by Nancy Drake 15 Replies latest jw friends
No its not healthy, I had bottled up so much of my feelings towards this cult that it has nearly destroyed me, but I finally woke up and decided to do something about it by picketing and leaving anti-jw leaflets anywhere i can, and I feel so much better to let it all air out, speaking out against something is one of the greatest powers you can experience, silence breeds nothing but emotional destruction.
Dave
This is not a black and white issue. It depends on the kind of feelings you?re having. If we are speaking of anger, rage, jealousy, envy, strife, etc., yes by all means keep a lid on them. If we are speaking about expressing appreciation or love for someone then probably best to do it. If we are talking about inclinations to do something then its? best to weigh the consequences, good and bad and then make a decision we can live with.
FM
I think Six/Nine was in the right direction. Cognitively analyze your feelings. Dispute them if they are irrational or if "letting them out" will only make things worse (which, often, it will).
The "pressure pot" model of human emotion is very Freudian and isn't really how humans work. For instance, if you're in your car and someone cuts you off it doesn't make any damn sense getting angry at all. Your anger doesn't need to "come out" as if it is some natural physical force. This sometimes applies to closer relationships as well.
On the other hand, if someone that is close to you is consistantly doing something that you don't like and interpret angrily it would be wise to rationally think about your anger and see what you can do to correct the situation.
Or just see a god damned shrink. :)
Bradley
Junction Guy,
No its not healthy, I had bottled up so much of my feelings towards this cult that it has nearly destroyed me, but I finally woke up and decided to do something about it by picketing and leaving anti-jw leaflets anywhere i can, and I feel so much better to let it all air out, speaking out against something is one of the greatest powers you can experience, silence breeds nothing but emotional destruction.
Oh, I don't agree with this at all. Have you stopped to consider that your actions are only making you more angry and, possibly, more frustrated? Especially considering the extreme vast majority of JWs will look at you as some kind of (forgive me) psychotic, demonized freak? How much "accomplishment" do you get from this?
Feelings are not facts. Your past emotional hurt doesn't have anything to do with your current emotional state unless you let it by interpreting current events in light of the past. You say you "feel better" after picketing the JWs but could it be that you are acting just as neurotically and obsessively as when you were in the JWs?
Oh well. It's your life, not mine.
B.
I must agree with Logan's Run. Such behavior is unlikely to keep anyone interested from joining the Witnesses, and only serves to intimidate the R&F who are essentially innocent, decent people trying to do the right thing.
A more rational approach might be to accept the fact that the WTS is no more or less misguided than many, many organizations throughout the world, and that the only reason they seem worse to you is because you are the one they misguided. Instead of being angry, be happy that you are out and that many others have come to the same realization as you. I'm sure nobody's picketing help you to leave, right? Would it have helped?
I think that it's okay to analyze a situation. If you repress your feelings temporarily until such a time and place as is appropriate for letting them out, that's fine. I don't think that just pushing those feelings back and swallowing them down permanently is a healthy thing. If you can look at things from a rational point of view, you can see that there are times where it is appropriate to immediately express your feelings in a healthy manner, such as expressing to a relative how their treatment of you affects you. Other times, such as when you are in a social setting where it would be inappropriate, (a job interview...or your cousin's bar-mitzpha) you may want to wait until you aren't in that particular setting to vent. Also, you need to analyze your situation. Are you simply a victim of pride, or do you have real justification for wanting to express your feelings (negative, for the purposes of my comments) to someone?
Anyhow...just a few thoughts from me...a guy who has learned alot in the last 5 years or so that it is okay to say what you think and how you feel...just do it with some forethought.
Ern
