Hey guys, I hope you are all doing great. My husband and I joined this sight in the beginning of last year. Time flies. I think the last time I updated you was when my sister resigned from my business and opened a competing company. I'm not sure if I mentioned the 19page letter I typed to my parents stating my reasons with research why I no longer want to be a JW...
Last year ended with not much communication between my family and I. There would be the occasionaly sms. My last conversation with my sister was that we can talk about anything under the sun once I decide to come back. Soon after that she deleted my from Facebook.
It was my parents wedding anniversary on the 1st of February. I dreaded this coming but picked up the phone and phoned my parents to congratulate them. My mother was reasonable on the phone..but then my father wanted to speak to me. It didn't end well. I was accused of throwing them away, chasing money, following apostates ..they even came up with a theory that one of my husbands family members is an apostate and he/she is the reason I'm no longer a JW. My research and letter I sent them didn't seem to make an impression at all. After an hour conversation with my father and ending up in tears as I normally do ..nothing improved much.
They are convinced that I can't make my own decisions and some one mislead me. Although I convey over and over again that I want them in my life as long as they can accept me as I am without bringing religion in every time they speak to me they see me as the one not wanting to keep contact.
A few weeks after this phone call to my parents I get a phone call from my mother one morning. She was absolutely hesterical on the phone and crying so much that I could barely hear what she should..she kept repeating that I've thrown her away and that I've F*&^..-up her life and that she can't carry on like this. My mother never swears.. and then the phone. I frantically tried to call her back..(fearing that she might do something stupid). No answer. Eventually I got my aunt to go around to the house and check up on her. She was not well but didn't harm herself. My aunt found her shaking and about to shred my wedding picture.
After that my aunt and I had a long converstion. She is also a JW but has questions but are in the fearing and guilty stage of leaving. The part we all go through in the beginning. She keeps an eye on my parents for me and updates me regularly how they are doing. She went to the doctor to get my mother some medication as well as she wasn't coping with me no longer being a JW. I'm not DF'd.
I haven't seen my parents for a year and a half now. I miss them but do not have the energy to face them as it will just end up in an argument and trying to convince me to come back. I want them as part of my life and I hate it that they feel that I've thrown them away. I haven't spoken to my sister in about the same amount of time. Her contact with me is sending a message stating: Memorial is tonight or a link to the Watchtower website...
At this stage I'm not sure of my next step. I've been thinking of DA'ing myself. Maybe it will be easier for my family. I doesn't matter to me..the borg doesn't have control over me and I don't feel the need to answer to any of them. Maybe I should write my parents another email...
Any suggestions??
Flicka
PS Please ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes, this was written on impulse