I can identify with some of what you wrote.I raised 4sons on my own since my divorce,I lost my home,was destitute then along came the JWS........
When my sons rebelled against the JWS years later I was like alunatic,even chased one son with a mop to stop him joining the skinheads he got involved with.My other son discovered drink and girls,drugs.another drink and fighting,the other just loved women....I had afew years of HELL.But I persevered because I loved them.They are all going to die at Armageddon I thought,and began to have nightmares.
Today they are brilliant all settled ,with families of their own,all own their own homes,put themselves through college (something I did not encourage).They are not Christians yet,but they do believe just want to find their own way...
People argue,differ,the Gospel is simple.........wonderful Good News about our Saviour who died for us to reconcile us back to God who will make all things new.It is men who complicate everything....and old crustyface.
Collossians 1:15.He is the image of the invisible God,the firstborn over all creation,16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on the earth,visible and invisible,wether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers,All things were created through Him and for Him.17,And he is before all things,and in Him all things consist.18.And He is the head of the body,the church,who is the beginning,the firstborn from the dead,that in all things.He may have the pre-eminence.19.For it pleased the Father that In Him all the fullness should dwell.20.and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself,by Him,whether things on earth or things in heaven,having made peace through the blood of the Lamb.
There are many things in my life I am now ashamed of have repented of.In my childhood I experienced hardship,know what is is to be hungry,see violence,many things I won't mention here,My Mother died in my arms,My sister died aged 37 my brother aged 6 months,aunts/uncles/cousins/friends .I have been to so many funerals .Seen the confused faces,heard the questions............what's it all about?
When we come to the foot of the Cross,when we repent of our sins truly from the heart,we are forgiven God has washed all our sins away by Jesus blood.Ephesians 1:7 ............gone...........
If we confess our sins,He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.(1 John 1:9).
Just give yourselves to the Lord in prayer talk to Him.Give it all over to Him your life,your all,your everything and you will have such peace in your souls.In the world we have tribulation but Jesus has conquered.
You will go to heaven when you die IN CHRIST.then the promise in Rev 21: New Heavens,what will this be like? I don't know.But I know that God will wipe away every tear and that there will be no more death,or mourning,or crying or pain,for the old order of things will have passed away.
Revelation 1:8 "I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA THE BEGINNING AND THE END says the Lord, WHO IS AND WHO WAS, AND WHO IS TO COME THE ALMIGHTY "