How long did it take for you to realize it wasn't the truth?

by freedom96 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  freedom96

  So many of us, so many reasons we left or were kicked out. From that point, how long did it take for you to not feel guilty about things and realize that the WTS is NOT the "truth" as they always claim and that they have no say in whatever happens to us later.

  For me, it was a slow fade. Not so much because I was determind to leave it; it was basically laziness in that regard. I did not feel like going to the meetings, or out in service.

  After a few years, I realized that the things that I wanted out of life did not include the Watchtower, and that some of my biggest role models were not witnesses, but led a great life, many of which were very Godly in their actions, not because they took the bible and thumped on doors.

  For me, I would say it finally occured to me that in no way shape or form the WTS had the truth in the mid 90's.

  I would say that even from that point it still took a few years to get out all the doubt. At this point, there is no doubt. The WTS does not have it all figured out, and my relationship will be direct with God, not some man made organization.
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  cat1759

  It took years. I am still learning but I feel now it had a pagan start and then they go on to put the pagans in a negative light.

  Cathy
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  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  I wasn't raised in the borg so it took me a while to learn the tactics and hypocracy of the WTS.

  For me it was a gradual realization for about 7 years. Noticing the lack of love, the gossiping, the self-righteousness, the judgements, the condeming, the shunning, etc, etc.

  But the crunch came when my child was abused by a dub and eventually I got df'ed for warning some of the mothers to watch their children around the pedo. Then I saw how corrupt elders can get false witnesses to tell twisted stories. I also experienced 1st hand the lack of love and mercy.........there is nothing in that borg that has to do with Christ or goodness.

  So after being humiliated and emotionally abused by the elders, and then seeing how the ones at the top do nothing to help the sheep but cover for the elders...............I started to fade because meetings became a source of frustration and the more I heard the more anger developed in me.

  After being a fader for many months and meeting sooooooo many people here that have had similair experiences, I found it easy to say 'it wasn't the truth'.

  It took time to understand what was going on, it took time to see things for what they were, it took time to become deprogrammed, but the most important was it took time to trust myself and have confidence in my own abilities again.

  I also had the advantage of having a thinking husband who was patient with me and gently gave me the information, slowly, bit by bit, until I could handle it.

  I'll never look back..............it's all in front of me now.

  Bliss.
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  Inquiry

  I felt guilt/fear before I clicked the link (European Commission of Human Rights), after I clicked the link, It wasn't guilt that I was feeling. I was angry/upset.

  I didn't do a slow fade. It took about 3 months for me to get over the fear of the WT tactics, ie: expulsion, shunning, manipulation of the facts, wasted life, harm to child, etc.... but I was right in the thick of it while I did that. (I did a TV interview, and I can tell you, it throws you into the fire pretty quick so I had to deal with a lot in a very short period of time)... I'm grateful for that though.... An individual can suffer a lot and for a long time over those things and the witnesses, rank and file as well as those that lead them are pretty quick and very efficient on the attack. The phone calls, and there were tons... the tactics, the accusations and the rediculous pettiness is a lot to stand up to.

  I got through it. I knew I wasn't dealing with faith anymore, just those who broker it for profit. Once I had that in hand, it was a matter of stepping through it. The support I received was the best part. Phone calls from people all over north america and europe, and DBs just like this one helped me to know and feel I was not alone. People checked in to see if I was alright. It helped me to know that there was another better, healthier side and I was on the right track.

  After the three months, it was a matter of checking what I beleived and why, and throwing away what didn't work for me. That was a longer process, and in a way, I am still in that process. Not nearly as intensely as I was. I can see life-long effects from having any involvement whatsoever to do with a cult. That's the reason I find myself always coming back to this DB. I have the ability to share this with those that understand the experience.

  I did lose some things though, I lost my innocence, I lost my naivity, and my ability to trust. I lost my rose coloured glasses, and for a time, I lost joy. I got joy back though, my son and nature, humour and knowledge give that to me. I can live without my innocence and my naivity, and to a great extent, I can live without trust... still workin on that one... I refuse to live without joy.

  I guess what I'm trying to say is that, whatever way it happens, it's a long haul. It has trials and pain but it has it's rewards too. I am free now, to the extent that anyone really is free, and life and my perception of it is based more in the here and now rather that in some distant, vague promise. I'm free from fear to explore it and enjoy all of it's wonders and mysteries, without restriction. And I'm much more comfortable with exposure. So now, I set the limitations in my life. No person or organization will ever do that to me again.

  *Theme of rocky playing in the background*

  Just my two...

  Inq
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  admiral_palsey

  Suprisingly, it happened for me in about one day! I had been in the organization from 1980 and got baptized in 86. Being in the watchtower, I always felt I was not doing enough to make it thru Armageddon. One day I just decided to look up all the 'critical' information I could find on the internet to see what they had to say. It was the first time I really had an open mind toward anything critical of the watchtower. I had believed I would never make it to the paradise earth anyway, so I though it didn't matter that I was doing this. Wow, it was like an awakening and freedom all at once. If it weren't for the internet I'd still be in the watchtower. Also, I have to give credit to sites like H20 and this site.
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  Ariell

  Ever since I was a little girl I always wished it wasn't the truth, but believed it was. I had my first doubt when I was twelve in 1995-the generation change, but like most Witnesses with doubts I ignored them and only focused on what made sense and seemed right. I'm still in, but my mind is out.
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  Mystery

  When I looked into the eyes of a friend of mine and all he wanted to do was to talk to someone and I turned my back on him. He was DF'ed.

  If shunning was right; why did my entire heart feel like it was tearing into.

  Even if it was the truth - i wanted no part of this God. I was 14.
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  coffee_black

  There were several things over about a decade that raised my antenna. I knew once I started researching those issues, I would have to make some serious decisions. I put that off as long as I could. I was raised in the org., and it's all I ever knew. Once I started researching, it took about a year and a half before I made the final decision. I only sent in a da letter because they started to come after me. I hadn't been to a meeting in over a year by then, nor had I been out in service in over 3 years. I was doing a pretty good slow fade until someone reported that my son had been to a birthday party.

  Coffee
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  pamkw

  I tried for years to hang on, because I didn't know there was anything else. But being pushed around by men just because I was a woman really ticked me off. The elders even had a 'brother' study with my son because I was a woman, and he needed a role model. Yuck! Finally out of loneliness I married a non-jw. and stopped going to meetings. I got the internet in 98 but it took me a year to look up exjws. And I only did it because my mom was laying so much guilt on me for killing her grandchildren. Then I found out about the generation change, and saw I do not need to be guilty, I am not killing my children.But all together it took about 4 years of not going before I decided I would never return.

  Pam
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  gumby

  From that point, how long did it take for you to not feel guilty about things and realize that the WTS is NOT the "truth

  Realising the watchtower is not the truth does not (itself), remove guilt.

  Even though a person may feel there is no doubt that the borg is bogus.........guilt can still grip a person badly.Years of indoctrination and habits do not dissappear for years with some, and for others......they never seem to go away.

  I realised the truth for what it was a few chapters into Crisis of Conscience, as that book led me into a perspective I was unwilling to consider before.Even though I was convinced the borg was not the truth.........many things haunted me for many years.

  Gumby