situation,Hello everyone

vampmonk

Hey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.

I'm an athiest. i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation. I've grown very strong feelings for a girl who is a "witness" and although i accept her faith and especially her, my being athiest tends to worry me for i do not yet "fully understand" the faith, but for her i'm willing to learn all there is about it, so is how much i have fallen for her. i just dont know if your faith can accept me? simply as an observer? i understand that dating amongst "witnesses" is rather tight nip, and parents frown upon their daughters (not sure about sons) that date out of the faith? i know that her parents are not exactly fond of the idea, but i personally feel that faith or no faith, acceptanc is about the person and not on the grounds of which "god" he/she believes in, faith follwed etc. i really want to be accepted by her family and by her, she means a lot to me and i hope that we can share a somewhat meaningful and lenghty relationship. but my predicament stands that i may never be able to be close to her based on my beliefs? pardon my bluntness but the whole religion prejiduce thing is rather pathetic, esp wen love is involved(hopefully). plz.. if anyone can help me on this sensitive situation... PLZ any help will be most appreciated... and i apologise again if my being of other beliefs offends anyone.

sincerely

Jared (16)

Winston Smith :>D

Welcome!

Well, you are in for a treat. The JW's are not like most other mainstream religions, it's a cult.

Start your read here, tons of good info:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/58215/1.ashx

Good luck :)

vampmonk

thanks man.... zounds fun... gota start somwhere right? hehehe... ill read further thanks.

Nosferatu

pardon my bluntness but the whole religion prejiduce thing is rather pathetic, esp wen love is involved

I completely agree with the above statement. Religion should be a side thing, more like a hobby rather than a way of life. For JWs, it is completely the opposite. The JW religion is a way of life. No matter what you do, this girl that you've become infatuated with will never love you more than the religion. Religion comes first, human relations second, and if you're not a JW, the importance of you drops even more.

Second, you're 16 years old. You're not dating this girl. You're not in love. Love is just a comination of emotions, actions, and reactions. Love between two people has to consist of two people. You're infatuated, and she may also be.

Third, there are thousands of other women out there. Why is this one so important? She might be sexy, pretty, and have a nice personality to boot, but there are many other women out there that posess these qualities.

Fourth, if you continue to pursue this girl, you're going to be fighting an incredible battle - you against six million JWs who will be influencing her, and encouraging her not to date you, but to stick to serving Jehovah in her youth, and consider marrying when she reaches "maturity".

Fifth, when JWs date, they're supposed to have the full intent to marry. Most JWs frown upon dating under the age of 20, as they have not reached maturity yet. If you want to pursue her, be prepared for talk about marriage.

The odds are against you, BIG TIME. I know that nobody can control who they develope feelings for, but feelings and memories can fade with time. If you choose to move on (which I encourage you to do), cut all contact with this girl and pursue others. You'll save yourself a lot of frustration, emotional pain, and time. Humans have a natural desire to have what they can't get, but that natural desire can be put aside when facts make more sense than fantasy.

I hope this helps you. Also, welcome to the forum! Most of us here are ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. You'd get kicked off if this was a pro-jw board.

prgirl79

Hi Jared,

Seems like this keeps on happening wish i saw this years ago, but hey you live and learn. My advise plain and simple is run now!! There are other girls out there. I was with a ex jw for 5 years relationships like these rarely work. Instead of rambling on you should look at this thread which has my opinion/advise plus others and is actually opened right now in this same area http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/72972/1.ashx. I also recommend you do your research JW's are a cult.

You should look up information on cults i like this website as it talks specifically about jw's http://users.uniserve.com/~renford/persuade.htm#intro www.jwfiles.com. and many others If you like to read Steve Hassan combatting cult mind control is a good book.

desib77

Welcome...

Desi

concerned mama

Hi Vampmonk,

My teenage daughter had a JW boyfriend for 2 years. From what we have learned, I can tell you that if your girlfriend is serious about being a JW, the relationship is extremely unlikely to work. All JWs (male and female) are not supposed to date until they are ready for marriage. They aren't supposed to marry outside the religion, not date outside the religion, and are not even supposed to have friends outside the religion. (We are called bad association and are considered to be a bad influence even if you are the nicest, most moral person in the world). You are 16, are you not, and you know that is far too young to be thinking of marriage. If your girlfriend is baptized, then she must follow the rules much more strictly or she may be reprimanded by her elders and have to deal with some sort of shunning. Physical affection is very severely frowned on, and I don't mean just sex, I mean kissing or hugging.

Quite often people who are JW are not very forthcoming about all their rules, written and unwritten. To be quite honest, a lot of what she hears at the Hall is very insulting to everyone who isn't a JW (they are taught that anyone whos isn't JW is more likely to lie, chat, steal etc), so she may be reluctant to tell you a lot about that part of the Watchtower. I have saved all sorts of bit and pieces of information and if you want it, send me a personal message.

I understand that this girl may be really nice. My daughter's ex was, too. It just won't work right now as a dating situation, and a serious, marriage type relationship you are too young for and has enormous complications. It will just keep getting messier and more emotionally wrenching. Try to move on before your emotions get more involved and the hurts get bigger.

situation,Hello everyone

vampmonk

Winston Smith :>D

vampmonk

Nosferatu

prgirl79

desib77

concerned mama

Stefanie

prgirl79

Karissa

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