I got a registered letter today.

by tnangel73 15 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  tnangel73

  I live here with my elderly parents. My Dad is in his seventies and my Mom is in her sixties. I don't really in a way consider them elderly, but I guess others perceive them that way. They wouldn't be able to make it alone without me living here with them.

  Anyway, when I got home from work today, I had a letter in with my other mail. It had a return address, but no name indicating who it came from. It was a registered letter. My Mom said my Dad signed for it. I knew when I saw it was a registered letter what it was going to be about. A JC meeting. I have been "inactive" since 1996. No elders have come to talk to me or have called in all that time. The only reason they now feel a need to do this is because I am pregnant, and single. No one where I work knows I was JW. Not one of my friends are JW's. Just because I made the mistake of getting baptized when I was a teenager is this happening.

  They had tried to "contact" me the letter says, but I have ignored them. Actually, I did talk to the elder who called the first time and when he asked if I would meet with "him," I had said yes. Then he said, "Ok, WE WILL see you Sunday. I was like, "Huh?" Thought you said YOU, wanted to talk to me. I told them to just do whatever it is they that had to do. Repeatedly. That was like 2 or 3 months ago. Then I guess they got too busy with the DC, and the CO's visit, that I was put on the backburner for awhile. My Dad actually told them, when they had approached them about talking to me, where they have been all this time and why it wasn't important to talk to me years ago but that it is now. It ticked me off when they upset him like that. He has heart problems. I respect my parent's beliefs, and they respect that I no longer go to meetings. It just makes me mad that now they want to do this because of "appearances." I am just wondering about DA'ing myself. I never did do it before because of my family ties and because I, personally, just thought it gave them "power." Like you still have to answer to them just because you changed your mind about something. Is DA'ing one's self worse to a JW then being DF'd? I know that my parents will still talk to me after either, so I am not worried about that.

  I am not going to their meeting. It's the same day as my baby shower. I am just considering writing my own registered letter.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  
  Tell them that your dentist gassed you and while you were out....

  Hey, that happened to a sister we knew. The elders did not believe her and dfed her. Later the dentist was arrested for gassing and raping his female patients. Do you think the elders apologized and reinstated her? No, they didn't.
• 

  kwintestal

  Sending them a registered letter of your own sounds good. Tell them if they do anything that would influence people to avoid talking to you in any way, you will sue them individually for defamation of character.

  It'll work.

  Kwin
• 

  Satanus

  How about getting a lawyer to send that letter w company letterhead, and to also advise the elders to send all future correspondence to the lawyer, not to you and not to your parents. It wouldn't cost too much for just one letter.

  S
• 

  tnangel73

  Very good suggestions. Much appreciation.
• 

  garybuss

  
  Pay an attorney to send them a letter. Make the letter rather threatening. They may back off.
• 

  Double Edge

  Sending them a registered letter of your own sounds good. Tell them if they do anything that would influence people to avoid talking to you in any way, you will sue them individually for defamation of character.

  Pay an attorney to send them a letter. Make the letter rather threatening. They may back off.

  I agree. Have the attorney consider the legal standpoint that you "contractually" became a member as a teenager, technically, too young to enter into a contract, therefore making it null and void.
• 

  Golden Girl

  
  I would ignore them..that would really get their goat.

  They are still trying to play the I am your boss game!

  Then I would request a restraining order to keep them from contacting me any longer..in person..by phone..or by mail of any kind!

  It's funny..I begged them to come and see hubby when he was dying..he was a loyal JW to the end..they were too busy redecorating the Assembly hall around the corner ( To impress the upcoming Overseer's visit) to take the time. When they were later asked about it ..they pointed the finger at another brother and said"I thought so-and so was visiting him"..and of course that was the answer the other JW gave also.. I know all about the "Back Burner"..except they ran out of time..hubby died ..

  Little lack of communication there?

  I would say you owe them nothing. No letter of resignation..nothing. Those are their rules..not yours. Unless you are still letting them tell you what to do and you feel intimidated by them..?

  Snoozy...
• 

  candidlynuts

  once they df you or you da yourself they will begin pressuring your parents to kick you out.

  so, be aggressive now if possible in just insisting they leave you alone.

  sorry this is happening after all this time and hope all goes well with your pregnancy and you have a happy healthy baby .
• 

  Mulan

  Sending them a registered letter of your own sounds good. Tell them if they do anything that would influence people to avoid talking to you in any way, you will sue them individually for defamation of character.

  Pay an attorney to send them a letter. Make the letter rather threatening. They may back off.

  I agree. Have the attorney consider the legal standpoint that you "contractually" became a member as a teenager, technically, too young to enter into a contract, therefore making it null and void.

  Well.............our niece did that and they announced she was disassociated at the next meeting, and said the letter and the way it was sent was clear that she no longer considered herself to be a JW.

  So be careful.