Today I sat and really realized how absolutely hopeless I feel. I have had so many things happen in my life this year and a huge percentage of it has been items I have to face or tackle. I have prioritized and organized myself to death and I am so very overwhelmed. I am back to basics and down to the lowest level of work that I can have right now on my plate. This is not a small load at all.
With that said, I have looked at the angles and have decided it is just a nose to the grindstone kind of situation.
No whimpering meant, but I really have needed a hug and some saving. I hate to rely on people and I have had to. I keep one foot stepping deliberately in front of the other and am doing what I need to do. People I would hope would be there for me are not, or are callouse and just occupied. They are dating or shopping, clubbing and living and do not have the same lot that I do at the moment. Sometimes when I need them the most they do the most hurtful or unsensitive things. It really feels like a kick in the gut. Call me melodramatic, but I am a delicate creature and sometimes do not want to be as tough as my life has made me. I want the friendships to be two way. I need reasurrance and all the silly stuff the openly "needy" people get sometimes.
I am finding it bits humbling though, that some days the people I least credited for the role they play in my life have been my lifelines. I have had people I would not consider close to me give me that needed hug or compliment, or a knowing pat on the hand and a "hang in there girl." Some acquaintances I never thought would give a damn have called just to say they love me. Call me melodramatic, but I am a delicate creature and sometimes do not want to be as tough as my life has made me.
THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME! I just want to say that and that I appreciate it. It is not anyone here because I don't expect deep love through the Internet, just a sence of comradery. I mean no offence by this. I just thought that maybe you all have someone that helps you through your world and life every day and it might be really cool to post it.
So what do you say? Anyone have small thanks to give to people who save your "so called life" everyday? (Trust me I have some huge thanks to give to people who have done some very large things for me...but this is about the small tokens of affection and caring that get you from one moment to the next and keep you smiling!)
Here are some of the small thanks I am going to call and give tomorrow:
Thanks to my pal that sends me a stupid joke a day. I always have to laugh in spite of my trodden demeanor.
Thank you to my bosses co-partner who makes me coffee everyday and makes a strong pot just for me.
Thanks to my boss that does not write me up when I am repeatedly two to five minutes late.
Thanks to my daughter who is pitching in tenfold and only grouching about it once every two days.
Thanks to the friend who brought me a six pack and made me stop working for an hour.
Thanks to the gal who sits near me and brings soft tissue just so my nose does not tear up with all the tears I have been shedding.
Thanks to the crazy lady at work who picked up half of my workload and cut out 100 Christmas snowflakes in such intricate patterns so that I could get onto other duties.
NOW YOURS?