Yesterday I was able to actually talk with my wife about the WT, and where I stand. I mean in detail. For the last couple of years, I'd get bits and pieces out, but then get shut down as she didn't want to hear, but yesterday was different. I don't know if it's becasue she's frustrated with dragging both kids to the hall on her own and getting no help, or if it's because in the year that I've not been active as a JW, I've developed friendships that she hasn't been able to build in the 4 years that we've lived in the city, or if it's that she's listened to bits that I've said and developped doubts herself, but whatever caused it, we had our first open and frank discussion in the last year.
It started out how she's frustrated that I've told her not to discuss my personal life with people in the hall. Since I've left I've gotten involved in politics, my union, JWD (shh...she doesn't know about that one yet ). She called me a chicken and selfish for not standing up for what I believe in and DA'ing myself. That's when I asked her "By me DA'ing myself, what is that going to accomplish? Who is it going to hurt?" I explained that it's not going to hurt me because I've not spoken to a JW (other then family) for the past year. It's going to hurt her, because she won't be able to invite her JW friends over (not that she ever does because she doesn't have many, although she always has ambitions about doing it), it's going to hurt my parents and my grandmother, because they will be forced to shun me. That's the only reason. We then went on to discuss other problems with the WTS such as, baptising kids (teens are still kids) who don't know anything but the WTS way, the UN, 607 vs. 587, and the protection of child molesters and hiding of instances(something I've seen on more then one occasion, she knows it, and agreed that it was an issue). I explained that when she started studing, that she only looked at info the WTS gave her, she didn't compare it to outside sources. She was attracted to the WTS, mainly because of the morality that it taught, compared to her catholic background, where she felt that she wasn't taught any, that it was kinda left out of the equasion. She really wasn't concerned about the foundation of the org. which I told her to reasearch. She said she'd think about it which is better then anything I've heard from her yet. I have CoC here at home, and suggested she read it just to get the big picture from a different angle. We'll see where it goes.
Anyway, it was like a weight off my shoulders being able to have such an open discussion with her.
Kwin