Hi all, this site helped me wake up and a BIG thank you to all who participated. Just want to give you all an update of how things have changed (for the better). Pls excuse the long post...
I was a born in 3rd generation (on my mums side). I experienced a lot of unfair and harsh treatment from the elders and so-called spiritual jw's for many years which did not sit well with me, I knew there was something wrong with this religion. I wanted out but wasn't sure how I will go about making a life outside of this cult as all my friends were jw's. I pictured a very lonely life very few friends and no social life. I was also a carer for my mum for 15 years while managing to work f/time with no help from anyone. Due to this burden I was not able to marry (who would be willing to take that on). My mums health deteriorated to the point that I had no choice but to put her into a home (wheelchair bound and unable to get in or out of her chair). It broke my heart. One of my siblings is d'fd which was heatbreaking for my mum and caused a lot of disconnection within the family (my father is not in our life). Its the main reason I never physically left as I didn't want to cause her anymore heartbreak (my dad was abusive and an alcoholic - they divorced when I was a teenager but we still had major issues with him till he passed quite a few years ago). After she went into care, things went down hill for me and I pulled away from most of my friends just trying to deal with things. I was suicidal (again). A year later, I had reconnected with an old school friend, and at her birthday dinner, I met with another old school friend and she included me in her social life. She has become like family to me now, and her family (immediate & extended) have also taken me in (they have family overseas who are jw's and experienced shunning when the son was d/fd). I have met many people out in the 'world' and now have a very busy social life. As photo's appeared of me out partying on social media, my so-called jw friends turn their back on me. But I have gained many more accepting beautiful friends. I did all the things we were not allowed to do: getting drunk, smoking, birthdays, Christmas, dating 'worldly' guys, sex etc. The freedom to do what you want without judgement was exhilerating and times a little over whelming. I am in a really good place now and loving my new life. I bumped into so many ex-jw's I grew up with and it was heartbreaking to hear what they all went through after they left. These ones have now become some of my closest friends. My life couldn't better and I am living MY LIFE the way I WANT TO. I am finally happy. Again, thanks to all those on here as you all helped me when I was in a very dark place.