The thin line between too many drugs and insanity- my life this week:

by misanthropic 27 Replies latest members private

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    I've mentioned my little brother a few times on here before. My parents kicked him out when he was 15 and he moved in with me yada, yada, yada. We've always been pretty close no matter what but lately especially over the last year things have been very different. He'd gotten married (when they both were just 18) and I always got along great with his wife so that was never a problem, they have their own condo they bought awhile back and I would see them occasionally when they would come for dinner or just to hang out. They've always done drugs, my brother did drugs when he was just 12 or 13 before I'd ever tried anything but he mostly smoked marajuana. That was not a problem at all for me to deal with because it never made him into this weird person I've come to not even recognize anymore. The problem began when they started heavily using Methamphetamines on a regular basis and acting insane and sketchy. In fact anytime they've been around lately it makes me very glad I haven't touched drugs in a long time. I don't think drugs ruin everyones life but I do know that some people should just never do drugs.

    Anyway I'll just get to the point because this is what's been happening lately and I just feel like I can't deal with it anymore. They bought a new laptop (about 6 months ago) and had no one to help them set it up, so I had someone I know do it for a favor to me. This person I know had better things to do and didn't want to even deal with them because he knows they're weird lately. That plus the fact that the past few times he was here when they came around, they both came over completely intoxicated and acting like a couple of jerks and I had to beg him not to harm my brother (though Lord knows he would have deserved it). But this person to be nice to me decided to help out and get their laptop all set up.

    So months go by, I'm at my friends birthday party on Sunday and I check my email. There is this insane email from my brother saying he suspects that I had this person install things on their machine that they didn't want on there. Insinuating I'm somehow logging onto their laptop whenever they are using it to watch them. OK, so I'm fuming after reading this email but I try to remain calm because I feel that they obviously are just really high and insane and being paranoid (as usual because believe me there have been other things but I'm trying to not go off topic here). I decide to leave this party and go out back and just call them to see what in Gods name they're talking about. I get my brothers wife on the phone and she is describing the events log. She is sitting there high (at this point I'm hoping they're still high, otherwise I would be much more concerned about their mental state) just waching the events log and tells me (get this) there is a "user 32" trying to log onto their machine everytime they get on their computer! I laugh knowing that's a DLL file for windows and explain this to her but she's just not convinced. They've been getting "hacked for weeks" and this "hacker" is nice enough to make a box appear to let them know he's on their screen, sheesh- anyone that knows computers will understand how absurd this is.

    So I ask her then (since she isn't comprehending my explanation that makes complete sense) if she's connected to the internet when this happens and if she has dial up or cable. She informs me they have cable but they are never connected when she notices this hacker is getting on their machine. Which is completely impossible so I tell her that and she informs me this "hacker" (which is her way to try not to offend me saying it's this person I had help them set up their computer or me) is much smarter than that and can connect and hack their computer without them even being online at all. At this point I realize there is nothing I can do to convince them otherwise. I just tell her that if they really think this then they need to wipe their machine completely and just reinstall all the operating disks that came with the computer. I offer to do it myself knowing there's no way she will take me up on it because Lord knows I might just install all my spying technologies again (my attempt at sarcasm). Anyway she then tells me she has done that and what they have had to deal with over these many months has really just taken a toll because this "person" has taken over their machine and they just want it to be theirs again- apparently even after they wiped their drive (which is also completely inpossible if they REALLY wiped their drive) this evil User 32 is still sneaking on their machine spying on their every move.... They had even called tech support many times (those poor bastards at tech support- I'm sure they don't get paid enough for some of the crap they have to deal with). But tech support was unable to help them get free of this incredible hacker that can hack their machine even when they aren't connected to the internet *rolling eyes*.

    Anyway I have this guy who did their set up call them and he got nowhere, decided all my family is still completely off their rockers and didn't want to ever have to see a single one of them for the rest of his life (hopefully aside from me, that has yet to be discerned). Who can blame him?

    Anyway after getting nowhere with them I just sent out a quick email Sunday night (because it was really bothering me still) saying:

    Honestly, XXXXXXX and I were talking about this because I was at their house when I got your email and called you. What do you think happened? What exactly are you accusing me of doing, what are you thinking I would gain from putting something like that on your laptop? I really feel hurt that you would say I would put something on your computer for whatever reason to jack up your computer? and I just can't for the life of me understand what you think I could possibly gain from doing that, so if you could please enlighten me.


    I hear nothing for days but then he emails me today saying he feels I've known about this all along and they just don't understand why I'm doing this to them along with some other really rude, incredibly hurtful things he threw in there. So I sent him this email and I've seriously just had enough.

    Jxxxxx- seriously I think you're insane. Take your computer in somewhere and have them look at it, the things you say are happening are part of the operating system. Neither xxxxxxx nor I have done anything to your machine we have much better things to do than whatever it is you think we've done- still I have no freaking clue what it is you think I could possibly gain from that. I want nothing to do with you anymore, you have been acting sketchy and weird for awhile and I hate to say but I don't think I want you around I've done nothing but try and take you in under my wing when you had no where to go, buy you your first car and help you out when you had no one and THIS is what I get?! Believe what you want- replace your hard drive and you'll see it's the operating system. Hopefully when you realize that you'll stop the drugs, there comes a point where you've just done way too many...



    I sent it when I was really mad and I might have been too brash and not sensitive to whatever they're going through but seriously I just feel tired of being everyone's doormat. I'm tired of being the supportive one when it's convenient and then the bad guy in their heads all the rest of the tiime. I just can't deal with it anymore. I feel awful because this is me basically turning my back on him when he needs help the most but I just can't do it, not this time. I just don't know who he is anymore...

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Sorry for your problems but imho it's insane to even try to communicate with a person who is high. You are wise to be done with them. Dopers are loosers.

  • noni1974
    noni1974

    Wow Mis I'm so sorry.I wish I could help you.Tell your brother to stay away from you till he and his wife are clean.Drug users are really bad for your life.I know I have a friend who used Crack Cocain in my house and stole from me.Thank goodness she's clean now and lives a state away.She was way to much to deal with.I think of her as my sister and even call her my sister but I can't deal with her while she's getting high.She's been clean for about 3 years now and holding a steady job and get her kids back from DCFS after losing them 4 years ago due to her drug addiction.I didn't know she was getting high till the end because she didn't do it in front of me till then.By that time she didn't care who she hurt or what she did.

    I kicked her out when I found out what she was doing.Not to mention she never worked the whole year she lived with me.Oh yeah I forgot to mention I let her move in with me after she showed up on my door step after a 3 or 4 year absence.She had no where else to go.

    I recently ran into an ex bf from 4 years ago.When I knew him he drank way to much but that was all he did.When I saw him again he asked me if I wanted to do Coke with him.I was shocked and said no I don't do that shit.He's probally wondering why I don't answer my phone.I won't and can't have people in my life who do drugs.I don't care how I feel about them.I take my own mental health seriously.I have no choice but to look after myself first and everyone else is second family or not.

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic
    Dopers are loosers.


    You know I used to argue this point but as time's gone by I have had a serious change of heart.

    Yeah Noni thanks for your comments, I guess it is something that effects lots of people. You're a sweetheart- I know you'd help me if you could. I'd tell my brother that but honestly he doesn't think he has a problem. I've tried to talk to him until I'm blue in the face and there are just so many other aspects involved with him. He actually owns several guns which scares the hell out of me because I've laid awake at night wondering what I'd do if he decided to break into my place. Sometimes dealing with all of this has me questioning my own sanity.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Circle the wagons and protect yourself misanthropic.

    I know he's your blood, but when the meth starts talking, he's not your brother anymore. You've pretty much said that already.

    Think like a tweeker for a minute and try to see where he might try using you. Then patch up any "holes" in your defenses, whether they are literal or emotional.

    That's the "good advice" part of my brain.

    I know he's your brother and following through on this may be very hard.

    Open Mind

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC
    I don't think drugs ruin everyones life but I do know that some people should just never do drugs.

    Exactly, and the people whose lives drugs do ruin turn into gross monstrocities of their former self.

    *hits close to home class*

    (((misA)))

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    Thanks both of you for your comments- you have no idea how much it helps... I seriously understand the saying "drive me to drink" though that's just an excuse I know but still It's taking me there.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    Don't feel bad. I had the same problem with my brother when he got heavily into coke. I let him stay with me when his JW wife, friends and family would not even look at him.

    He ended up stealing from me and my hubby, lieing to us and using us. As soon as we cut him loose because he wouldn't go into rehab, the JW's took him back because he started going to the hall again. You know how they are, go to the meetings and you are A OK again!

    So I know how you feel, but sometimes tough love is the only way. You have to set boundaries for yourself and make others take notice of your boundaries!

    (((((((((((((((((((((((mis))))))))))))))))))))))

    nj

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Geez, what a sticky situation. Some people don't deserve favors. Good you communicated frankly, they need to wake the hell up.

    I've been a favor-giver to ungrateful people before, and it sucks. One of the hardest things I've learned to do is say "NO" and set some boundaries. I'm to the point where I don't have time and resources to waste. (I get to practice saying "no" to bums on the street about once a week, they always show up downtown at night close to where I work.)

    I find that when I say NO to people asking things that I don't feel it best to give, they somehow survive without my "generosity".

    I'd rather give to those who will appreciate it.

  • avishai
    avishai

    ((((Mis)))

    Meth induced paranoia is REALLY hard to deal with. Your letter was fine, and might ding that little sane bell in the back of their brain.

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