"Armageddon Survival Classes"

by Bonnie_Clyde 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Bonnie_Clyde
    Bonnie_Clyde

    Amazing how much closer I listen to the meetings than I used to.

    Today's visiting speaker in his final prayer referred to the meetings as "Armageddon Survival Classes."

  • carla
    carla

    Armageddon Survival Classes"--Really? Anybody else hear this at the meetings?

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Is this where JWs learn how to make Grub Worm Stew?

  • blondie
    blondie

    That means that people who don't go to the meetings will not survive Armageddon..................

    Do you think the early Christians considered their gatherings, "time of the end" survival classes?

    Do you think they were identified as Christians or Jehovah's Witnesses?

    ***

    w99 12/1 p. 18 Be Happy Readers of the Book of Revelation ***
    If we want to survive Armageddon, we must remain spiritually alert and keep the symbolic garments that identify us as faithful Witnesses of Jehovah God.
  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    I don't go to meetings, but I am surprised at nothing they do nowadays. They are getting desperate to keep the r&f's interest because so many are fading or leaving altogether.

  • Dune
    Dune

    Never heard that one.

    I'm always amused when i hear elders saying that regular meeting attendance is important because when the great tribulation strikes, we'll have to move from place to place and if you miss one meeting you'll never find the group again. lol.

    ASC101:

    Using "old light" literature start a makeshift fire.

    Proper use of the pages of the new world translation to keep warm during the winter.

    The need for body heat is NOT an excuse for fornication.

    how to make Grub Worm Stew
  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    I got a class to for him:

    To Door Knock is a Big Crock 101

  • geevee
    geevee

    In 1974, I was in a small country congregation. We had this big city elder shift in. He came back from a visit to hi s home city and had a bright idea. That we should practise being persecuted, so we had our book study in a farm shed. At a prearranged time two brother would knock on the door and burst in to arrest us all. We had to then hide our literature, and make out we were there for a social.
    One guy even had torn the pages out of his study book and when the knock came promptly chewed and swallowed them. This went on for weeks, until someone [my mother] complained to the CO and he said it was a lot of rot.
    CRAZY......sounds like this guy would do well at armageddon survival class!!

  • Ariel84
    Ariel84
    The need for body heat is NOT an excuse for fornication.

    OH SH*T!

  • blondie
    blondie

    geevee, that reminds me of one brother who decided his group would practice d2d under persecution. Each person was given only 2 houses in each block and then had to walk to the next, changing to the jacket underneath and a different hat. He also had people just put old magazines under the doors blanketing a block and then going to another block 5 streets over...............insane. (This was the pre-1975 era)

    Blondie

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