I read and reread your posts. And find "nothing" to say in reply. I could quote and highlight and applaud at many of your phrases. No use.
Just feel like waving at you from another spot, neither better nor worse, on the infinite scene of the theatre of nonsense.
You wear the mask of Dionysos. Somebody has to. You play it wonderfully, as you should. I'm not sure which part I play but I know it's mine. Even if it is the part of a poor actor I play it perfectly like everybody else.
We are the actors, and the audience, and the playwright and the play. It is the theatre of cruelty, as Artaud put it, and the theatre of compassion.
We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. (Paul, Romans 14:7)