I'm sorry, but I just had to laugh...

Ingenuous

I was browsing around the jw-media.org site in response to another poster and suddenly found parts of the site funny - sad, but funny.

Baptism
This act symbolizes one's dedication to God and is taken by those of responsible age who have made an informed decision...
Organization
Following the model of first-century Christianity, Jehovah's Witnesses have no clergy-laity division. All baptized members are ordained ministers and share in the preaching and teaching work... [So when will the sisters start giving talks and performing marriages?]
Conscience
Jehovah's Witnesses avoid making rules and regulations beyond those provided in the Scriptures, and they do not follow traditions that contradict Bible teachings. Emphasis is placed on personal application of Bible principles and the value of a sound, Bible-based conscience. [Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor.]
Are you fundamentalists?
... The Bible teaches Christians to be kind, good, mild, and reasonable—qualities that do not allow for the kind of fanaticism that is sometimes associated with fundamentalism.—James 3:17.
Do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?
... Jesus said that we should not be judging one another. Humans look at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He sees accurately and judges mercifully. God has committed judgment into Jesus' hands, not ours.
Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses accept blood transfusions?
We follow the Bible command, found at Acts chapter 15, verse 20, Acts chapter 21, verse 25, and elsewhere, that Christians must "abstain from . . . blood." [Which is why others have to donate the gallons upon gallons of blood needed to create the "fractions" JWs accept - blood that has to be donated, processed and stored.]
Interfaith Marriage
Marriage mates with different religions are encouraged to treat each other with tolerance and respect. Children should be given the opportunity to learn about the religious views of both parents.

OK, now I want to cry...

vitty

I wish I could do a topic like this ,................. Well done.

Momofmany

Marriage mates with different religions are encouraged to treat each other with tolerance and respect. Children should be given the opportunity to learn about the religious views of both parents.

Sure they can learn about the other parents relgious veiws, but then be belittled, or insulted right afterwards.I think they left that part out by accident.

inquirer

@Ingenuous

I am surprised of how untrue I think all those statements are to me these days! Thanks for sharing it with us!

When people Live the way God wants you to live. You become critized, insulted, you always have fingers pointed straight at you. If everyone just opened the Bible and actually read it. It would make this world alot easier to live. He teaches us for Our own benifit. Not his, ours. So instead of laughing .Listen!!

stillajwexelder

Jehovah's Witnesses avoid making rules and regulations beyond those provided in the Scriptures

No clapping after reinstatement

If somebody wants to be reinstated they sometimes have to wait greater than 6 months

ETC

I would love to see these in the scriptures

heathen

This act symbolizes one's dedication to God and is taken by those of responsible age who have made an informed decision...

uh don't they meand dedication to the WTBTS corporation here ? I've seen them baptize people that are not of responsible age like around 12 yrs .

The part about having a clergy is not correct either . On their tax forms they claim clergy status . They might as well admit it with the elder arangement and such is exactly like having a clergy .

enosant

It wouldn't be amiss if the the elders, POs, SOs, DOs & GB members had their own vestments!

The meetings can be so ritualistic that they start to rival the services of the more established churches.

enosant
Un peut de bien ne peut faire de mal - es.67

tetrapod.sapien

Are you fundamentalists?

... The Bible teaches Christians to be kind, good, mild, and reasonable—qualities that do not allow for the kind of fanaticism that is sometimes associated with fundamentalism.—James 3:17.
Do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?
... Jesus said that we should not be judging one another. Humans look at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He sees accurately and judges mercifully. God has committed judgment into Jesus' hands, not ours.
ah HA HA HA HA HA!

I'm sorry, but I just had to laugh...

Ingenuous

Organization

Conscience

Are you fundamentalists?

Do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?

Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses accept blood transfusions?

Interfaith Marriage