A slave is obedient even to a cruel master?...

by cyber-sista 12 Replies latest watchtower scandals

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  cyber-sista

  Just recently sister X from the KH where I recently attended had another meeting with the elders there to try and help she and brother X with their abusive marital relationship. They are constantly meeting with the elders and have done so for many years over this and everything other decision they need to make in their lives. They are very "elder dependent" but their lives never seem to improve and in fact it just seems to go from bad to worse. Sister X claims that brother X is abusive and has been in all through their marriage of over 25 years. They were both witnesses when they married and sister X had no idea when she married brother X what kind of person he really was, but she has stuck it out all those years none-the-less because she is obeidient to Jehovah and the marriage arrangement. Sister X has given me many of the details of their realtionship over the years and it is quite a sad deal, yet the elders have always seemingly sided with brother X. A couple of years ago after brother X had been hitting on sister X she ran to the elders and they asked her "What did you do to make brother X hit you?" Of course any amateur pschologist would know this is not something you should say to a woman in her position. Anyway, this story goes on and on...Sister X still keeps in communication with me even though I am now "inactive" and probably concidered dangerous association, but I have always been a sympathizer with her and no one else in the congo wanted to hear her plight, (because as you know this is something you should not talk about to anyone else but the elders).
  

  Just recently she and brother X had another back room meeting with the elders. Sister X was again complaining about the abuse and brother X told the elders that his wife was not in subjection like she should be. The elders whipped out there bible and read sister X a scripture that made her feel just horrible...This is how she quoted it to me: "A slave should be obedient even to a cruel master."

  I was a witness for several years, but I don't remember this scripture in the bible. I haven't done any real indepth study into it--just don't have the heart for it right now, but this sounds off to me. Even if this is in the bible how improper and cruel it was to apply this to apply it to this sister's abusive marriage. Of course sister X was horrified that she is concidered a slave to her husband by the elders, though her husband felt quite satified by what the elders had said. Anybody ever hear this scripture before?

  Sad to day sister X is still being obedient to the word. After she tells me all this stuff she tries to "encourage" me to go back to the meetings because that is where Jehovah's spirit is. Then she tells me that what she has to do is to put her blinders on when she goes in there because of the things that go on at that KH with the elders and all--guess she is telling me I should do the same. Too late--got my eyes wipe open...
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  crinklestein

  So that just proves that they think Wives are slaves to the husbands. And logical thinking people like this religion because.....?
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  seeitallclearlynow

  Since the completely UNCHRISTIAN Jehovah's Witness Organization and its leadership stupidly cling to the Old Testament instead of embracing the Christianity of the New Testament, I submit that they should consider the following scripture also:

  Proverbs 12:10 - "The righteous one is caring for the soul of his domestic animal, but the mercies of the wicked ones are cruel." NWT

  So if one who is considered righteous in the eyes of the God of the Old Testament or Hebrew Scriptures is caring for the soul of even his domestic animal, then this same righteous one should also be expected to show compassion upon his human mate, even if she is wrongly considered his slave.
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  blondie

  The Awake is designed for public consumption but these brothers need to read what the WTS officially says about wife abuse. Obviously, these things are not being applied in this congregation. It shows how many elders handle abuse, blame the victim. Hopefully, this woman will seek out help first by hanging the elders with the WTS official public stance re abuse. Otherwise, find a support group in her area.

  11/8/2001 Awake Help for Battered Women/Correcting Misconceptions (page 8)

  Battered wives are responsible for their husband?s actions.

  Many batterers deny responsibility for their actions, claiming that their wives provoke them. Even some friends of the family may buy into the idea that the wife is difficult to deal with, so no wonder that her husband loses control now and then. But this amounts to blaming the victim and justifying the aggressor. Really, battered wives often make extraordinary efforts to pacify their husbands. Besides, beating one?s partner is never justified under any circumstances. The book The Batterer?A Psychological Profile states: "Men who are sent by the courts to treatment for wife assault are addicted to violence. They use it as a release from anger and depression, a way to take control and resolve conflicts, and a tension reducer. . . . Often, they can?t even acknowledge their role or take the problem seriously."

  Spouse abuse is a brazen violation of Bible principles. At Ephesians 4:29, 31, we read: "Let a rotten saying not proceed out of your mouth . . . Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you along with all badness."

  No husband who claims to be a follower of Christ can really say that he loves his wife if he abuses her. If he were to mistreat his wife, of what value would all his other good works be? A "smiter" does not qualify for special privileges in the Christian congregation. (1 Timothy 3:3; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3) Indeed, any professed Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to fits of anger can be disfellowshipped from the Christian congregation.?Galatians 5:19-21; 2 John 9, 10.
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  willyloman

  I sat in the back room with this sister and brother many, many times. Well, not THIS sister and brother, but you'd have a hard time telling them apart. What I learned is that no matter what you tell them, what scripture you read them, what admonition you lay down... they don't listen.

  This is a dysfunctional relationship and logic and reason are of no avail, at least not from amateurs and well wishers. Professional intervention by a trained psychologist is their only hope. Just talking scripture isn't going to do it. They need to be reached on an emotional level, which requires a professional road map.

  Towards the end of my sojourn as an elder, I was asked by a sister in a similar situation what she should do. I was speaking privately with her, and advised professional counseling. I said the elders meant well but lacked the necessary training to really help her and suggested she call a family counseling clinic. I believe she knew in her heart this is what she needed to do but no elder had suggested it. In fact, it had been discouraged. After this brief conversation, she walked away with her spirits lifted and a weight off her shoulders. She was clearly relieved to have some direction.

  I saw her several days later and asked how it was going. She had talked with the elder that conducted her book study and told him what she was planning to do, and he strongly advised against it! So, now, she and her husband were going to "read a Watchtower he gave us and talk things out." Of course, she never got help, she never got well, and the family is as dysfunctional as ever.
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  blondie

  You tried, willy. In the end, it is her decision, her responsibility

  Blondie
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  Satanus

  Is this it? Masochism, anyone?

  NRSV1pet2:

  18 Slaves, accept the authority of your masters with all deference, not only those who are kind and gentle but also those who are harsh.
  19 For it is a credit to you if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly.
  20 If you endure when you are beaten for doing wrong, what credit is that? But if you endure when you do right and suffer for it, you have God's approval.

  *** Rbi8 1 Peter 2:18-20 ***

  18

  Let house servants be in subjection to [their] owners with all [due] fear, not only to the good and reasonable, but also to those hard to please. 19 For if someone, because of conscience toward God, bears up under grievous things and suffers unjustly, this is an agreeable thing. 20 For what merit is there in it if, when YOU are sinning and being slapped, YOU endure it? But if, when YOU are doing good and YOU suffer, YOU endure it, this is a thing agreeable with God.
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  XQsThaiPoes

  So that just proves that they think Wives are slaves to the husbands. And logical thinking people like this religion because.....?

  And the Greeks that founded what you called logic and "thinking" didn't have slaves. Intelligence is not the problem.

  I hate it when I hear stories of elders just trying to get people out of their hair. Elders are not the busy bodies as the WTS makes them out to be. They don't care about the sister anymore she has went to them too many times. My parents have a horrible marriage same history and the elders have told them they are on their own. The watchtower advises separation but few people want to be separate and alone.

  If the tables where turned and she hit him the elders would react the same way it has nothing to do with women being slaves. That is just a canned response. My mom bit my dad and he needed stitches but the elders did nothing. Most people don?t realize how inert the elders are unless you question the watchtower, or get someone pregnant every thing else is no holds barred.
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  Pork Chop

  I've never heard that scripture applied to wives, and I suspect it never has been applied to wives in the literature. This is some nut case elder body that doesn't know what they're doing. I also agree with willy, some people just can't be helped, not even by professional couselors, unless the help is to just go ahead and get divorced. That's the only answer in some cases. In this particular case, since physical abuse is involved, she should call the police.
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  lilacs4everr

  This sounds so much like the story of my best friend. She told the elders repeatedly that she was abused, pointing out comments in the 11/8/01 Awake. The elders told her that Awake article was printed for people in the world, NOT those already Jehovah's witnesses! She was told it was a sin to talk to anyone about what he was doing to her, but his actions towards her were NOT a sin. He is still in fine standing despite the testimony of his adult children to the elders. The children saw the abuse for years, tried to physically and emotionally protect their mother, and were so fearful they contacted the police, but their testimony meant nothing to the elders. They were also told to shut their mouths or be punished. The subject of child abuse is common on this site, but I think spouse abuse is just as common, but not so publicized. Women are brain-washed by their mates and the elders into thinking the treatment they receive is part of being a submissive wife and they wouldn't want to displease Jehovah. IT NEEDS TO STOP !!!