As a neverJW parent of 2 (now 15 and 23), both my kids grew up believing in Santa, as did I, and at some point we learned the truth. I can't really pinpoint the moment for any of us, more just a gradual realization, but it certainly wasn't traumatic. My kids still don't admit that they don't believe because then they couldn't hang up their stockings on Christmas eve. In a way, I think it's harder on kids who are not allowed to believe (like in Miracle on 34th Street). I believe that Santa exists in any of us who give without any expectation/hope of acknowledgment or thanks....now as a Canada Post employee, we send out form letters from Santa to anyone that writes to him. We used to personalize them with comments about their Christmas lights, pets, siblings etc. but we are no longer allowed to do that because someone, somewhere wrote some comments regarding the child being too greedy or something like that. Now we have to stick with the form letter...
Cute but very disturbing... Send your kid a letter from Santa...
by Elsewhere 45 Replies latest jw friends
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xenawarrior
Letters from Santa are nothing new and they are great !! To see the look on a kid's face when they get that letter is priceless !
Elsewhere- if you were freaked about this thing- you'd probably be really upset to learn that people will even make fake "reindeer" tracks in the snow for their kids to see. Oh, the horror !!
I have never known anyone a long line of many generations of people in my life to be harmed in any way by the whole Santa thing.
Princess, I think you are right- if it weren't for the JW thing, I doubt it would really be an issue. And for many ex-JW's, it's also not an issue. I guess it's all in how you frame it.
I suppose if there is a history of dishonesty about other issues in life within a family, there could be anger and bitterness associated with it but then the anger isn't coming from the Santa thing, its coming from the dishonesty as a whole in that family. And I can understand how some ex-JW's could view it the way they do-having realized that they were lied to about so much in their life. But, IMO- their anger is about that and the damage they might feel was caused to them as children etc. and needs to be dealt with as such instead of projected onto so many other harmless things in life.
To me, the foundation of our dreams and what makes us strong is based on the hope that we generate through many things; including fantasy.
Is there a Santa?
The belief in Santa is based on love, hope, wonder and many other wonderful things. And it is spearate from any religious belief for those who enjoy the fun of it all.
After one no longer believes in Santa as a "real" being, Santa becomes a representation, thus "he" still exists, only in a different way. It represents the best of us. And there simply cannot be anything bad or wrong in that unless there is something bad and wrong going on in other areas of that life that isn't being addressed.
To me, "We believe in Santa" translated is "We believe in us!"
My 65 cents on the subject-once again
XW
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Elsewhere
Yes, I don't have any little ones, so maybe you are all right: You need to have kids of your own to understand.
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Mulan
The debate about telling kids about Santa (telling them he isn't real or not) is just silly. Get over it.
Life gets tough the older you get, so what harm is a little fantasy to a young child. I don't know of one kid who was harmed by believing in him. During Christmas season, I believe in him too, and have a T shirt that I wear all the time that says just that.
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Mulan
Here are all of our grandkids with Santa. The only unhappy one is the baby, who wanted his Mother. (the big boy in front always looks like that in pictures........he isn't unhappy)
Even the big girls (16 and 19), who obviously don't believe anymore, are not scarred for life, for having once believed in Santa, but they get great pleasure in prolonging the fantasy for their younger cousins and little brother.
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StinkyPantz
The debate about telling kids about Santa (telling them he isn't real or not) is just silly. Get over it.
Get over it? Why? If a person has a concern, they have every right to explore it . Elsewhere, I'd suggest you don't "get over it" and examine this in any way you see fit. I happen to agree with you . I don't necessarily see "harm" in letting kid's believe that Santa is real, but I just can't imagine letting my child believe something that is false for years and years. That's just me (and Jon). There's nothing necessary wrong with either side.
I don't know of one kid who was harmed by believing in him.
I don't know of one kid who was harmed by not believing in him .
so what harm is a little fantasy to a young child.
I don't think anyone's knocking fantasies. I had them as a child, but I also was able to see the difference between fantasy and reality. I read Cinderella, etc and used to dream of such magical places, but knew they weren't real. Parents/children take it a step farther with Santa, the child is not differentiating between the fantasy and reality, they are accepting the fantasy as truth. I take issue with this, you don't have to.
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hillbilly
Else...... i was raised with Santa. As I got older something that I would call a "willing suspension of disbelief" kicks in. You get older and your ability to reason and apply logic kicks in. I venture the opinion that most kids figure out that Santa is a illusion, allegory, a fairy tail and just a fun, happy idea like the other fantastic stories they are told while they are little. They let go of Santa about the same time they let go of all the fairy tails they are rasied with.
Really...as I got older I didnt feel "lied" to. I really feel bad that my son never learned the magic of Santa........it's a positive thing for kids.
~Hill ( Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Class)
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Steve Egner
Hey Else,
I appreciated this sentiment:
I try to teach kids that it is the spirit of Christmas that matters...
That's great. It's quite challenging, to wade through the quagmire of commercialism, and convey any meaningful "spirit" to your children... and still we try.
I, too, feel that the form-letter from Santa is a bit over the top.
I was pleasantly surprised, however, when our own local post office replied, under the alias of Santa, to our children's letters. They wrote the letters themselves (as clearly as 4 and 6 year olds can), addressed them to the North Pole, and placed them in our mailbox. Their joy on receiving a reply was uncontainable... a treasured memory to me. I had never considered that the post office or it's volunteers would take it upon themselves to reply.
As a relatively new father (my children are now aged 8 and 6) from a witness background, the events surrounding the progress of their belief in Santa are still fresh on my mind. So as not to bore you with long, syrupy stories of my children (as proud parents often do...) I'll just say this: Most of the elements of your children's belief systems are beyond your control. They will construct their realities from their anecdotal experience, just as you do (amazing, huh? smart buggars...) and your influence will be limited to enabling or discouraging those beliefs, that is all.
Personally, I've chosen not to be the Grinch, and I've been witness to the unfolding of a natural, beautiful process... the adoption and gradual dismissal of their belief in Santa Claus. Looking back, I'm glad Rachel and I chose this course, and I hope our children will be grateful too. I'll try to remember to ask them, someday.
StinkyPantz,
I am going to be straight up with my kids. Knowing the turth about Santa never hurt me, so I'm choosing not to lie to them either.
Before the arrival of our first child, our views were much the same. Real life, though, has a way of shattering one's preconceptions in the area of child rearing. You'll keep us posted?
Steve
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Undecided
I'm sorry to tell y'all, but Christmas has been cancelled this year. Santa asked if I had been a good boy this year and I said yes, he died laughing.
Ken P.
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flower
The debate about telling kids about Santa (telling them he isn't real or not) is just silly. Get over it.
Well with all due respect, it may be silly to you but I think its a bit harsh to expect everyone to be in the same place in life as you are. 'Get over it' is quite a bit harsh and frankly quite rude.
Elsewhere, I struggled with this for a couple of years because for one thing I couldnt handle the concept of delibrately lying to my kid and I also didnt like the idea of teaching my kid to be 'good' just so he could get presents from Santa thus enforcing the greed aspect that seems to be so prevalent these days. It seems like Xmas is more about getting than giving. I was also very much against the idea of me working my ass off to get the money for something and a fat old white guy getting the credit for it.
But really I think my opinion was very much influenced by my upbringing as a jw and I think I was making too big an issue out of it. I think now that it is fun for kids to believe in magic and fantasies for a few years. Reality will hit them soon enough and hard enough and reality isnt really all that fun. Why not give them a few innocent magical years to believe in fairy tales? Its not really 'lying' imo, anymore than its lying when I tell my kid he did a great job drawing a picture when I cant even figure out what its supposed to be.
I dont believe its as harmful as I used to think. After all millions if not billions of adults in the world grew up with the magic of Santa Claus and how many of them that you know have ill or negative feelings toward their parents for it? I dont know anyone who has been scarred by it. Personally I think I have more scars from not having those magical years.
