Waiting on Jehovah

jayhawk1

What I am about to say is very sad.
I would like some support over the next week. August 24, my dad took his life. He told me the day before he did it that he was tired of waiting on Jehovah. I have heard so many say in the Congregation that they were glad Jehovah was waiting as long as possable to save all he could before he distroys this system. My dad got tired of waiting on Jehovah, he became depressed and saw no end to this "old system". Also added to this, he saw me and the elders fight over my right to wear a beard. I told him I was tired of fighting with the elders over it and was not going to the meetings anymore, I think he lost all hope.
I have been doing some reflecting over the past week, and I am getting more upset about it. Please give me some incouragement. I HATE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES AND THE GOD THEY WORSHIP.

Pierced Angel

Hey Jayhawk,

The anniversary is real hard to think about, I know. My brother died in the fall,when the leaves change colors and I don't look forward to it anymore. My cousin left many unanswered questions when he committed suicide and made a lot of us feel like we should have done much more and that we should have known that he was troubled. It's so easy to overanalyze and find excuses for why we are responsible. Don't fall into that trap. Your dad wouldn't want you to feel that way, no one would wish that on their child. If they thought beforehand about how much they would inflict guilt and pain on their loved ones they never would do it, but they aren't thinking of anyone else, are they?
Someone that depressed isn't reachable anymore and anything you may have said or done wouldn't probably have changed anything in his mind. You're arguing about the beard issue wouldn't have made him think all was lost, it should have been somehting that would have spurred him on to win you over once again to the truth. That would be my instinct as a parent. And, under normal situations,that's what most parents would do. The thing is, he was obviously too depressed and didn't pursue that because his own pain was overwhelming him. You can't sit and think about how if you were attending meetings regularly and being an obedient little witness that he would have decided to not commit suicide. It probably wouldn't have made much difference, especially since his real depression came from the lies told by the WTS.

Don't let it kill your spirit though. Try to embrace the good things and the good memories you have of him and show his memory honor. Let that be your special gift to him and to God. Show honor by doing things that help you remember the happier times.

I wish I could say more, but all I know is that it gets easier with time. We don't know what is going to happen, but I have a strong feeling that I'll see my brother and cousin again. You'll see your dad and all this won't even matter anymore.

Anne

"When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before." Mae West

Maximus

Hi Jay,

I've had way too much experience with JW suicide. I'm going to write you a personal note when I get a minute.

Simply put, suicide happens when the pain of hanging on is clearly greater than the pain of letting go. At that moment it is not a question of hurting the family or dearly loved ones, it is the complete and total inability to see any way out of engulfing blackness that paralyzes all thought and reason.

This is a good time to finish your grieving; don't rush it. Be as angry as you want. You are among friends who care deeply and you'll get what you need.

Please stay in touch.

Maximus

AGuest

Jayhawk, dear one...

May the undeserved kindness and mercy of my God and Father, the TRUE God and the Holy One of Israel, JAH OF ARMIES, and the peace of His Christ, my Lord, the TRUE 'chosen' one... and leader of Israel and all who 'go with' them... come to be upon you. May they strengthen you in your spirit... as well as your heart and flesh... and may they open your eyes further to 'see' what you already know to be true, that the 'god' of the WTBTS is a 'false' god, one who delights in judgment, condemnation and death, rather than mercy, forgiveness and life. May they excavate 'ears' for you to hear the voice of the TRUE messiah, not one that has placed itself in the 'seat of Moses', but the One APPOINTED by the True God... to speak to you... guide you... and 'be with' you... all the days until the end of the age.

May my Father, through my Lord, grant you the fruit of His spirit that is 'peace' and 'long-suffering', that you may be able to bear the pain of the wrong done your father... and you... in that he was misled into following a god that has no choice but to let his people 'wander' in the wilderness, never to reach the Promised Land. May He grant you 'eyesalve', His holy spirit, to OPEN your eyes so that you CAN see that which is 'afar off'... the TRUE promised land... and the 'reality' of it... so that your faith may not give out, due to the error and misleadings of a false prophet.

May He rescue you from the 'wild beast' to the extent that you will NEVER again be in its 'clutches'... and may He preserve you so that you will be granted the reward of seeing your dear father again. May He also cover over any 'error' of your father, for YOUR sake... by means of YOUR faith... and grant that which is in your heart... to recline WITH you father... at the table of my Lord... in his kingdom. And may He grant me, His servantgirl, the privilege... to see it.

I am YOUR servant, and a slave of Christ, to time indefinite.

So be it.

Shelby

Ranchette

Jay
First let me say I'm so sorry for your loss.I can't say things any better than Ann did.I agree with her all the way.You were NOT the last straw nor was there any thing you could have done to change this.
I know this doesn't mean much now but time will pass and along with the passing of time some of the pain will go with it.It will get easier.What I want you to do is see that life is a gift. It's wonderful and we shouldn't give up on life or this world that we live in.My own sister tried to end her life because of the hoplessness she felt as a witness. I'm also afraid for my mother she's tired too but refuses to think for herself so I've acepted what may result.I'm glad you have chosen to think. You have potential for a very happy life with a mind free of this kind of bondage.Stay strong!
Ranchette

Rex B13

It is NOT your fault in any way what happened with your father. He may have even been affected by the chemical imbalance that causes many cases of depression.
Your religion portrays a limited god that it worships and more and more I believe that the devil himself is behind it.
Right now you need prayer, support from loving individuals and not the usual display that the Watchtower followers exhibit. Don't be afraid to go to any friend who reveals himself as someone seeking to do God's work and comfort you.
E-mail me and I will be happy to call you or find someone in your area to help you out.
Rex

Tina

(((((((((jay)))))))))))))
I'm so sorry! Maximus is right. Feel free to express any and all emotions! I went thru an 'anniversarry myself a few months ago,I understand your pain. I'll eamil you my addy sweetie. I'm here for any support you need. luv,Tina

jayhawk1

I have been reading along as people post their thoughts and well wishes. I wanted to say thanks. Last Thursday I spent most of the day crying, and I have not been in a very good mood since. I don't believe I need professional help, but I did want to get some support from here. I have noticed many of us have one thing in common, we have been hurt by the Society. That is something many of my new friends can't relate to. They can see I am in pain, but they have no idea how it is on the inside of the Orginization. Nor do they know that my dad took his life. One of my new friends thinks I am exadurating (SP?) how bad it is. I am tired of the mental abuse and I wish Jehovah's Witnesses would just go away and quit "helping" mankind. When I said before, "I HATE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES AND THE GOD THEY WORSHIP", I mean their version of God, not mine.

"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

AngelofMuZiC

Jayhawk,

My sincere condolences, dear friend. Remember that we are all here to help you, and anything you want talk about, rant about, cuss about, scream about etc....you just go ahead and get it out. Were here for ya, if you have questions, ask. (you know that already)

Joanne

Norm

Hello JayHawk,

Sorry to hear about your dad. Like so many other things there is way to much suicide among Jehovah's Witnesses. A couple of my friends have committed suicide and it is in many ways causing a sadness and grief beyond what a “normal” loss does. We always wonder for years if we could have done something, done more for the person.
Being sad and grieving is of course a part of any normal human beings emotions and I think it is very necessary to be able to cope and get on with life. I hope you will be able to cope and move on in life. I lost my mom in cancer in 97, and have learned to live with it, but will of course never get completely “over” it.

What I find extraordinary repulsive about the Watchtower Society is that they are stealing people’s lives completely. Convincing people that the life you have now is nothing, it is the next that counts. The life in this “system” isn’t real life, in this life all you can do is peddle Watchtower magazines, in the next you get to live. Their harping on how bad life is in this “system” and how horrible the “conditions” are is also very damaging. All these doom and gloom churches completely ignore how much better the “conditions” is now compared with earlier times. Keeping people in ignorance and superstition is of course a necessity for all religion.

Norm

Waiting on Jehovah

Share this