I just wanted to give a quick update to anyone who might have read my earlier posts on this subject.
Tonight my wife, who is very active in the hall, has a talk in the back school. I would like to go with her. I haven't been to a meeting in about three months, and I really don't want to be there, but I want to support my wife. But of course, the people who supposedly have so much love are making it a difficult decision for me. Two nights ago an elder called our phone at ten o'clock at night and left a message wanting to know when he and the PO could come by for a sheperding call. This elder is the same man who has told ones in the hall that I am "bad association". This is the third time he has asked to come by. It reminds me of Randy Watters' story. I do not know if it is significant at all that he wants to bring the PO, instead of just a ministerial servant in training, as is usually the case.
To make it more complicated, my wife's talk is with the daughter of this same elder. I feel like I will be walking into a trap if I go. But it makes me angry to think even for a second that my freedom is restricted.
To make matters worse, I almost get the feeling that it will be a stress on my wife if I go, since she will be worried the whole time if something is going to happen. I have a way of getting very nasty when I get pushed to far. I don't yell or turn red, I don't cuss, but I very quietly state my feelings and will not walk away until I have made my point to whoever needs to hear. Of course, knowing what I know, that could get me a free trip to df land.
I have tried very hard to deal with my situation personally, without trying to stop my wife from engaging in service or other activities, and it blows my mind that it should be a problem for her and I to be together for her talk tonight. I guess I can't have it both ways.