Excellent point, frogleg. My pastor taught that guilt over past actions is unproductive. If our conscience prods us to do better today, that is what makes us better human beings.
Tetrapod, I'm going to stream my own thoughts here, so please forgive if I ramble. My entire Christian life I feel led. If I don't change, I stagnate. I've seen it happen often enough with some of my fellow Christians. I often wonder, how do they turn off that inner voice? It must eat at them every day. I'll give you two work examples that permanently changed the kind of manager/employee I am. First of all, "Why do I have to forgive a vicious, manipulative jerk?" and second, "The higher up you go, the more people you serve. Be a servant of all."
Having put in twenty years with my employer, I have now outlasted most of my enemies. Now I am sorry I wished evil things on the people who made my life hell. They haven't changed, they are as cruel as ever. AND their career is stalled. I am sure some of them gnash their teeth as they see me promoted and rewarded over and over again. In their eyes, I'm no different than they are, maybe a bit more of a patsy. They just don't get it. An employee that is humble enough to admit to her mistakes is ten times more valuable to her employer. So I succeed while they languish. Besides, and this is the big revelation to me, these people have to live with themselves every day. I don't like being around them. How do they stand it? Now, I feel sorry for them, and I understand the phrase, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." I can forgive now, because I finally understand that I have all the wealth.
Being a servant of all. A manager is not on the front lines. My staff are the ones who take the big hits every day, interacting with the customer, meeting dealines, putting out fires. So my job is to make their job as easy as possible, to remove roadblocks, and to be sure they are happy and healthy. Well, actually, I have it a little easier. I have a small group of supervisors who I take care of who in turn, take care of my staff. When we get together, the people are top on my mind, "How is Sally Sue doing? Is her son back from the hospital yet? I get the impression she's getting a little bored, is it time to give her a new challenge?" I have never thrown my authority around just because I can. I give away the exciting jobs to my subordinates so they can learn and grow. My job is hectic. When I took over this large unit, I often lost sleep worrying about the staff. But I've thought long and hard and the alternative (not caring) is just not worth it. Better I lose a little sleep and the staff get taken care of. Is it worth it? My boss says so. Talented people line up to work for me.