Memories of your JW Youth

by Nosferatu 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    After reading the responses to Amazing1914's recent post, I decided this would be a great thread to start. Please share some of your memories!

    When my mother first became a JW, I was very sporatic with meeting attendance. My father (the unbeliever) would get me to go to the meeting about every 2nd or 3rd Sunday. I begged to stay home, but my father believed in god, and thought that going to "church" was good for me. He never put a foot into any Kingdom Hall, so I can't blame him since he had no clue what happens there.

    I don't remember many of the beatings at the KH. I think I've blocked most of those out. I do remember one at an assembly when I was hauled downstairs where the bathrooms were. I was thoroughly embarassed with all the people going back and forth.

    Beatings at home were nasty. I'd get at least one a day whether it was for something I did or not. I recall New Years Day 1987 when I was beaten because my mother was mad at something else. That was the day when I knew something was wrong. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, but I knew something wasn't right.

    Anyway, up until I was five, I had holidays and Xmas. I remember my first JW party. I was in the same Kindergarden class as a kid named David. My mother took me to his house where there were other JW kids. It wasn't a birthday party but there was a cake of Noah's ark.

    One of the other parties I attended was a barbeque at some rich JW's house. I tried making friends with all the kids who were on three wheeler bikes. I asked for a turn and was told I would get one. I patiently waited for my turn to take one of these bikes out for a spin. It looked like fun as there was a path all the way around the huge house. When we were getting ready to leave, my turn came. I thought that was unfair.

    I'll never forget when I was 12, my father was getting dressed on a Thursday night. He told me "I should go to a meeting at least once." Shivers went down my spine. I knew my life was changing, and it scared me. After that point, I figured I should try to make an effort to be a good JW. Me and my father both studied with an elder. My mother was commended for bringing her entire family into the JW religion.

    As for friends in the KH, I had trouble making them despite making lots of attempts. I'd invite a bunch of JW kids over to watch movies which I rented with my own money, provide snacks (again my money) and we seemed to have a good time. It was only after my attempts that I'd hear about another "get together" in which every kid from the KH was invited.... except for me.

    It was only after the elder I was studying with pushed me into becoming an unbaptized publisher that I noticed something was wrong. I was becoming a salesman. I had no interest in being a salesman, as I was interested in fixing stuff. I was being pushed in the wrong direction.

    After that, I was being pushed into getting baptized around the age of 16. I simply responded that I will get baptized when I'm ready. Also around this time, my father threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't follow the JW religion. I went up to my room and broke down crying. It all didn't seem right.

    At the age of 17, I started getting depressed. I was having trouble dealing with my mother's abuse over the years. I figured I'd give the JWs one more shot and tried to take comfort in an elder about it. He ended up taking sides with my mother because she was more spiritual than me. From then on, I worked on my exit.

    In the summer of that same year, I brought my worldly girlfriend home while my parents were out and engaged in sexual activities. I was nervous and did a lousy performance. I was shit scared resulting from the JW indoctration.

    Around this time, the study with the elder fizzled out temporarily, and my mother thought it would be good if I studied with someone closer to my age. I was now 18 years old and wanted OUT. I rebelled heavily against the guy who was studying with me. I was filled with anger, and his shenanigans didn't help. He forced me to sit with him at the KH. He told me to throw out all my Led Zeppelin CDs. I got even by driving to the KH while he was waiting outside my house to pick me up for the meeting.

    Needless to say, the study fizzled out, my dad quit going, and I only attended one day of the Convention that summer. I attended my final meeting the next month, where I gave my last talk in the TMS. I got shitfaced at my cousin's place the next day.

    Being a youth in the JW religion sucked ass. I had no friends, and I was looked upon as the "weird guy". I couldn't fit in at the KH, and I couldn't fit in at school where I was beat up (daily in grade 7). I made the choice to live a double life so I could be accepted somewhere - in THE WORLD. I have many fond memories of High School when I was living a double life, but none as a JW.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    I try not to, makes me very angry, aaaaaaaaahhhhhh, back to anger management.

  • delilah
    delilah

    First off, (((((HUGS NOS))))))))))....when I was growing up, it was mom who was the spiritual leader in the house. Dad was always busy working, and when he was home, there was always an excuse as to why he couldn't go. I think now, looking back, he thought that he could survive the big "A" through my mother's faithfulness. I don't know, but in any case, I remember the meetings were always such a chore to get ready for, and to attend....I would sit in class, and gaze downtown, trying to come up with a good excuse for why I couldn't go to the meeting every Tuesday and Thursday. I could not have any "worldly association" and the kids at the KH were involved with their own little groups, so I did my own thing with friends at school. I lived a double life too, just not with the other witness kids. I always knew that one day, I'd break free of the controlling organization, and the parental control as well.( It just took me longer to break away from the parental control.) After being DF'd twice, and going back, I finally got the courage to say, "Enough", and stopped going. I am not raising my kids as JW's, thank goodness. They have more fun than I ever did, and no boring meetings....

    Delilah

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    I remember the jw days as ones of great social isolation more than anything else and then comes the sexual suppression in a puritanical environment, they were a dead loss. It's bad enough not having a sexual life but no social life....

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk
    It's bad enough not having a sexual life but no social life....

    Oh the memories. So well said !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Ellie
    Ellie

    I remember being about 7 years of age, my best friend at school had just had a birthday party which ofcourse, I wasn't allowed to attend, so I decided to have my own party, after all if t wasn't for a birthday it should've been alright.

    I told my mum all about it, she was one of these who never actually listened to her kids, would just say "yeah ok" and carry on with what ever she was doing.

    So I invited all the other kids from the Kingdom Hall, told them it was to be on a Sunday afternoon after the meeting.

    So anyway, we got back from the meeting and my mum and dad went to bed, as they always did, leaving myself and my younger brother to look after ourselves.

    All of a sudden our guests arrived, we had made picallily sandwiches for everyone, made a mess in the kitchen in the process.

    My mum came downstairs in her dressing gown to be greeted by half the congregation, she was so embaressed and I can safely say I got a good battering before going to bed that night.

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    Good for you Ellie its good that you pushed yourself forward at such an early age...and it serves your mum and dad right for going to bed so bloomin early when they have kids to look after!

    It was sad to hear of your battering though...

    DB74

  • in a new york bethel minute
    in a new york bethel minute

    i feel for all of you that had such terrible experiences as children... i was lucky enough to have most of my extended family be jw's (although now i wish they would see what i see). every meeting we would see each other and play before and after the meetings. i always say i would never change how i was raised... but how i will be in the future, and how my kids will be raised is up to me. FORTUNATELY for myself and my future children, we have the knowledge that leads to a lot less stress and bullshit.

    bethel minute

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    I agree, it was tough growing up as a witness. So many different stories, but yet, so many similar.

    My dad was a big elder, my mom never pioneered or anything, but was very strict with the religion as well.

    Things I miss the most is things that many "normal" kids got to do. I wanted to play high school football, go to the dances, the prom, senior trip, the first date, first girlfriend.... etc.

    Anything I did do, which was not much, had to be done on the sneak. I remember going to a high school football game, only staying for maybe half an hour, but freaking out that someone might "catch me" and tell my parents. After all, that was optional school activities, and thus bad association.

    Trying to explain why you were different, and didn't celebrate holidays. I went to school during the 70's and graduated in 86, and a major challenge I had with other boys was, why was my hair so short? This in the day when most kids had longer hair. I couldn't help but stand out.

    A few good memories, but mostly when I look back on my childhood, it all goes back to the witnesses. My life was either school, or getting ready and going to a meeting, and if not that, then it was service.

    Scary to look back, and think to myself: Not once in my childhood did I not go out in service on the weekend. Ever. Rain or shine.

  • potleg
    potleg

    I remember as a kid wondering what it would be like to stay home every Tuesday and Thursdat nights. I hated to have to get ready and go out to the meetings especially as all the best TV shows seemed to be on those nights...but like the obedient little dub I was, I never put up a fuss...I just went along.

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