Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I live in Liverpool UK. I have two kids. I am divorced. My young son was taken from me in a bad custody battle at 9yrs. He is still fighting for his right to live with me, he is 12 now. My daughter, is 21, she works in human reasources and is studying OU, physics and maths. I am a Chemical Analyst.
Were you a born in or a convert?
I converted from Judaism
Are your parents / family JWs?
My ex takes my son to meetings. He is an athiest, and tells his dad each week he does not wan to go. We go on other JW websites together. He know TTATT. My daughter knows TTATT and has left.
How many generations have been JWs?
None
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Regular pioneer, if that even is a position????
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes
Did you get baptised? When and why?
Yes at about 20yrs, I was mislead this was the true religion and believed the lies.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
Injustice in the congregations, and cognitive dissonance that the elders were guided by holy spirit, but imperfect. This in a nonsense statement.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
In March 2013 I went on JWsurvey by mistake. It was the first site I went on, then JWfacts, it was a domino effect after that
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
I have only missed 2 meetings, have I even left yet? It has been very difficult to get to this point, it's a long process, but I wanted to rip the bandaid off.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Dramtic. Many posters on JWN have helped me through the drama. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/266620/1/My-JC-meeting-Did-they-RI-me#.Upx-28RdW8A
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Still trying, many of my loved ones have contact with me. They seem to understand why I will not come back, but they hope I will.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
They improved, my kids and I are really close. We were anyway, that bond grows stronger each day, especially through trials. My parents told me I was joining a cult, turn out they were right. They are validated. I am free from a physically abusive husband. All in all family realtions have benefitted.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Some do shun and some do not
How long have you now been out?
I have missed 2 meetings. So that's 1 week, but mentally I learned TTATT, 10 months ago.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
No
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Helping any who are going through similar experiences, if I have? Teaching my kids TTATT. Learning Dawkin's is a fundamentalist LOL!
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
My loved ones
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
I had no option of the blue pill. I was never in fluffy land as a JW. There were red pills all over the place, so many who held positions were so dissmissive and unloving. John13.34,34 generated so much cognitive dissonance. When I swallowed the red pill, my CD went away. It was a relief to finally grasp what was going on. No regrets at all.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
Niether. I just believe in God
How do you now feel about religion in general?
It is man made to control women and the vulnerable
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
Our first time this year. My daughter has bought lots of pressies already, my mum and dad are Jewish, so they haven't ever really celebrated. My son's b-day is on next to xmas day, so I don't really like that. We used to have bouncy castle parties in the summer. I will see how it goes and enjoy the ride where the kids want to take it. It's their choice now, I will let them think for themselves.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Yes, Honeybee who posts here and more planned. cantleave and nugget over Christmas. I talk to Jane on the phone loads, sometimes everyday. She is really supportive. So is Angus too.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Locally my JW friends who do not shun. My JWN electronic friends. Cedars, is a good friend too.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
I have only missed two meetings. It's not really my past yet.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Pity, so much pity. Even if I have never met them, my heart goes out to them stuck in a destructive cult. Pity.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
If my JC comes a knocking I will record what they say. No one has ever knocked in over a year. If any come a knocking I will give them a drink and have a good old chit chat with them. I think I am a DNC
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Both. 100 % both. But I wm not sure if I would go to a DC with a bill board, but I might if there were a few of us. Thing is though I am not an apostate, a JW might think I was.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
It depends on the individual, and their circumstances. Having this site is good for me, cofty's approach with me is great, he shows concern but gets me involved with debating, he is doing well in deprgramming me from a lot of WT fallacies. Eric, Paul Grundy's and Cedar's approach was good for me too. Angus and Jane giving me their number is a huge help. The more approaches there are available the better IMO
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
It should be destroyed, it's shelf life is limited now IMO, people are popping like pop corn now.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Yes
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
Yes my contrlling husband, became more controlling. I gave up my career as a chemical analyst to pioneer. I am still looking for work now to no avail.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
I don't know, I can't measure it. My daugher is 21, never taken drugs, smoked was not sexually promiscuous. The opposite to me. Did I teach her morals or was it her JW upbringing? She got beaten by my ex, that was a curse.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
1000 posts on JWN, in six weeks. I was pioneering when I got Df'd, so I have too much time.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Yes, I need to know what my son is being indoctrinated with. But I have missed two meetings and did not prepare for the first time since I can remember. It was liberating. So I have resolved to have a break from WT nonsense for a couple of months
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
My wholoe balsted life. I need to get a life.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Some are bitter apostates, many are caring moral member's of this community who are here to help. Others are very damaged and need support.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Absolutely
Do you fear the future?
Yes, my son has been damaged so badly, I don't knoe if it is JW, ASD or Social worker related. I fear how he will turn out, I fear for his future. I fear my daughter will not find affordable housing. I fear poiliticians cannot resolve the debt the UK is in. I don't believe God cares about suffering, I fear I have not safety net. I fear losing my parents. Yes I fear the future a lot.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Make a plan and take control.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Listen to my mum and dad, when they told me i was joining a cult
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
No
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
Only on JWN really.
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"