Hello everyone. I've never posted here before, but I've lurked patiently for a few weeks, debating on whether or not to tackle a new message board. I guess I'll make at least one post and see what happens. ;)
Anyway, a little background about myself. I grew up in a JW household for the first 20 years of my life. We went to the hall three days a week (Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday), and occasionally went on Saturday field service. Although I believed with every ounce of my being, I never felt comfortable around other Jehovah's Witnesses. They, for the most part, always seemed vacant and overly-cordial to me. Services were incredibly boring and it seemed as if everyone was putting on a fake face, trying to be too righteous. Maybe this wasn't the case, but that's the way it felt. I never felt anything spirited during my visits to the Kingdom Hall.
As I grew older, I've began to question the validity of my beliefs. I always believed without question. Isn't that what faith's all about: Believing in something for which there is no proof? I was always taught that agnostics and antheists were horrible beings, swayed in some way by Satan to think the way they do. I think all Christians are told to believe this at some point in their lives. The idea of atheism was so taboo that I would never even think on it; it was too frightening to contemplate.
I'm now at a point in my life that belief in the Judeo/Christian God has become completely ridiculous. I feel that I was brainwashed...conditioned from birth...to hold a belief system that has no logical basis. I've spoken to others about this in the past on other message boards, and some agree. Others say that they feel the holy spirit within them, telling them that God does indeed exist. My argument is, what about Hindus? Do they not feel Ganesh within them? Do they not feel the spirit of Karne Mata with such ferver that they drink milk from a temple laden with rat feces? How about Muslims? Do they not feel the spirit of Allah so strongly that they become suicide bombers to enter the gates of heaven?
We're all conditioned to feel what we believe. The power of the human mind is uncharted; we honestly don't know whether what we feel is genuine or the result of brainwashing. The reason I rejected my beliefs has many layers. For one, NO god of love and mercy would allow the world to come to the state in which it's currently in. NO god of love and mercy would have cast an evil deity upon us and ignore our cries for help. Aside from the assumption that Jehovah is real, what proof do we have? I was taught that the "proof" in God's existence is that events predicted in the Bible are coming to pass. Events like what? Children disobeying their parents? Global wars? Famine? Pestilence? Come on, people. These things have ALWAYS existed. These events are just as new as fornication and murder. Back in Biblical times they probably existed even more so than they do today.
I have yet to see one piece of evidence that leads me to believe in the existence of God. I have, however, seen MANY pieces of evidence that lead me to believe that he does not exist. If he DID exist, he would be a sadist. He would be sitting on his throne, watching us suffer, all the while having the power to stop all the BS going on in the world. WHY are we being punished for the sins of Adam and Eve? I was not there. WHY was the sadistic sacrifice of Christ REQUIRED for us to be forgiven for our sins? We did not ask for this. GOD asked for this. We should be GRATEFUL because he put his son through torture for us? If it indeed did happen, I'm sickened by it. I'll leave you with a quote from Devil's Advocate:
Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it? God? Well I tell you. Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does he do? I swear, for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gag reel, he sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch but don't taste. Taste but don't swallow. And while you're jumping on one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughing his sick ******* *** off. He's a tight***. He's a sadist. He's an absentee-landlord! Worship that? Never!