by Odrade 66 Replies latest members private
Excellent letter. Marking it to keep. I loved the paragraph about not being able to have normal relationships and talking about the weather, etc........... how true.
I wish someone would compile a book of these types of letters for the public to see what really happens when one leaves the org.
I dunno but any girl named XXXXX is good in my book!
My first thoughts when reading this thread (thinking it was just posted today), was don't fall into her trap. Do not reply. You have done a very successful fade Odrade. The difference in your life while fading, even though you are often left out, verses officially leaving or being PUT-OUT is still very dramatic. Completely shunned, labeled, judged as wicked etc etc is no walk in the park.
I would probably just be content to let things remain since you have so much family still in. Once you send the letter, you are on your way OUT OF THEIR LIVES FOR GOOD.
This was the portion of her letter I found to be pretty pathetic:
"Then one by one the majority left. Was there someone or persons that poisoned their minds against all these things and turned them against their families? That they could turn and walk away from the hundreds of people who loved them so much is puzzling."
Of course "someone or persons" had to DO IT TO THEM. It could never be because they made their own educated, intelligent, carefully thought out decisions.
That is not even possible!
Sorry you have to go through all this.
Even if she asks again directly; I'd try to get her to commit to keeping it between the two of you exclusively. This way when she does tell the elders, she will have to live with the betrayal thing too.
Which could at some point only help your cause.
I think at one point I agreed with you, Vinny... let sleeping dogs lie. But that dog doesn't have much of a bite anymore. If she did run to the elders the only impact it would have on my life is her. And that is her choice. I haven't a single friend left in the WT, and live in a metropolitan area, so rarely run into old JW acquaintances. Last summer I had a lengthy talk with an elder, (ran into him at the camera shop and "chatted" for about 90 minutes. There was NO doubt of my anti-JW feelings after that conversation,) and it had no impact on my daily life. My parents and my brother are the only ones of my immediate family that are JW, and my brother has said that he will now never shun me.
My dad, he will do what is right, no matter if is WT doctrine or not.
The line in the sand is my mother's, and I can choose to cross it or not, without getting too worked up over it. It's kind of a nice place to be. Don't get me wrong, I still HATE her religion, but it was her choice to make.
I'm kind of in the same mental space as you Odrade.
I am lucky - my parents have not drawn a line, but if one was to - it would be Mom. However, the more conversations I have with her as an adult - the more I think she values our relationship and doesn't want to jeopardize it. So we also have come to a don't ask don't tell policy. Is it strained, sometimes? Yes - but while they are not crazy fanatacial JW's I know nothing I can say will ever get them to leave the JW's. I'm not even sure I want that for them...but they hint that they want to know why I left - my father brings up every now and again how sad he is to not have his children in the "truth" - but as Juni said - it's never malicious or an attempt to guilt me, I really believe he is just genuinely sad. Does it bug me - of course. Much like Odrade I wish they could see me as more as a deadman walking - and at times they forget themselves and do - but it's always there underlying it. Which is why I dread that one day they may want to have it out. For now I am thankful they don't. And it is no great joy for me to "lay it out for them" - I have no desire for that kind of drama being self-inflicted if at all possible.
It's just comforting to know we're in the same boat with some other people.
Damnit, I get to almost the end of this before I realized it was last year! ANd I'm pissed it was never mailed... damn it! Damn it! I'll never get to know what happened, damn it! Cause "it" never happened! Damn it!
THis is the maddest I've been since being a member of this site! LOL!
Ha! I guess I'm a little pissed I never sent it. I was all ready to BUST SOMEONE'S CHOPS! LMAO!
