I've written about this many times here.
My Jehovahs Witness Mother in Law has decided that she wants to be a part of our life again (this week). We have basically disfellowshipped her from our lives because she refuses to follow our rules. They are simple.
1. Be consistent in your contact with our family.
2. No talk of religion or the WTS.
3. No talk of family history of sexual abuse.
She cannot follow these rules. Not even for 5 minutes.
She's called 2 times in the last week asking for us to come and visit her.
I am feeling really angry towards her.
She caused so much drama this summer when my husband was hurt. My husband didn't want to relate medical information to his mother, so he asked me to do it. When I did this, mother in law accused me of lying when I told her this is what my husband wanted and that he didn't want to talk to anyone. Which was true...he was so depressed and hurting he didn't want to talk with her or any of his sisters and deal with their craziness. And if she wasn't kept informed she would continuously call his cellphone and irritate him. At one point, my husband was in the ER and had an allergic reaction to a medication. He started having chest pain. I called his Mother because I was very worried he might die (and I would want my mother there or to at least know if it were me) - (she was at an assembly) to let them know what was going on. His sister thanked me for calling and letting them know..MIL didn't think the situation was that serious and didn't understand why I was bothering her.
I haven't seen her since my husband was in the hospital having surgery - she didn't speak to me at all. She spoke to him only .....I ended up leaving the room and getting some coffee - calling my Mom and crying on her shoulder. When I came back MIL was going on about the family stopping by to visit my husband when he got out of the hospital. Hubby was still doped on morphine and I said...that's fine, but you need to call first and make sure he's feeling up to visitors. She of course got offended by this....but this has always been our family rule. Call before you come by - don't just drop in.
So my husband wants us to go visit. I don't want to. I want her to keep staying away even though I feel guilty that our older son wants to see her....she has zero relationship with our youngest son.
And I'm really peeved that she had a party for all her grandchildren...the jw ones during the thanksgiving break and she didn't invite my oldest son...but of course it got back to my son and he had hurt feelings. My sister in law called to tell us about how much fun the kids had at the party....I think she knew that my son hadn't been invited and was just being a b*tch....because she never calls any other time unless her car is broken!
And in a fit of weakness a couple weeks ago, my son asked to be taken to her house. I took him - prepared to be nice for a very quick visit....she was there and he was knocking on the door and she wouldn't open the door!!! And my son knew she was there, because if her car is there she is there and he said he could hear someone moving around inside. I left a note on the door saying - I'm sorry we missed you ______has been asking about seeing you and we were in the area.
My husband is very kind and forgiving. He has hope that his mother will come suddenly become like my Mom and be this wonderful grandma to our children...its not gonna happen in my opinion. He's using the same guilt - she only has so many years before she's gone, you're depriving son #1, & #2 of a relationship with her, maybe this time it will work out, the bible says we should forgive 1000 times.
I just feel angry and sick over this.
I know I've written about this quite alot on here. I appreciate all the support and kindness I've received from all of you wonderful people. Can you help me out again.
I'm just so tired of this. It seems like too much right now.