Please....I need your knowledge on this...... (page 2)

Sentinel

As far as I know, the JW's really want marriages to work. I was a JW who married a non-believer when I was in the df'd stage (at 20) and then I began trying to get back into the "group" soon after. Of course I wanted my husband at the time to study and attend meetings, even now and then; but he only showed interest for a brief time around '75 when they were trying to convince everyone that the end of the world was at hand. When he saw that didn't occur, he stopped studying.

It's always better if a couple has similar standards of living and somewhat similar spiritual views. The JW's are just too far out there for most divided marriages to work. I would have to say that no brother/elder ever gave me the advice to leave my husband. They in fact cautioned me not to divorce him unless I could prove by "visual sight", that he was commiting adultery. I stayed in a very abusive situation for way too long because of that directive. Divorce was just an absolute "no-no" unless certain situtions were met. They always felt that the "other" mate could be "won over" by the faithful JW in time. Sometimes that did work, but most of the time, the wife just stuck it out in a horrible situation with no way out.

I have no clue how things have changed since I left in '83. I know of many marriages from my old congregation that did not survive--many of those where both started out as JW's together ended in divorce.

/<

gumby

if he (the x-dub) has been throwing apostate comments to her, is she REQUIRED to report this to the Elders? Can't a husband and wife talk about things in the privacy of their own home without the Elders knowing?

She isn't required to report him. She is however required to NOT entertain any of his "apostate" ideas or teachings. If she does, then she is sharing in company with those speaking against Jehovah and could be disfellowshipped if she was found out about doing such a thing and didn't cease doing it once she was talked to.

If someone 'begins' to doubt, they are to speak to the elders about it, not your spouse.

In the case you gave, one was never a witness, so it wouldn''t apply.

Gumby

Carmel

NEW LIGHT! Un-believing husband will soon be accused of "spiritual adultry" and wifey will be allowd to "toss the bum out". I Cor. 94:11

jgnat

"Oh, hello dear, how are things at home?"
"It has been ever so long since your husband has been by, let him know he is missed at the meetings."
"Isn't it hard enough, during these last days, with all the opposition we face, if our partner does not share the Truth?"
"It must be so hard to resist pressure during the seasonal holidays. Does he force you to partake?"
"Sad, so sad that we must endure such problems so near the end of the system of things."

Quoted at least once a month:

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Divorce? Probably not. Having an "unbelieving" spouse gives the JW partner automatic martyrdom. Unfortunately she will be a pariah as well. She won't be invited to social events (too awkward to invite only one spouse). She sits alone at the back of the hall.

cameo

Thanks so much. I appreciate any information, as I've never been a JW. This young couple is very special to us, and we're just concerned about the future of their marriage.

Another question: Do you think she (the JW) will notice a change in the attitude or friendliness toward her of her Kingdom Hall Elders & friends AFTER her first year in the org is over?

Sassy

Cameo.. My mother became a JW when I was about 5. My dad had no interest in religion in his life (although he believed in God, he was raised that the men and boys worked the farm, the women went to church). He never stopped my mother from being a JW. But it was ultimately the reason during their 25 year of marriage that he left her.

The religion sucks you in and you must put the religion first over anything else. your life is that religion. My dad finally realized one day he either needed to become one or give up the marriage because they were two people living seperate lives..

It was very hard on the three kids (myself and brother and sister) growing up in that atmosphere..

I hope this couple can escape some of the things we had to deal with..

Brummie

If he begins preaching another faith at her they could encourage divorce on the grounds of "spiritual endangerment", a marriage is threefold for a JW, he-she-the org. The Organisation demand 100% loyalty, they will encourage them to stay married but but only in-so-far as she remains 100 for the org and he isnt influencing her in any other direction.

Purza

Actually I have heard of cases where the elders encourage husbands and/or wives to stay and to "forgive" after adultery has been committed.

Wasn't that the ultimate "trick" -- if someone commits adultery to get out of a marriage and the other mate forgives. What a joke.

My friend married a JW and a few years later showed his true colors -- he was a drug addict -- she was encouraged to stay with the loser. That is another joke.

Purza

Quotes

My experience:

walked out on me. (For the record, I don't drink, smoke, never hit her, and never prevented her from going to meetings -- in fact, as I was fading, I had more time to think about and execute those little things: cards, flowers, etc.)

elders had sanctioned and/or suggested she seperate in order to "protect her spirituality".

me for wrongdoing) they insisted they had not sanctioned this behaviour. "Perhaps it was someone at another Kingdom Hall???" they suggested.

Please....I need your knowledge on this......

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