I've mentioned the "WHATEVER!!!" LIST concept in some of my previous posts, but I'm dedicating this thread to it and I'd like any input on the pros & cons of approaching it this way.
FYI: Family snapshot: Me & wife still very active JWs with kids. She's 99% JW loyal, with a bit of a stubborn, independent streak that is my only hope. We're both 3rd gen dubs with extended family tentacles all over the place.
Here's the concept. (BTW, I apologize for the long-windedness, but I want you to get a real flavor for how it comes across in our home.)
As our kids get older, questions invariably arise about the various problems, inconsistencies, doctrinal conundrums, unhealthy sacrifices and hassles of growing up in the wacked-out, nightmare world of "Watchtower Wonderland".
The questions range from big ones like:
Is our loving God Jehovah really going to wipe out millions of babies & toddlers at Armageddon? (Never mind those over 3 yrs old, they're gettin' what they deserve anyway. Nasty old pagan worldings! )
To relatively minor irritations:
Heres a couple from my daughters: Why can't I get a really, tiny-tiny, small, disrete nose stud? I think that's what they're called??? You know the kind that just look like a small diamond or ruby sitting on the outside of the nose. In our area, those are viewed as no big deal by "Satan's world" but of course are taboo in "Watchtower Wonderland" and anyone with one wouldn't get any kind of "exemplary" privileges and probably wouldn't be even allowed to give a talk on the TMS.
or,
Why can't girls carry a microphone? (Well, you know the microphones are actually phallic symbols and therefore only brothers can carry them. Tee hee. )
Anyway, when things like this come up I'll usually spout the "official company line" in the most boring, non-convincing way possible. If my wife is present, I'l do a slightly better job. Then I'll pull out the "Whatever List" concept.
"You know, if a person is honest with themselves, there are things in the Truth that are going to bug you. Maybe things you don't like or don't really agree with right now. But you have to ask yourself, am I going to walk away from the Truth over this? Or, am I going to just add it to my "Whatever!!" List? Some people, as they get older, finally decide that the list has gotten too long and that the Truth just isn't for them. But for now, just add it to the list."
Many of you readers will recognize this as a slight variation of the "Wait on Jehovah" speech you may have been subjected to as a child. In fact, I used to call the list the "Wait on Jehovah" List. Then I started calling it the "Whatever!!" List with my oldest child. And recently, I called it the "Whatever!!" List in front of the whole family and it didn't seem to freak out my wife too badly. Although, she did mention to me later that we need to be careful not to sow seeds of rebellion and disrespect for the Organization in the kids. So I've still got to tread very lightly here.
One thing I like about this strategy is, while it encourages open dialogue with the kids, and lets them vent, I think it's still pretty safe from Borg scrutiny. While I wouldn't want to shout it from the rooftops, I think it could pass the scrutiny of Gestapo elders if it ever got back to them. I could just say I'm being a good dub-Dad and training my kids to "Wait on Jehovah".
So, what do you think? I'd like opinions on the whole "Whatever!" List concept. Pros. Cons. Additions. Deletions. Cautions. Whatever you've got, throw it out there.
Thanks,
Open Mind