by needs_lots 28 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
((((Vicki))))
How nice of you to keep us posted on what's going on in your life! I'm so happy to hear of the GOOD things that are happening, and I am sure you'll enjoy "working" with your new status.
I totally support you in your decision to take your father to court, for all the right reasons that it should be done. You have my admiration and encouragement 100%.
hugs,
Annie
GO GIRL!
Kimberlee d.
Vicki-
Congratulations on your decision to get a degree! I hope you enjoy college, and learn lots of new things.
Your courage, first in standing up to the WTBTS, and now in pursuing justice for what your father did to you, is truly inspiring. You're one of the reasons I finally took the leap and left the "truth", after years of going through the motions. I'm sorry that your siblings aren't supporting you in this, but a woman as strong as you, with a good husband at your side, will get through this with their help or without it.
Sorry It has taken me so long to respond I was at a conference.
In a newyorkbethelminute-
I love you too!
I know that the family thinks it has been around for a while. Unfortunatly I have no control over how long the legal system takes. How is that my fault? If I could have it all wrapped up in a day I would. They should be lucky that they didnt have to live through abuse. I never had the confidence or the strength to press charges 10 or 15 years ago. I was still so wrapped up in feeling like I somehow caused it. It wasnt until I went to councelling that I realized I was not to blame. Sorry it took so long. This happens to most victims. When will they get mad at dad for what he did? My lawsuit against the jw's was to stop bad policy and to protect other people like myself. I did not want to see even more children get hurt. My second step was to stop my dad, and to make him realize the damage he has done. The first was for society, this case is for me! Sorry to hear that you would treat me the same way my brothers and sisters have. Thats just sad. And all because the legal system takes so long. They treat me like I was the abuser, and they treat my children the same.
No victim should be treated with deadlines and silence. Thats whats wrong with society, people need to speak up about abuse and stop this crazyness.
I just hope and pray that they never have to make the choices that I have had to make.
vicki
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Well my first post did a blank. I'll try this again.
Dear Vicki,
You are strength and inspiration for many others. It seems (to me) entirely unfair and unreasonable that you would have to feel that you need to justify your actions. I think newyorkbethel was trying to do some let's play Devil's Advocate but clearly he does not recognize what is involved here nor does he understand what it is like to be in your shoes (unfortunately niether does your siblings). Your absolutely right Vicki the courts are extremely slow and take years (especially the way the JWs use their money to drag it) and that is not your fault.
I can't imagine what this nonsense is about oh it's taking so long - well who cares? It affects you more than them. It sounds to me like they are more concerned with their own feelings of shame. Well I hope they read this thread because it's time for them to grow up and be a stand up person and do the right thing. It's just pathetic, the lack of support from them, and it is their problem not yours Vicki. You do not need to justify your pursuit of justice for your abuser.
one other thing...
This is a criminal trial, so Iam not going after him for money. It is out of my hands.
This has not been a walk in the park. Why do people think it must be easy for me? Like I have no feelings at all. Pressing charges was very hard! Something that I dreaded doing, Be it 10 years or not......its like yesterday to me. I did give him chances, I wanted to think that he had changed......but he was very hurtful during the trial, even to the degree of blaming me for my mothers death (she had cancer). How do you think that makes me feel? When I realized that he was trying to take me down and hurt my family with lies.........i got stronger....... and hopefully now justice. No one wants to see their dad in jail. The thought of it makes me sad. If it were up to me i would make him go for councelling, not jail. But that is not up to me. When my brothers and sisters wanted me to keep quiet, and hated me for exsposing our family secret........I got stronger again.......I didnt turn to drugs or booze............I turned to the law! I am proud of all i have accomplished, and one day they will hopefully see that. They have turned their backs on the one sister who cared the most and loved and felt the most. I never ever put any conditions on my love for them. I never once told them to stop seeing my dad. I understood that he never hurt them, so it was different for them, and i respected that. THeir decision to have no contact with me or their own neices, who love them to death, is so so so so sad. Not just for me, but for my 3 beautiful, loving girls. The pain and the hurt they are feeling now will not be easily taken away. They should not have to be punished for the actions of my father.
ok no more justifying! LOL Guess i posted too quick
vic
Its a hard world always trying to explain things to people who clearly running on emotions alone. One day people will just get it!!!!!!!!
((Vicki)) You were the victim. Your father and the WTS are the perpetrators. The legal system is a very slow machine (I'm a legal assistant in a commercial/real estate law firm), and because of that many victims don't have the courage and stamina to see things through as you are doing.
I admire your tenacity and devotion to your family, and in doing what you can to effect change.
(don't forget, the invitation's still on if you and the family travel through this way)
*****hugs***** to Vicki and hubby!
You are so strong Vicki,it was so nice to meet you and and hubby.
Heather
