After Armageddon?

by ScaryHairy 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • ScaryHairy
    ScaryHairy

    Hey, i was wondering what does the society say about after armageddon, (is it you live forever in paradise ?)

  • twinflame
    twinflame

    That's when all the JWs get to go claim the big house they staked out in field service in the snobby neighborhoods.

  • R6Laser
    R6Laser

    After Armageddon I plan on taking over a couple of islands in the caribbean and proclaiming myself the Dictator of such islands.

  • daystar
    daystar

    They believe Christ will reign over the earth for 1,000 years, after which Satan and his baddies are set free to try to deceive as many as they can in one last go. After which, all of them and their followers get wiped out for good, leaving a pure theocratically governed earth, free of death, disease and war.

  • FairMind
    FairMind

    They say that we really don't know what it will be like. There will be the general resurrection of the dead and a great teaching work with a final exam at the end of the thousand years. Those who pass live forever and God kills those who flunk. Other than that, "eye has not seen' and "ear has not heard". Oh yea! The birds will have a great feast during the period shortly after Armageddon as they eat the dead.

  • DevonMcBride
    DevonMcBride
    They believe Christ will reign over the earth for 1,000 years, after which Satan and his baddies are set free to try to deceive as many as they can in one last go. After which, all of them and their followers get wiped out for good, leaving a pure theocratically governed earth, free of death, disease and war.

    Sounds like a great storyline for a Scifi movie doesn't it?

  • forsharry
    forsharry

    http://www.macgregorministries.org/jehovahs_witnesses/armagsurv.html I'm not saying I agree with all of it...but I got a chuckle out of it.

  • Mary
    Mary

    Paradise? You should be so lucky. After Armageddon is when the really tough work begins. First of all, you get to scour the area looking for your relatives (assuming you survived yourself), hoping against hope that they got at least 10 hours on their Field Service Report just before the Really Big Sheeew started. You'll be stepping over your dead neighbours but not to worry-----the birds should be showing up shortly to start picking their brains for the "feast". This is good. The more the birds eat, the fewer bodies you'll have to bury.

    By the time you find your relatives, your local elders should already be thinking of new ways to "organize their ministry" and reaffirm their authority over their local congregations. Possibly a meeting might be held that very night. After all, the End of the World is no reason to miss meetings is it? That would show a complete lack of appreciation for the spiritual bounty that's set before you. You can forget moving into that house you had your eye on for years. If it's a nice one, some elder's already got the dibs on it. It's just best that you keep your sorry ass where it is.

    There won't be any more Tim Horton's or Dunkin' Donuts, so unless you happen to be living in Columbia, you can forget about your morning brew of coffee for a while. God only knows when the resurrection is going to start but you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll still be expected to turn in a Service Report every month for the next thousand years. You'll also have to tell Moses and Noah that they really need to show up at the meetings with a suit and tie on. Robes aren't suitable at all. You also need to counsel all the sisters to leave Elvis alone for god's sake as he's not allowed to marry anyone since he was resurrected. Yep, Elvis the Pelvis is going to be celebate for all eternity ladies.

    On your day off, you finally get to do something you've been waiting for all your life: you go and pet a lion!! Unfortunately, it's soon apparent that they're not perfect yet either and the damn thing attacks you. Someone finds you bleeding but there's no hospital to take you to because they were all destroyed so they find a needle and thread and sew you up themselves. You start feeling woozy due to all the blood loss but there's no chance of getting a transfusion (look where you are for god's sake!) so you just take it easy for the next couple of weeks and hope for the best. Then you see Brother and Sister Snot-nosed and you wonder how the hell they ever made it through the Big A. You suppose that Jehovah wasn't too picky about who He let through and take comfort in knowing that these two now have to spend eternity together.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Paradise? I always thought it was a pair o' dice?

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    I don't know and I don't care because all the local dubs know I am gonna get toasted at the Big A if I am still alive. If I'm dead they think I'm gonna stay dead. All this for rejecting their apostate Governing Body for not letting me worship Jesus in the Kingdom Hall.

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