Have things changed in the org about association with dfed family members?

by ButtLight 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • ButtLight

    I asked defd about this, and he said no. When I was 18, none of my family members were really allowed to associate with me unless it was for a family emergency. They could'nt invite me over and eat with me. At my grandpas funeral, my mom and I were invited to also go eat afterwords. (both dfed) That seemed strange to me, cause half the congregation was there. And now we are getting together with family members for dinner and fun, and 3 of us are dfed. I asked them if they were sure, and they said they are fine with it. One of them said it was a conscious matter, since I am not trying to turn them away from the org. So is it just my family who cares not to shun us? Or is it now a conscious matter? Either way, I guess it doesnt matter since they arent shunning me! Just curious.

  • JH

    I don't think that the JW's changed their rules about disfellowshipped ones. I remember back in 1987 when I started, an elder said, "If you mingle with disfellowshipped ones, you will be disfellowshipped"! Did he also mean family? I guess so. This sounded very harsh for a newcomer like me.

    I'm glad that your family now speaks to you and allows you to go over to their home and eat with them.

    If you want to know if the JW teachings changed, go to a kingdom hall and see if the same members of your family still speak to you there.

  • ButtLight

    Jh, they did! I got a hug, and sat with them, and talked (just a bit with them) with elders sitting right behind me!

  • JH

    There is hope for that group afterall.

  • ButtLight

    I think this congregation here is more lapse then others. I havent been called on since my dfing. I even had people say Hi to me at the congregation, who shouldnt, soooo. Hey, since your coming next week, your not going to shun me are you? LMAO (otherwise you dont get your xmas gift)

  • JH

    I never shunned anyone, even in my best JW days. I found it un human, or do we say non human...

    And now, give me that gift

    pretty please

  • Stealth

    The secret elders manual states;

    Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped
    for associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there
    is spiritual association or an effort made to justify or
    excuse the wrongful course.

    UNIT 5 (a)

    Now the elders don't want this info to be comon knowledge so they will still look down on those who associate with a DF family member.

    So as long as you don't talk about religion, they should not get involved in the matter.

    I know of one case where an aging elder was giving hell to a publisher for associating with his own daughter who was defd 20 years prior, who lived out of state and he only visited her a couple times a year. Once the pub pushed the text from the "flock" book back into the elders face, he backed his ass up.

    So if your family really wants to spend time with you, show them this proof that it is a consience matter. However they still run the risk of being looked down on by self righteous members of the congregation and they may not want to risk that.

  • IP_SEC

    Yes, in that they have cracked down on it more.

    At my grandpas funeral, my mom and I were invited to also go eat afterwords.

    Butt, they might have cut you guys some slack over the trauma of death in the family. Im at work right now and cant look up the articles but a year or so ago in the WT and about 2 years in the KM they stated that it should be possible to have almost no contact with dfed family members living outside the home. Its all about being loyal to jehooba.

  • whyamihere

    Buttlight you are DFed?

    Oh my god I ate with you! I must take a shower and rub the bible all over myself!

    I think some people just don't care anymore....I have seen some people just accept it and act as if nothing happened. My Dad's side is like that. Well they all get Dfed over and over so it is hard to keep track....lol.


  • greendawn

    I can't see how they would change since the real purpose for isolating the dubs from the disfel or disass/ed is to prevent them from hearing some revealing info about this sect. It's all about damage control.

Share this