Forgiveness--How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get On With Your Life

by blondie 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • nicolaou

    Forgiveness is hard. I'm not saying I cannot forgive but when confronted each and every day with the divisive legacy of the Watchtower cult, when every day I think of my two sisters and kid brother who never call me, when each day I see my Mother's heart break just a little bit more...

    Well let's just say I haven't forgiven the Watchtower yet and I don't know if I ever will, perhaps I'm just not up to that. But thanks Blondie for the encouragement - it's not wasted.


    Thought you might like this 75 x 75 pic as an avatar. It's just the front of cover CD but I think it looks quite striking!


  • Undecided

    Probably the hardest forgiveness to process it to forgive yourself of something stupid that you did.

    Ken P.

  • wednesday


    I won't argue with a dictionary, but I have never used the two words interchangeably. When I hear the word condone, I can hear someone saying " well I love them but you know I can't condone that behavior" To me they are saying they can't accept or agree with the behavior or allow the behavior to continue.

    When I hear the word forgive, I think of a situation where a spouse has been unfaithful but the mate decides to forgive. they aren't condoneing the adultry, they forgive on the condition it will cease

    How can i forgive people who would not spit on me if i was on fire? I'm afraid my hate runs deep. and yet i am somewhat in bondage from it.


  • lonelysheep
    How can i forgive people who would not spit on me if i was on fire?

    I hear you. How can one forgive someone who isn't sorry for what they did or the kind of people they are?

    Moving on with life while accepting that some people are just evil does not equal forgiveness to me.

  • jgnat

    I really like the five aspects of Jewish repentance. There is much more required of the penitent than, "Sorry".

    recognition of one's sins as sins (hakarát ha-chét'),

    remorse (charatá),

    desisting from sin (azivát ha-chét'),

    restitution where possible (peira'ón), and

    confession (vidúi).

  • blondie

    I guess the ones that think this book is saying that you must forgive those who don't acknowledge they have have sinned against you, haven't read it. I never implied this. But it is possible to move on. My father has never acknowledged his sexual abuse of me or my siblings, never said he was sorry, never tried to make amends. But it was possible for me to move on. Forgiveness is for you not them. Not that you forgive yourself or them, but you let go. Otherwise you could find yourself tied to them emotionally for a long, long time. Forgiveness is recognizing you can't change them, but you can change yourself.


  • blondie

    Forgiveness is not forgetting. .

    Forgiveness is not condoning


    Forgiveness is not absolution


    Forgiveness is not a form of self-sacrifice

  • lonelysheep

    Blondie, I agree with you. I think that forgiveness the way we see it, what it actually is, is different than how I was brought up to practice it.

  • blondie

    I can guarantee you, lonelysheep, that what the WTS teaches is not "forgiveness."

    An organization that sets a time limit for when an reinstated brother can be appointed an elder does not know what forgiveness as the story of the prodigal son illustrates. Or an organization that reinstates a confessed pedophile in 8 months but DF's an "adulterous" sister for 8 years to make an example of her.


  • Beth Shan
    Beth Shan
    This post is extremely helpful to me, thank you so much Blondie.

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