letter from mom/letter to mom

by MerryMagdalene 24 Replies latest social family

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I would avoid debating or disputing any religious beliefs. All religious beliefs are based on faith and therefore cannot be debated in any logical fashion. If someone's faith calls for them to do to believe something, then they will do or believe it regardless of what information you have to offer.

    Stick to secular behaviors she may engage in. Instead of saying that she is shunning you for being disfellowshipped, say that she is shunning you for having religious beliefs different from her own, and then point out how Jehover's Witnesses claim to respect everyone's right to religious freedom and even fight for this right in court. Use this to demonstrate the double standard of her wanting to have her right to worship as she pleases while at the same time punishing you for exercising the very same right.

    Point out how she cherishes her right to raise her children in the faith of her choosing, without having to worry about someone of another faith trying to influence her children. Tell her that you also cherish this right and intend to raise your child the way you see fit. She would not like it if someone of another faith came along and asked if they could teach her children another religion would she? Of course not!

    Tell her that Jehover?s Witnesses have won many court battles that ensure one's right to freedom of worship and you intend to use those rights to the fullest.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Good point, Elsewhere! That first paragraph of yours really hit me between the eyes.

    And thanks, each of you, for your support and encouragement. It means so very very much to me!!!

    --Merry

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    UPDATE (sort of)...Mom stopped by today to see my daughter (she lives about 30 miles from us). It was pretty obvious she hadn't received my letter yet, but it also seemed as if she hadn't written the letter I received from her and posted here.

    I'm so confused. She was friendly in a reserved sort of way, brought gifts, gave me money to spend on my daughter, then wanted to take her to the store. Because she doesn't have a car seat, she asked to borrow my Jeep which does. I said, "Hey, I'll just drive you. I have to go down town anyway." So she decides to take her own car and meet us there. After picking up a few things at the health food store, she suggests going to the park, so we do and have a lovely time. She looked a little sad saying "goodbye" on her way back home and telling XOX (my daughter) she loved her. But that was it. Oh, except for asking if she could take her to a special once-a-year picnic held by some "friends" in the local congregation and telling me to think it over.

    So, I don't know. I'll let you know what happens AFTER she reads my letter. At this point I have absolutely no clue...

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Tell her that your daughter can go if you can go.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Another update...

    Mom finally answered the letter I posted here, plus another more casual, newsy one I wrote afterward. I received it Saturday. It was very short, completely ignored all the issues I raised, and simply said that I had taken away the last bit of hope she had that I would one day return to Jehovah and his "loving organization" and she would honor my wishes that she not share her religious beliefs with my daughter.

    She also said that because she agrees with my being disfellowshipped, she will now treat me the way DFed people are supposed to be treated, so next time she comes to see her granddaughter maybe I could just busy myself with something else and not talk to her while she is at my house!!! (Who's disfellowshipped here? Me not talk to her?) Sorry, but I'm not playing that game!!!

    I love her and my daughter adores her, but WTB&TS beliefs permeate every fiber of her being. I don't see how she will be able to fulfill her promise, especially as my daughter gets older. What is she going to do when the wee one chatters on happily about birthday parties (one of her favorite topics right now) and other life-affirming celebrations we indulge in? What about when it starts seeming a little odd that mommy and grammy very politely never speak to each other? Can't do it. Gotta find another way.

    Thanks for letting me share my dilemmas with you. Thanks for caring. All my best to everyone out there going through the same or similar.

    --Merry

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