Attention: Former Elders (page 2)

garybuss

Honor shmonor, if my kids shun me they're outta my will, they're outta my life. They understand that kinda language.
Ya can't bargain or reason with a Jehovah's Witness. Ya gotta hit em where it hurts. In the pocket book. Every Witness is cash sensitive. It's their soft spot. Send em a list of things they loose if they shun.
A Witness shuns to cause us pain. Refuse the pain and make them the shunned. Let em know they can start it but YOU are gonna finish it. Be happy you are shunned and let them know. Retaliate with indignation and strength. I'm a firm believer to reward bad behavior in ANY way just will encourage and prolong the bad behavior.
Disfellowshipped and disassociated Witnesses are not the weak parties to the issue, we are the strong ones. That's why the Witness people try so hard to isolate us and silence us. They don't want to silence and isolate us because we are not a threat. THEY recognize our power. Now we need to. Many passive or reactive behaviors by us are wrong. They want to see sad. They want to see us bargain. When we show them sad and when we try to bargain with them, we are telling they what they are doing is effective.
I think to let a shunner think I love them and will accept them back into the fold with open arms when they quit shunning me is one hundred and eighty degrees wrong. By telling them I love them even if they shun me is to remove the consequences for their behaviors. I want to compound the consequences to them, not minimize them.

GoingGoingGone

Garybuss... that post is priceless. I'm going to save it and reread it every time I feel a weak and weepy moment coming on... no matter what the situation!

GGG

garybuss

Sadness tends to immobilize, anger tends to mobilize. Visit the sadness, but don't stay. Use the power of the anger to rebuild your life in a positive way. Get out and meet people. At first make your social life busy. Make it too busy if you can. Then sort it out and settle in with the people who you feel good around.
Look at the grief wheel and recognize when you are stuck. Get counseling. Stay away from escape drugs like alcohol or behaviors like gambling. Look for people worse off and help them. Get involved with helping them. Behave like the person you want to be and next time you look in the mirror you will be that person.
I have three simple rules for relationships. One, Never hurt anybody on purpose. Two, Always treat everybody like it's the last time you will ever see them. Three, Help someone every single day.
Life will get better fast. All of us are comfortable in spite of our setbacks, not because we never had any disappointments. Find that path and fight yourself to stay on it.

AlmostAtheist

One, Never hurt anybody on purpose. Two, Always treat everybody like it's the last time you will ever see them. Three, Help someone every single day.

Sounds like Apostate reasoning to me!

sf

By telling them I love them even if they shun me is to remove the consequences for their behaviors.

Exactly how I feel and think about it too.

When my mom says "remember, i love you", I ask her "why"...Your god is going to kill me and your grand daughter if I don't repent and seek re-instatement, right?...don't ever tell me you love me again. Your love is for the WTBTS and it's policies. You know it and I know it."

Gary, you are so profound in such a simple way. And you are very appreciated. Thank you.

Lee,

Thanks doll. I'm doing okay though. I'll read your pm now.

It's just that lightbulb moment knocked me out of the loop for a moment.

I'm fine.

sKally

outoftheorg

Ya want to know what I think on this subject????

I'll make it easy for you.

Read Gary's posts a couple of times again.

It is exactly what I did and I do.

Outoftheorg

juni

Hi to all of you tonight!

Gary - very good information. I like your humor and your timely advice. Been in counseling MANY years. Not now though. A counselor would advise the same thing. juni

Apostanator

Garybuss, I always enjoy your comments. what you say is true

Sheepish

Gary, I see where you're coming from... I just don't totally agree. I DO agree that it is not necessary for them to see you sad, but I don't withdraw and then deal out my love again, depending on what someone does to me, (maybe the intimacy, the access to my emotions). I try not to return evil for evil. I want them to know what real love is. It's a decision to care for/about someone no matter what stupid mistakes or decisions they make. For instance, there are things I understand to be sin; if one of my children sinned these ways, I would not stop loving them, or for that matter shun them .I don't have to, I am not the judge.

Your point about we being the strong ones is well taken. But when you first leave the WT you don't always feel strong-you feel off-balance, and unsure because there is a lot of information you don't know yet.That would be a good time to stay away from family. But when you do find out the facts, I think it's important that they see you confident and happy again, so they wonder what you've found.If you purposely isolate yourself from all opportunities, they will never know, and go on believeing every person who leaves becomes a drooling, pagan apostate, who can't pray and doesn't even read the Bible! The WT wins again.

Not trying to start an arguement, just sharing my point of view.

garybuss

I gotta take superstition and religion and scripture all the way out of a situation where somebody comes into my home and directs my sons to shun and snub me. MsMcDucket, look at what's happening. This is a conspiracy to alienate the affection of your children. That's outrageous! Take all the religion out of the way and go after the people responsible for this. Go to the daily newspaper religion editor and give your story.
I'm not just talking. Here's the kink to the newspaper interview I did.
http://www.freeminds.org/buss/argus_leader.htm
The Jehovah's Witness people need to be met on a grass roots eye to eye level and held accountable. Elders need to be named and cataloged and their crimes against our families need to be advertised in the light of day. My problem is all with the Jehovah's Witness people, not some New York printing business. This is absolutely not some religion problem. It's a business operating a shake down scam to silence dissenters. The people who cooperate with the shake down are part of the problem. They are not victims. They want you to be a victim and they are counting on you to play your part as a victim. Fool em. Go after em.

Attention: Former Elders

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