Child abuse or consenual relationship?

by pratt1 30 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  pratt1

  A few years ago my brother - law admitted that at 14 he had a sexual relationship for 5 years with the wife of an elder in his congo.

  He was at 19 DFed for an affair he had with a fellow student.

  He never told any one about the affair with the married sister, but now 10 years later, this sister and her unsufferable husband are planning to become assistant CO.

  My mother - law, who is still in the"Lie" now knows about this affair and has made the statement that she has probable asked for forgiveness in her heart therefore the elders do not need to know of the affair.

  My brother - law is going through his own issues and because of the way he has been treated ie.. shunned, basically disowned by most of his family, he wants to expose her and her husband who he believes knew about the affair.

  I've recommended that he discuss this with his therapist and that he should think about why he feels the need to expose her now.

  What would you do?

  By the way this sister is 2 year younger than his mom.
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  Odrade

  Unequivocally child abuse. 14 is too young to enter into a relationship, especially of a sexual nature with an adult. There was a severe imbalance of power in this "relationship," and that is why the adult must exercise their own judgment in determining what is appropriate behaviour. There was no excuse. Consensual = informed and mutual consent. Adult to child "affair" is predatory, not consensual.
  

  Reverse the roles. 35 y.o. elder carries on "affair" with a 14 y.o. girl. What do you think now? Relationship or sexual abuse?

  this kind of stuff really burns me up. She should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of law. I assume statute of limitations has run out, but he could definitely make it know that she is predatory upon young boys. I knew a sister like this when I was a teen. We just all just saw it as "immoral" then, but I know now that she was a pedophile.
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  jwbot

  Well, its child abuse because 14 year olds do not make the consciencious choice to be sexual with an adult and the law agrees.
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  jaredg

  he should expose this woman for what she is. maybe getting it off of his chest will help his emotional situation.
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  adelmaal

  Tough situation...

  While in my opinion the sex was consentual because it lasted until he was 19 years old it was also child abuse and it was completely inappropriate. I do not believe any grown woman who has an affair with a 14 year old should go without having any consequences. Dubs or not this woman should be exposed and she should be made to suffer the consequences of carrying on a relationship with a 14 year old boy whose mother was only 2 years older than she. Being a COs wife will definitely put her in an elevated position with other youngsters and whose to say this wont or has not happened again?

  Possibly your brother-in-law has issues steming from this affair and he should be allowed to go through the healing process. Maybe exposing her and getting this all off his chest is just one step in his healing process? He needs to do what he needs to do to be able to move on.

  She will most certainly deny the accusation though. Does he have any proof? Is he prepared to be made out to be a liar should she deny any and all accusations? The JWs are not going to take any action unless there are 2 or more witnesses to the affair.

  At least if the issue is made public she could be considered as not being free from accusation, which might prevent her husband and she from becoming COs.
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  joannadandy

  Abuse - no question.

  He has every right to call her out on this and expose her for what she did.
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  upside/down

  Turn her sorry ass in.

  Sadly this is par for the Dub course!

  u/d
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  iiz2cool

  As far as I'm concerned it's child abuse and should be reported. I'm not sure about your local laws, but here 14 is the legal age of consent:

  The Criminal Code does not now criminalize consensual sexual activity with or between persons 14 or over, unless it takes place in a relationship of trust or dependency, in which case sexual activity with persons over 14 but under 18 can constitute an offence, notwithstanding their consent. Even consensual activity with those under 14 but over 12 may not be an offence if the accused is under 16 and less than two years older than the complainant. The exception, of course, is anal intercourse, to which unmarried persons under 18 cannot legally consent, although both the Ontario Court of Appeal(3) and the Quebec Court of Appeal(4) have struck down the relevant section of the Criminal Code.

  There's currently talk about raising the age of consent to 16.

  Walter
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  ValiantBoy

  What she did was wrong...lying...taking advantage of the situation, etc.

  However, at 15, only one year oldr, I had my first consensual sexual encounter. It was with someone a few years my senior. I initiated the incident and was a more than willing participant. Was it a good idea? NO. Should the other party have gone along with it? NO. Was is it child abuse? No, I don't think it was. And if that person were to have been prosecuted or anything, it would've destroyed me.
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  bem

  No doubt in my mind it is abuse . She should be turned in! Even if it lasted until he was 19, he was victimized from a young age.In a relationship he may not of started at 19.