Addicted to Misery

by Lady Lee 42 Replies latest social relationships

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  Joyzabel

  wow, powerful thread, Lee.

  Thank you so much for posting information like this. More beneficial than you know.

  Joy
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  Lady Lee

  Thanks folks
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  blondie

  I have to add my 2 cents, LL. I was so worried about marrying a jerk because of subconsciously being "addicted to misery" that I decided never to get married. But then I met my husband and he grew on me and I realized that I had grown past that part of my life. That I was not going to choose to marry an abuser like my father.

  People sometimes choose misery over and over because it is familiar, they know how to handle it. They don't know how to handle happiness. Others choose it because it has been the only way they get attention from others. Once the problem is "solved," they find that people turn away, that they are only there in a crisis, not for the day to day.

  I can remember a sister who was married to an active alcoholic inactive JW husband. Everyone commiserated with her. But lo and behold, he stopped drinking, started studying with a brother, started attending all the meetings and going out in field service. Do you think his wife and daughters were happy? No, she divorced him and married another alcoholic, non-JW this time. She was DF'd but reinstated in 11 months. Since her new husband was an alcoholic too, the cycle of sympathy at the KH started all over again. Many JWs thought it was a coincidence, but others saw the pattern.

  Thanks for giving us balanced, practical info, LL.

  Blondie