Jesus Christ was a Horse Thief

by belbab 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • belbab

    This post is and experiment. I am following a suggestion of Almost Athiest. You can find

    his thread yourself if you wish. If I direct you to it from here it will spoil the experiment.

    Here goes:

    In former times there used to be the expression:

    The Bible is an old violin,

    You can play any ole tune on it.

    So someone gave the example:

    Jesus was a horse thief.

    Is this true. What do you think?


  • minimus

    Minimus would put it this way: "How Did Jesus Being A Horse Thief Affect Your Life?"

  • belbab

    Hey, the experiment is already working. It took seven minutes.

    The man did say didn't he that He would come like a thief in the night.

    What is he stealing?

  • Dune

    Your chance at a more fullfilling life?

  • Finally-Free

    He's not a horse thief. He's a systems administrator now. He recently emailed me seeking assistence with a DNS problem he was experiencing.


  • belbab

    Sorry Minimus, I was so exhilerated someone replied, that I forgot to acknowledge your post and answer your question.

    My reply is:

    That it soothes my conscience when I go out and steal something. You know like robbing Jeho

    by fudging on service report. Or like Ole Pappy Knorr, telling a Gilead class that if the single ones went out and got married then They were robbing Jehovah.

    Another thing. I cannot get hold of the most recent Watch Tower magazines. Sometimes wife steals them from her 89 year old mother and then she gives them to me. I ask her if it bothers her conscience, she says no, not at all. Should my Bible base consciousness be troubled?

    belbab, troubled

  • belbab

    Another question.

    Is it OK to steal a glance at big boobies?

    Go to All Most Athiest current post in Humor section, they're on display there.

    belbab, creating havoc, stealing time.

  • Leolaia

    Listen, you guys, he practically admitted to it. He says: "Look! I am coming as a thief. Happy is the one that stays awake and keeps his outer garments, that he may not walk naked and people look upon his shamefulness" (Revelation 16:15). Now, how else would he come from afar, but upon a horse (as it was done in those days), and he even warned that he would swipe your clothes and leave you nekkid if you happen to be sleeping....

  • Narkissos

    Actually he's on a record as a donkey thief (Mark 11:1ff//). Now where he got this white horse in Revelation 19 is not entirely clear...

  • belbab

    So it is established then, he was a horsethief, after all a donkey is of the equinine species. But there are other extenuating circumstances that have to be considered.

    I don't know if the book of Revelations would stand up in pages of The WatchTower as evidence. After all it is a prophecy of future events. Or is it? And then it has fantastic stuff in it, Roy Rogers type ghost riders in the sky, with a rider spewing spitballs out of his mouth. Also he was wearing a white hat, everybody knows that horse thieves always wore black hats. And seven headed dragon galloping up out of the sea, with a red- robed prostitute riding side saddle while holding on to a goblet of wine, without spilling a drop. Check out the WT images.

    Of course before we could use Revelations as evidence we would have to get Leoliea to do a search and see if and when it was introduced into the true Catholicized authenticated Bible Canon.

    I think we will have to rely on Mark, as our main body of evidence. Of course we would have to consider that JC didn't really steal the colt himself, he got his buddies to do it.

    Also, if I prophesied that around next Christmas that I was going to steal a Sally- ann contribution kettle from the front of the liquor store and at the time of the next christmas, sent my boys out to steal the the kettle, and then when questionned about it, I testify that it was prophetised way in advance so I would not be held guilty, would that exonerate me?

    I think we have to check out whether, this colt riding thingy, was fore told, in the established Masoretic non-Greek hebrew text from centuries past.

    So I believe that there are still some debateable questions as to whether the Bible is an old violin upon which you can play any ole tune

    belbab, speaking truth with his hand on the Book

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