Trigger Words.. Help

Sassy

Lady Lee had a post a while back about trigger words.. Tonight I feel the effects of them and can't shake the feeling. I've been tossing and turning all night, woke up in a dream that was intertwined with reality. Before I went to bed tonight I read an email from my mother. We don't talk any more since my decision to leave the WTS but occasionally I get a brief info email if she has been sick, etc. It's usually colder than the past and I have accepted it fine. Tonight her email ended with Don't lose out on everlasting life. I was happy to hear from her until I got to that last sentence. those two words. everlasting life.. I closed the email account and shut off the pc..

but then woke up hours later tossing and turning in a dream about dealing with my mother.. and about dealing with those trigger words. My boyfriend doesn't understand what has me so upset.. and yet I don't understand either so how can I help him understand? I told him that I think I need to be deprogrammed or something... he said he didn't think so because I have made up my mind if I believe or not..

is it that simple?

I'm going crazy and my stomach is all in knots..

Gadget

Its not a case of still believing for me, but sometimes reading certain posts move me in the same way as you. It hurts me so much that an organisation has my parents and friends under mind control and I can't do anything to help them unless they see it for themselves, and when I read trigger words like you mentioned it reminds me of that.

(((((Sassy)))))

RAYZORBLADE

((Sassy)), yes it can still be troublesome. Afterall, it's words you know, the JW buzzwords/trigger words.

To be more or less told you are going to 'miss out on everlasting life', is not always the most sun-shiney thing to tell a former JW, moreso from a believing family member.

Not easy.

But think of this Sassy, at least....for what it is worth, you can come here and share and not feel like you have three heads and NO one understands: WE DO. We've been there, we know the buzzwords/trigger words.

Post JW, we process our departure differently.

It does get better with time Sassy, but counselling can be helpful.

It's important to talk about these things, and just saying it, for what it is worth, can help in the healing process.

I wish you well Sassy. I'm sure there'll be some excellent follow-ups.

Take care,
Rayzorblade

Sassy

Thanks Gadget and Razorblade.. it really bothers me that these words upset me so. Its funny because of course I never believed in hypnotism as a witness but part of me almost wishes I could erase from memory that I ever was a witness, erase those trigger words that make me sick to my stomach.

And your right Razorblade, it does help to come here to talk about it.. I don't have to explain to you guys these things that I don't even understand myself if i were to put it into words.. and yet you all can know. It does make this burden a little lighter.

LittleToe

"The Truth" p*sses me off no end, even when I hear it here. It was one of the first words I removed from my vocabulary.

It genuinely sends a shiver down my spine.

Guest 77

Sassy, believe you can, give yourself some time. You need to confront the issue head on, but with a POSITIVE approach. Trying to dismiss the issue will only resurface and then it starts all over again.

I've had issues with my mom and I confrontd her head on a few times and it worked. If you have a good friend with 'dumbo' ears it will be of great help. Often times sharing your thoughts and feelings 'openly' goes along way.

As I said, you need to approach this problem with a positive attitude. Learn from it and it will serve as a source of strength for you in the long run. I'm speaking from experience. What you need to do is give yourself some time and slack. Things of this nature is not cured with a snap of the finger, let time do its work. Let time be your friend. Things will fall into [place.

Guest 77

morty

(((((((((((((((((Sassy)))))))))))))

Is it that simple? well, to others maybe,......but for those who are freshly out, I do think any kind of spiritual words,call make a toll on your day,night or week......they (Jws, or in this case, your mom) are still trying to brainwash you in every way they can...your mom is going to try her best to get you to come back, I mean lets face it, she does think that you not going to make it to the Great Paridise on Earth, right?...In her perspective, she thinks you have commited the ultimit sin....You turned your back on Jehobah....And in their twisted thinking, they figure if they treat you like shit , shun you, use so to speak trigger words and all that crappy stuff, this will make you feel better...I am sorry that you have to feel this pain, especially from your mom....She is suppose to be there for you, reguardless of what you do in your life.....You just have to keep telling yourself, it is not really your mom, it is the damn borg...having said this though,I do believe, that if it is eating at you that badly, and the support here or at home is not enough There are some really good coucellors (sp) out there that deal with cults.....not saying that this is what you need, it is just a thought...

The longer you are out, the easyer it becomes...Those words will not be as hard to swallow the longer you are out.....Your mom knows, that you have not been out very long, and she relises that those words will play with your mind....

Chin up girl,You will get through this, it is just a small pot hole for you to over come.....Think about your freedom and happiness you really do have now,your new home, your b/f......again, sorry about your pain you have to face with your mom......Thinking about you today Sassy,

Morty

blondie

The thought of living forever with most of the people at the KH made me sick too. I finally realized I didn't have to live forever with them, I didn't even have to be around them now. Yay, I left, I'm gone, my memory of them is fading, I find I can't remember their names. It's like leaving an abusive marriage, because it was an abusive situation too, Sassy.

I hate "the truth" too, LT.

Blondie

Sunnygal41

My boyfriend doesn't understand what has me so upset.. and yet I don't understand either so how can I help him understand? I told him that I think I need to be deprogrammed or something... he said he didn't think so because I have made up my mind if I believe or not..

Sassy, no, hon, it isn't that easy. <sigh> I can't tell you how often a person of the male persuasion has said these things to me............I think part of it is that guys have an ability to compartmentalize their emotions from logic easier than most women. I'm not saying all, but, in my experience, I had both my ex and my present boyfriend say that to me. I've been out for almost 5 years now, and just recently became VERY active on this board posting, etc. Since then, I've had numerous dreams about being still married to the ex, still in the Dubs, etc............all the old feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are there in my dreams..........I'm being triggered by participating on the board............however, I think that it is a good thing! I also know that if I feel the need to seek some professional help I will, no matter what the boyfriend says. I have gotten to the point where I have enough strength emotionally and mentally now, that I can make healthy choices for myself. I don't need the validation of my husband or boyfriend, like I used to. Do not feel like there is something wrong with your need to get some help or reach out in any way. These feelings, etc. are totally normal for a healthy mind to have! You are getting healthier! Please, feel free to pm me or email me at [email protected]!!! I'm here to listen or talk if you need to!

Love and big warm hugs,

Terri

Sassy

It's funny but I still say the 'truth' but only for terms of reference when talking here or to a past JW in chat.. when talking to my bf or anyone else never in.. it is 'that religion".. lol. I need to drop the 'truth' term altogether..

I get a kick out of your statement Blondie about not wanting to live forever with some of them at the KH. Isnt' that the truth!

Guest 77, I have been trying to approach all of this head on.. except dealing with the elders, I haven't done that officially at all.. but I have been honest with family and friends. I knew it wouldn't be easy for it wouldn't be things they wanted to hear. I'm not sure how to take it in a positive way as I deal with them, even though I know in the big picture it is a positive thing for me..

Sunnygal, thanks for your encouragement.. I feel like my bf must think I am nuts sometimes.. Maybe I shouldn't always tell him what is tearing me up inside.. he is such an awesome guy and I fear he is going to think I am a nutcase and might think he should leave me.. don't get me wrong he doesn't act like that.. but I know he doesn't know what to do with me when I get upset about these JW stuff.. why it can't be easy to just quit and be done with it..

I feel like those words.. those trigger words are meant to snap us to attention.. back in line to obedience to the WTS. then I feel guilty for disobeying .. then I think.. wait... why should i feel guilty when I don't believe it is the true religion any way? then that is when I think something is wrong with me.. I know I shouldn't.. I just dont' know how to rid myself of reacting internally when I hear certain things..

Trigger Words.. Help

Share this