Why do Jehovah's Witnesses contemplate suicide?

by Sirius Dogma 29 Replies latest watchtower medical

• 

  Undaunted Danny

  Danny's Sensible Suggestions
  for Managing Stress NEW

  Psychological and Recovery Issues

  related to Jehovah's Witnesses and other groups http://www.freeminds.org/psych/psych.htm

  Danny cares and shares,thinking of you.
• 

  Scully

  This is an excerpt from my own story:
  

  I decided to leave the organization after a debilitating bout of post-partum depression following the birth of our youngest child in 1993. During the pregnancy, I had been advised by my doctor to go on bedrest as there was a threat of miscarriage. Up until that time, we had been regular in meeting attendance and in field service. We even had the weekly Book Study in our home, along with a weekend service arrangement. Because of the doctor's instructions, we requested that I be allowed to listen to the meetings via telephone, as it was a provision that was supposed to be available to people who were ill. The elders declined our request, but would not give us any reason for doing so.

  As it turned out, I would end up in bed for the better part of a month, until the doctor gave the "all clear" for me to resume normal activity again. During that time, I was never visited by "the friends", no cards came to cheer me up, no telephone calls to let me know that the people who were supposed to be my spiritual "family" cared about me. We later found out that a man who was studying (along with his wife) had broken his leg at about the same time that I was put on bedrest. However, rather than even treating us both the same, or making arrangements to ensure that we were both looked after, the congregation arranged to have their house cleaned, to have meals prepared and brought over to them, to have their children looked after. How did we find out?? One of the sisters in the congregation phoned me, and rather than asking me how I was, she said that the congregation had organized that certain Book Study groups were "assigned" to prepare a meal for the couple who was studying, and they had me down for Thursday, and would I mind making lasagne and a salad and a dessert and delivering it? When I told her that I was unable to do that because of my activity restrictions by the doctor, she scolded me for not 'sharing the load of responsibility for others in the congregation', and hung up on me.

  That was what started me questioning the claims the JWs made about being The Truth?. The scriptures that I had trusted in, the organization which I had been prepared to die for, had failed me when I needed them. I struggled with the conflict for months, and then finally after the baby arrived, the internal conflict spilled over into a nasty case of post-partum depression. It was all I could do to look after myself and the two youngest children. I had asked one of the elders if it could be arranged that I assist some sisters in the KH with Bible Studies so that I could at least count some time in service, but again, the request was denied. Even though I had discussed the matter privately on the telephone with the elder, it soon became a matter of public knowledge that I "didn't want to go in service anymore". [added by edit: I was even approached by one of the pioneers who told me "Why don't you just get your own damn Bible Studies?"]

  I couldn't make it through a meeting on a Sunday without being overcome with nausea and claustrophobia. Just hearing them talk about what a "loving organization" this was made me want to vomit after what they'd done to my family and me. Elders made snide remarks to me when my husband was out of earshot, like "I hear you're having trouble adjusting to motherhood!" and "Well, you know the Bible does say 'woe to the one suckling a baby in the last days'!!" One time another sister overheard me crying and talking to myself in the mothers' room... I had said "I wish you would all just GO AWAY!" One of the elders called that night, and apparently from the moment I uttered those words, until the time that they reached his ears [via the grapevine that supposedly does not exist] I had apparently threatened to get a gun and kill everyone at the meeting!
  
  The Memorial was a few weeks later, and I was sitting at the back of the auditorium with the baby because she was fussing, and I was having trouble keeping my composure - I would start crying at the drop of a hat. When it came time to pass the emblems, the ushers refused to let me handle them. At first, with the bread, I thought it had been an oversight; so when the wine was passed, I made an effort to intercept the ushers so that they would pass it to me. They deliberately avoided me, as though they had been told to do so, as though they were trying to prevent me from partaking (which was not even close to my intention). After the Memorial was over, one of the elders approached me and said "Well, would you look at what the cat dragged in??" and I was so angry and upset that I said, "Yes, I saw your wife's dress, you really shouldn't let her out like that!" When we got home that night, I was suicidal. I felt that if the elders had decided that the disfellowshipped people who were at the Memorial that night were worthy of being passed the Emblems, then they had decided that I was not, that Jehovah himself had declared me unworthy, and I just wanted to save God the trouble of doing away with me at Armageddon. I spent the next 24 hours in the hospital. When my husband picked me up I told him I would never set foot in a Kingdom Hall again.

  For me, it was the systematic mental and emotional cruelty that I received at the hands of the JWs when I was already in a precarious and vulnerable state of mental health that drove me to think that the only way to stop the pain would be to commit suicide. Being "shunned" [mind you, I was still In Good Standing? apparently] during the passing of the Memorial emblems was the most cruel and disgusting and hateful thing they could have done to me at that point in time.

  While I was recuperating, a very profound thought occurred to me. For being the Happiest People On Earth?, JWs actually promote a death culture. Consider:
  

  • When faced with a choice between a life-saving blood transfusion or certain death, a JW must choose death in order to remain In God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • When a JW is faced with being raped, she must scream and fight, even if it means that the rapist will kill her. If she doesn't scream or fight, she will be disfellowshipped for Committing Fornication?. She must choose death in order to remain In God's Favour?. You are better off dead than raped.
  • If a JW child becomes ill or has an accident and needs a blood transfusion, the parents must choose death for their child rather than risk Losing God's Favour?. Your child is better off dead.
  • If you don't go In Service? at every opportunity, you risk Losing God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • If you miss Meetings?, you risk Losing God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • If you Marry Outside The Truth?, you risk Losing God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • If you become clinically depressed, it is "because" you are just lazy, a slacker and ungrateful for the Loving Provisions From God's Organization?. You are better off dead.
  • "If you Turn Your Back On The Truth?, your children will be better off if you take them out in the back yard and blow their heads off with a gun." [Yes, for those of you who don't know, this was actually said to my face.] They (and you) are better off dead.

  This mentality almost caused my children to have to grow up without a mother. And I will NEVER forgive The Christian? Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses? for that.

  Love, Scully
• 

  Big Tex

  (((Scully)))

  You have value and worth and I'm glad you're still here. You have helped so many people, I'm glad you were able to help yourself.
• 

  Steven T. D. Schaaf

  Because the doctrin sets and impossible standard
• 

  Sirius Dogma

  Wow Scully,

  That is totally harsh, what a bunch of f*cking pricks!

  And this is dead on.

  While I was recuperating, a very profound thought occurred to me. For being the Happiest People On Earth?, JWs actually promote a death culture. Consider:

  • When faced with a choice between a life-saving blood transfusion or certain death, a JW must choose death in order to remain In God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • When a JW is faced with being raped, she must scream and fight, even if it means that the rapist will kill her. If she doesn't scream or fight, she will be disfellowshipped for Committing Fornication?. She must choose death in order to remain In God's Favour?. You are better off dead than raped.
  • If a JW child becomes ill or has an accident, the parents must choose death for their child rather than risk Losing God's Favour?. Your child is better off dead.
  • If you don't go In Service? at every opportunity, you risk Losing God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • If you miss Meetings?, you risk Losing God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • If you Marry Outside The Truth?, you risk Losing God's Favour?. You are better off dead.
  • If you become clinically depressed, it is "because" you are just lazy, a slacker and ungrateful for the Loving Provisions From God's Organization?. You are better off dead.
  • "If you Turn Your Back On The Truth?, your children will be better off if you take them out in the back yard and blow their heads off with a gun." [Yes, for those of you who don't know, this was actually said to my face.] They (and you) are better off dead.

  Apostate Love,

  Paul
• 

  cyber-sista

  This mentality almost caused my children to have to grow up without a mother. And I will NEVER forgive The Christian? Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses? for that.

  (((((((((((Scully)))))))))))))))

  In the final part of my JW daze I seriously contemplated ending my life. In the end I figured I was better off a live dog than a dead lion (my thinking at the time). It was a horrible thing to go through. I had been so betrayed by so many in the Org---I didn't want to see these people again and even part of my brain that was still a JW told me even if there is a new system I don't want to live with these people forever!

  It's over now and I am trying to get on with my life, but I agree with you I will never forgive them for driving me to the point of suicide.
• 

  shamus

  For me, it was the systematic mental and emotional cruelty that I received at the hands of the JWs when I was already in a precarious and vulnerable state of mental health that drove me to think that the only way to stop the pain would be to commit suicide.

  The shaming never stops. You can never do enough! And I know what you mean when you 'fall sick' and nobody gives a damn.

  One thing sticks out in my mind. When we were all out in service, one sister was suffering from 'depression', and wasn't going to meetings. We called on her door one day to check on her, and there was no response. One sister bought some flowers for her, but alas, no answer. (I wonder why? her car was there!)

  On the way back to the car, I asked her what was wrong with her, and her reply was "Oh, she's just feeling sorry for herself." I will never forget that. It was a warning to me to never trust this group of people, no matter what happens.

  Years later, when I finally did get help for my depression, well, I saw the 'love' and the stupid practices. The same stupid people, the same gossip, all of which I was a part of, and take responsibility for now.

  When I went to my last meeting, after missing about 1 months worth of meetings, an old geezer comes up to me while I was walking in, and says to me while passing, "well, if it isn't the part-timer!".

  The love in congregations is so dependant on how well you do spiritually. You can be the 'shining star' of the congregation one minute (at that very hall, I was the shining star and 'up and coming MS... passing out magazines, running the stupid CD player for the songs), then the congregational demon after missing 1 month of meetings, and not one question why, and your usual friends just ignore you. I knew before then about they're conditional love, and was not at all suprised by it. That's when I knew it could not be 'the truth'. And no, it was not just one congregation. It was all of them!

  I joined the witnesses to cure my depression. It didn't. As Scully already mentioned, the constant shaming at meetings, constant calling into question motives such as missing personal study, and insinuations that you are never doing enough, despite auxillary pioneering, preparing for 5 meetings a week, helping out whenever I could, was never enough.

  Oddly enough, it was a medical doctor who I seeked help from. I told him that some friends of mine had noticed that I was seeming depressed. The only ones who noticed were my family; not the witnesses. In fact, I was told constantly to just do more, do more, do more when I was depressed.

  Turns out depression runs in my family. The doctor gave me some meds, and I was 100 percent better. It took some months to really think about all that I had learnt from these idiots, and that is when I decided that something was amiss. I left them for a month, went back, and never went to that congregation again. Moved to another town, went twice; once for the memorial, once when I first got there.

  I haven't been back since.

  So, why do witnesses seek suicide? Because nobody cares when you're sick. Nobody notices it, and if you dare go get help, you are told to 'do more, do more, do more' by the elders with no mental health training whatsoever. (usually window cleaners). The constant congregational bickering, shaming into thinking that everything is your fault, and absolute shunning if you don't keep up to congregational standards (such as your 10 hour fs per month, only assosiating with other witnesses, assosiating 1/2 hour before and after the meetings, being joyful all the time, commenting at least once every meeting despite a nervous condition, joining the ministry school, getting a 4 door car, not working too much, pioneering, reaching out and talking with people that can't stand you at meetings, wearing black polished shoes, wearing a suit that is 'modest' and completely tacky, being single and absolutley never thinking of mastrubating, never thinking of sex, not drinking too much, not drinking every day, not being negative despite being pushed down by 'loving' counsel, wearing black socks, having your hair 'modest' at all times, not going to witness 'parties', telling on people (which I still feel guilt to this day!), not finding meetings boring as that would be 'unchristian and showing disrespect for the faithful and discreet slave class', always smiling, always happy, always joyful, going to congregation get-togethers with people who gossip non-stop about everyone and smile while they chat to you like nothing is wrong, learning to forgive one another as christ forgave you,

  and if you can't do all of the above, IT'S YOUR FAULT, END OF DISCUSSION.

  They are among the most ridiculous rule-makers I have ever had the displeasure of meeting in my life. I recall that the Pharisees put silly rules on people in Jesus day. Then they hypocritically say that they don't place rules on they're members.

  They are lying.
• 

  Balsam

  Well I feel their is a mentality of if you can't live up to Jehovah's Standards (actually the Watchtower Society standards), death is all you have to look forward too. If you die then maybe you will have a chance for a resurrection. Otherwise if you continue on with your life Jehovah's will destroy you because you are not doing enough. The pressure that we as Jehovah's Witnesses precieved were put on us from God was so hard to deal with. And we did not have a sense of grace that would make us feel that Jesus would help us.

  Of course you have to understand that each individual puts their own anxieties into the words of the WTS from the literature they fed us. So some people would have looked it from a much harsher viewpoint than say perhaps some else. But we heard of suicides and it was always those we understood had become so stressed out about life.

  The pressure was just monsterous. And nothing, not family, not providing for your family, not anything but preaching and getting to all the meetings each week and all the assemblies and conventions was important. That meant it was impossible to feel that loving your family, being a good parent was ever enough.

  With general Christianity there is the element of grace, that God will forgive and help you no matter how much you fail. But that is an element that was missing from the JW way of life.

  I don't follow traditional Christianity, but I can see the benefits in some of its teachings.

  Balsam
• 

  XQsThaiPoes

  I think because the religion has a better view of death.

  Most religions in the after life sucide is punished. When you reward or tolerate suicidesuch as in Japanese culture or islam suicide rates increase. JWs believe that you ether stop existing and become like you are sleep or you are rewarded in paradise. Depression causes a longing for sleep. The reason JWs can commit sucide is because death will actualy benefit them. Providing the person believes in the JW death system. Many JW sucide letters and tapes explain this to their families or elders.
• 

  larc

  I don't think I can add anything new here. I will just express it in a different way. First off, you are taught to do MORE, MORE, MORE. You can never do enough. How does that make you feel? Two feet lower than whale poop. Well, when you believe that you can not do enough to survive the big A, what are your options? I would say that it is suicide. You are going to fall asleep in death and that is it. No hell fire, so go for it.