Now that I'm out mentally - almost completely (can someone remind me of that mind control book so that I can buy it) - I'm in almost constant pain. Sleep at night is very hard. I'm now virtually exhausted on all counts, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I can't quite get my head around the level of mind-control and blindness both exerted and demonstrated among the devotees of this cult. My wife is 75% out. She's scared (as am I). I'm now fighting the apostates, but the apostates aren't the guys with horns that I was taught they were. The apostates are those WITHIN the org! They're the ones that have stood away from true Christian faith. I need to be free but at the moment it's extremely impossible to visualise how this is going to happen. Job 1 - resign as an elder. That is going to be hard as I have no axe to grind with anyone or anything. I'm going to have to choose some reason to tell the elders I'm stepping down. Believe me, this is going to come out of the blue for them. A friend of mine who is mentally 100% out told me that he and his wife view my family as the 'poster family' for the org. He's still reeling from me being awakened. So, how are the BoE and the cong going to view it when I step down? How are family going to view it? Another thing that's causing pain is the realisation that I'll be viewed as 'weak' and 'lacking in spirituality' when the truth is I've never felt more spiritual or closer to God in my whole life. Why oh why oh why is it so hard?
The pain is almost unbearable
by passwordprotected 37 Replies latest members private
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Hope4Others
Combatting Mind Control by Steve Hassan.....
h4o
Its harder because you are partly in still, until you make a total break it will be difficult...glad to here your wife is with you here...
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passwordprotected
Thanks.
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oneairhead
Hnag in there it does get easier, but the transition is difficult. They call it a fade because it happens gradually. Remember, they are the blind ones, most know not what they are doing. You will get to a place where what they think does not matter to you because you realize they are controlled by an organization.
One
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AudeSapere
the truth is I've never felt more spiritual or closer to God in my whole life.
This realization was so important to me when I first stopped going to meetings. Unfortunately, I still believed the org would eventually come around and make things right.
Boy was wrong about that part, but I dead on about recognizing that the WTS actually blocks true spirituality amongst it's members.
-Aude.
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Satanus
There are different stages to exiting. They are similar to the stages involved in coming to grips w losing a trusted mate, important job, etc. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model Go w the grief. It will pass. Your wife going w you will help a lot.
As far as stepping down, and the concomitant loss of prestige, i sympathize, i really do. If you don't want to face it head on, w the ensuing jc meetings and all that, perhaps you could fabricate a health problem story, move, or make up a sudden family or business problem as the reason for a step down. You could call it a temporary step down, for now, if you want.
Glad that you saw the truth about the truth. Have you seen the movie 'matrix'? I recommend it.
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mouthy
perhaps you could fabricate a health problem story, move, or make up a sudden family or business
Just remember the Organization is the one that taught us "we dont have to tell the truth to those who dont deserve it"
Look in the Aid To Bible Understanding "book page 1061 Under LIE!!!!
Second Pharagraph down 1061 "While malicious lying is definatly condemned in the bible,this does not mean that a person is under obligation to devulge truthful information to people who are not enitled to to it"
Are they entiled to know the truth????? Your truth????
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ataloa
Oh, I'm so sorry, password. I hadn't let myself think about that terrible pain for a long time now.
I remember a heart pain so intense and without letup; it continued every waking moment of my life, never giving me even a few seconds relief. I only slept a couple of hours a night. This went on for two solid years. Death would have been my friend.
I was coming from a different place mentally - I still thought Jehovah was with that organization and he was rejecting me. I had no one. You have a lot going for you; I'm sure you're going to heal much more quickly. Don't really know what to tell you. Just know that I have some understanding and really feel for you.
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restrangled
I'm going to have to choose some reason to tell the elders I'm stepping down. Believe me, this is going to come out of the blue for them
I was the daughter of an elder. How about the human limitations aspect? I saw my father exhausted for years and he continued to carry on till he literally lost it between the stress of trying to keep up appearances and knowing better about the society's teachings. He did not have support from my mother and eventually started drowning himself in booze to keep going.
Do yourself a favor......
You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else, and right now you and your wife are the most important. So everyone will be shocked, so what? You are human.
Take care.
r.
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New light for you
password protected... I'm so sorry for your pain. Please keep in mind, that most all of us here are in some stage of this, so we are really good at supporting, understanding, and listening. This is the HARDEST thing we'll ever go thru. So much more than losing someone in death, divorce etc. This is finding out your life was a sham, and you've been lied to. THEN, having NO way to leave. IT's horrible, i'm in the middle of that right now, and i understand. If you wife is 75% out, i would recommend this book... "Awakening of a Jehovahs witness" by Diane Wilson. It was so much more helpful for me than the "cult mind control" and "coc". granted, "crisis of conscience" must be read so you're always sure in your heart that you have all the facts and are making the right decision, but i found "awakening" to reach me on a more "girly" level. it's her story, and I think as a "Story" it would appeal to women more. It hit me with things that made me SO sure. Like how many times and for how many years women were DFed for being raped... you CANT tell me that's Gods organization. I'm sorry you have to step down, it's going to be horribly hard. Remember all the possibilites that await you in your "new life" if you can now leave the lies. Best regards, NewLight