Hey telltruth.
I hope you are being careful about not having children, if that is a matter of concern. Children bring a weak or ex-jw's phobias roaring back with a vengence. Be very careful in that regard.
A minor protocol note; it is best I have found to start a new thread when the subject changes. Eventually a thread gets so long that nobody wants to wade through it. There are exceptions. Those who are following your story will recognize your name. And try to make the new thread as specific as possible. There are a million, "im new here" titles. It will help us all track your progress.
I will say that you probably have a good opportunity to help this person, since she doesn't mind breaking the taboo of being with a worldy guy. That likely means she is open to breaking other taboos. The key goal is getting her to realize that this is not the right religion. That is her center of gravity. If that is not removed, all the other jw behavior is just waiting for a moment of uncertainty to come rushing back.
Make her feel safe, loved, and trusting of you. As long as she feels that way with you, she won't feel the need to rush back into the arms of her abusive ex.
CYP