Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I am a 47 year old man living in semi-rural Hampshire UK. I am married with 2 children. I was an active JW until the age of 42. My wife and I exited together. I have a chemistry background and work in technical sales for natural cosmetics ingredients manufacturer.
Were you a born in or a convert?
I would say born in, my mother started studying with witnesses whilst pregnant with me and was baptised at the international convention in 69 when I was two and half years of age.
Are your parents / family JWs?
My mother was the only JW in our family. She divorced my never a JW father in 77 and alienated my brother and I from all the non-JW family members. She remarried, a very enthusiastic JW when I was an adult. My older brother is an elder and is married to a pioneer and they have 2 children who they are indoctrinating into the cult.
How many generations have been JWs?
My brother and I are the 2 nd generation.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
I was an elder when I left the WT and had been an “appointed man” since the early 90’s.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
I always had doubts about humans only being 6000 years old and realised the flood was just an allegorical tale. I did however, believe in god, that we were his special creation and felt I had a relationship with him. I believed in demons and angels, miracles as well as biblical prophecy.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
I was baptised at 17 whilst at 6 th form. All my friends were either baptised or getting baptised and it was expected that I would too. My social life in the congregation was important to me and baptism was essential for social inclusion.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
The nepotism, hypocrisy and double standards of the elder body on which I served.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Initially on the internet, JWN was the first site I found and from there it was suggested that I read Ray Franz books.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
Initially it was hard. I was at the time of waking up employed by a company owned and primarily run by JW’s, I was still an elder and my wife had no idea of what was going through my mind. My entire life revolved around the religion, we still held the meetings for field service at our home and all my friends were witnesses. Within months my wife was awake too which made things much easier but losing lifelong friends and rebuilding our social life was still traumatic.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
The initial idea was to fade – it wasn’t to be, my wife and I were DF’d for apostasy in January 2011.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Wife and children, may have influenced others indirectly.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
My immediate family left with me. My extended JW family shun me, but we were never very close.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Other than MIL who still has some contact with us, all JW family shun.
How long have you now been out?
DF’d 2011 but woke up April 2009.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
I had no desire to embark on irresponsible behaviours but I wanted to be the real me, and see where that would lead.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
I am proud of what I am achieving in my career. I work for an entrepreneurial company where I am pretty much in an autonomous role building the business internationally. It is challenging but never dull, I travel the world and learn something new every day.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
No, I still miss some of the people I once considered friends and if they wake up I will be there for them.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
No. Life on the outside is wonderful.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I can see no evidence for there being a god.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
It sucks.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
No, I love holidays and celebrations, they bring so much joy and excitement to my kids.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Yes.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Most of my close friends are Ex-JW although I have reconnected with some friends from school.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Yes.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
I am becoming more ambivalent about them. They are captive but IMO because they want to be.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
They won’t come anywhere near us…
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Support.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Until they are ready to wake up they won’t. When someone is starting to wake up, I refer them to JW Facts and Ray Franz’s book. I try to support them by providing a listening ear.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
It will evolve.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
I would have probably made different choices of career and would certainly have been ambitious if I wasn’t in the cult.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
No.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Curse. I lacked self-esteem since I could never do enough in the eyes of my mother and the congregation. I was taught to be subservient, not to question, not to pride in my achievements and to give way to others. This resulted in me not showing any ambition at work and being uncomfortable when I had to assertive.
I might have been more rebellious if I wasn’t raised in the cult, I might have experimented with drugs and been promiscuous, but would that have made me a worse person than I am now? Well looking at my friends and colleagues who did those things, they all seem to have settled into useful members of society and they at least have a youth they can talk about!
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Usually in bed. Weekends are a time for unwinding and spending time doing what I want, with family and with friends.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
No
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
More than is healthy…
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
I would like to think that I can still be here to support those exiting. I would love for my nephews to find this community.
Do you fear the future?
Not in the slightest.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Don’t dwell on the past, look forward, look for opportunities and grab them.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
If only I had left earlier.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
No
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
http://www.thebroadroad.com/forum/?action=goto&index=1#topic/Why-I-left-the-JW-s-after-42-Years.htm
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"