Tonight, I talk to the elders about becoming an unbaptised publisher.

by Buck 69 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Sunspot

  I told her she was the number one priority in my life. Not God, not religion.

  That was a beautiful, honest and very nice comment. It sums it all up, but yet it wasn't good enough for her. I'm sorry.

  She became quite disturbed and said my priorities were wrong.

  I see it just the opposite. HER priorities are wrong, and forcing you to become a JW to please her is all wrong! It should be because YOU desire to become a JW with or without her input or feelings on the matter. It HAS to come from the heart....and not HER heart!

  I told her I could not change the way I felt. She would always be the most important thing to me.

  And so it should be. If she can't accept that----then I'm afraid that you are chasing rainbows, Buck. Stand your ground, be honest with her, and only do what you are comfortable doing! To thine ownself be true. It won't work any other way.

  hugs,

  Annie
• 

  William Penwell

  Only do it because you want to do it. Don't do it to make anyone happy. I did that in my marraige and it doesn't work because you are not being true to yourself.

  Will
• 

  susej

  dont do it only years of self loathing and guilt await u
• 

  GetBusyLiving

  Question: have any of you guys ever known anybody that asks for help in choosing between the cult and a relationship to actually leave the relationship? Every person I've ever advised has chosen to stick with the cultist and trudge along in the Witnesses. It's sad.

  GBL
• 

  stevenyc

  AFIN

  Wow, you on a roll! Another good piece of advice.

  Become a JDub because you Want to become a JDub, not for anyone else or it Will fail. Becoming a JDub - unbaptised publisher still means you could be shunned because you will be seen as understanding the requirments- at the begining is because of your love for Jehovah, however, and this is a BIG however, the JDub organization IS NOT Jehovah.

  If you believe in a higher power, that being God - Jehovah - YAWAH, or whatever, research what His requirments are.

  If you are a believer in the Jehovahs Witness reseach them. They are also known as:

  Governing body members

  John Barr
  Carey Barber
  Samuel Herd
  Theodore Jaracz
  Steven Lett
  Gerrit Lösch
  Guy Pierce
  Albert Schroeder
  David Splane
  Daniel Sydlik

  Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania (Incorporated 1884)
  President Don A. Adams
  Vice Presidents Robert W. Wallen, William F. Malenfant
  Secretary/Treasurer Richard E. Abrahamson
  Directors Danny L. Bland, Philip D. Wilcox, John N. Wischuk

  Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc. (Incorporated 1909)
  President Max H. Larson
  Vice Presidents George M. Couch, Lonnie R. Schilling
  Secretary/Treasurer Gerald F. Simonis
  Directors Gerald D. Grizzle, David G. Sinclair, Robert M. Pevy

  Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses (Incorporated 2000)
  President William L. Van De Wall
  Vice Presidents Charles I. Woody, Leon Weaver, Jr.
  Secretary/Treasurer William H. Nonkes
  Directors Harold K. Jackson, Merton V. Campbell, Stanley F. Weigel

  Religious Order of Jehovah's Witnesses (Incorporated 2000)
  President Patrick J. LaFranca
  Vice Presidents Peter D. Molchan, Ralph E. Walls
  Secretary/Treasurer Joseph D. Mercante
  Directors Marvin G. Smalley, Kenneth J. Pulcifer, Eugene D. Rosam, Jr.

  Kingdom Support Services, Inc. (Incorporated 2000)
  President Harold L. Corkern
  Vice Presidents Alan D. Janzen, Robert L. Butler
  Secretary/Treasurer Alexander W. Reinmueller
  Directors James F. Mantz, Jr., Thomas Kalimeris, Alan G. Browning

  Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New Jersey, Inc. (Incorporated 1955)
  President Charles V. Molohan
  Vice Presidents James L. Bauer, J. Richard Brown
  Secretary/Treasurer Alan K. Flowers
  Directors Allen E. Shuster, David L. Walker, Vernon C. Wisegarver

  Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Florida, Inc. (Incorporated 1986)
  President Leonard R. Pearson
  Vice Presidents Alejandro G. Rodriguez, Maurice C. Turcot
  Secretary/Treasurer Mark L. Questell
  Directors Jim Moody, Sr., Anselm J. Packnett, Donald R. Krebs

  Valley Farms Corporation (Incorporated 1987)
  President Charles J. Rice
  Vice Presidents Kent E. Fischer, Robert L. Rains
  Secretary/Treasurer Albert L. Harrell
  Directors John R. Strandberg, Samuel D. Buck, Louis A. Travis

  steve
• 

  mcsemike

  Buck: I'm not an expert and there are exceptions to what I'm going to tell you. But I have a degree in psychology and was a servant for years, being baptized in 1977. My daughter was raped when 9 years old by a "brother" (read "pig who is going to die when I am ready to kill him"). This religion is a cult, period. No offense to those who are happily married or disagree with me. I'm not perfect (ask my soon to be ex-wife), but I've done thousands of hours of research on this cult and I am active on Silent Lambs. I know very few people in my life who know more about the WT's history than I do. Certainly no JW in my state does.

  No one wants to think about Russell and Rutherford because THEY didn't know how to think. They were both clinically insane, and that is a professional assessment. I'm going for my Doctorate and I'll never back down from my observations. If you get involved in this cult, you bear and share responsibility for what they do, including the child abuse issue. Do you want that on your conscience? And no matter what they say, they do NOT serve God, and I'm an agnostice who could care less if God exists.

  Another very important point is your "significant other". First, and no offense, the fact that she is a JW would make me wonder about her and why she still is one. I quit after learning of the WT's past and its current policies on child abuse. In my opinion, no thinking person could morally remain a JW. There are plenty of verses that they themselves use about "get out of her, my people, if you don't want to receive her plagues", talking about leaving false religion or you share the blame. Well, the WT is a false CULT, so how much might God blame you if you joined this sick organization? Individual JW's might be nice people, but so were millions of Germans who thought they were just being "patriotic". Many were executed, because this is no excuse. Do you want a mate who will now control your love and relationship? Who can threaten to leave you at any time if you don't follow the party line?

  My wife left me a few years after our daughter came forth and was finally able to tell us that she had been molested. I am also a network engineer and researched the Internet. I could no longer remain a JW after learning what I did. I was positive my wife would feel the same. But she left me over 3 years ago and took my daughter. I can't tell you the damage done to all of us: medications, therapy, suicide attempts, financial ruin, degrading health, etc. I wouldn't have a relationship with a JW if you gave me a million dollars. You have to sell your soul to this group of madmen in order to get baptized. My advice to you is to run like hell away from your friend and the cult. I don't have the time to monitor these boards regularly, so if anyone wants to take me to task, I don't have time. This is my opinion. But I suggest you read the other comments here before you do anything you regret. Good luck. (Oops, here comes a lightning bolt.)
• 

  jaffacake

  If you love her the only solution is to reveal to her the truth. The good qualities she possesses would flourish if she was to diccover true Christianity. The New Testament teaches God is Love, and focuses on the invisible and the spiritual. The JW religion is obsessed with the visible, material, and worldly and is based on hate and fear.

  Your girlfriend is the wonderful person she is in spite of (not because of) being a JW. Whatever you decide, never stop reading and researching, and somehow reveal information to her.

  Both take care.
• 

  Es

  mmmm tricky situation.... just dont let them make you do something you dont want ok? es
• 

  marxiami

  Lots of good advice here. You remind me of someone I know ( http://www.freeminds.org/stories/growup.htm - Second story down) yep, that was me a couple of years ago. I remember being lost and confused. Now that I look back on that I really see how the mind control tactics had a hold on me EVEN though I hadn't gone to a meeting in 10 years. It was instilled in me.

  I have been there also thinking the person who I am in love with is the only person for me, that's it and that's all. No discussion. But all these years later I am with someone who is truly my soul mate and has helped me grow in every way. If I had stayed where I was with who I was with, I would have been with someone else by now anyway. Anything that involves doubts is temporary, as having doubts is never a long term disease. It always effects change eventually. That is with everything.

  My advice? Do what I did. If I was going to be a JW, I was going to be in it all the way, involving my family all the way. If I wasn't going to be in it, I was ALL the way out. The way I got to where I am today is

  1. Research the origin of the religion. Where did it start? Who started it? Why was it started? Why wasn't it around prior to the start? Who runs it now? Who wrote any of the books? What was their name? What is the end objective of the organization? You have to do this from outside sources as I did. the public library, the Internet, News articles, Court documents, (they have been sued a lot and a lot is revealed under testimony that is public knowledge)

  2. Read Crisis of Conscience Ask yourself what is Ray Franz's motivation for writing such a book? Knowing that mind control is very powerful and infective, how easy was it for Ray to completely reject the teachings he had all his life?

  3. Read Steve Hassan's book regarding mind control tactics. (Written about the Moonies, but JW can easily be interchanged with the Moonies)

  Bottom line, don't do it half assed, if you are going to be a JW, be a JW and not a "Un-baptized" Whozit or Whatnot. But for Jimminy Cricket's sake whatever you do, don't do it without the research. You wouldn't buy a house, get major surgery, purchase a car, a computer, or even get addicted to Coke-a Cola without tasting Pepsi to be sure.

  Last point, the witnesses will tell you "Don't go to the outside world to find out about the religion, if you want to learn how to bake cookies, you go to the baker" But as I see it, it depends on what kind of cookie we're talking about, chocolate chip or the urinal type.
• 

  LouBelle

  Hey Buck.... So you've decided to go along with being an unbaptized publisher - I truly wish you the best though I know oh so well the path you've started on. We all do. Your heart is telling you she is number 1 - her priorities are first to the organisation dude - not you - yes this is sad.

  How do I try convey to you that what you are doing is a mistake, How do I convince you not to carry on. So many cliche'd sayings are poping into mind but nothing that I think brings out the seriousness of what you are letting yourself into.

  I trully hope that you will keep you mind / heart open - don't wear blinkers (but you might lose the girl).

  I'm quite a cynical person when it comes to love - I don't let it rule my heart - I use my mind and I know that nothing is worth my freedom of action/thought. I know what it's like coming from growing up in the so called truth - In many ways I was mature (like your g/f) We seem to have our heads screwed on properly but in truth we are brainwashed - In many ways, yes you live a pretty clean lifestyle but then are stunted and immature in other respects. I'm only seeing that now that I've left.

  Don't even know if I'm making much sense here - I'm speaking from my soul, trying to speak to yours.