My Mother's Letter

by silentlambs 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cautious
    Cautious

    Hi Bill

    What a sad letter.

    All your mum is doing is reacting to what has been shoved into her head - maybe when she settles down she will be able to think more rationaly about it. My mum reacted in a very similar way (she got the headaches too, amongst other things), just lashed out because she was hurting. We are back on track now, better than ever. I think the way the WTS treated me had a lot of impact on her, once she settled down, and her attitude has now really changed - she left the org a little while ago.

    You are doing a wonderful and brave thing Bill, and if your mum could get her head out of JW space I think she would see that for herself.

    Stay strong
    Cautious

  • Francois
    Francois

    Your mother's letter attempt to make you responsible for her feelings; it's an invitation to a guilt trip. Don't go.

    Your mother's emotional responses are your mother's choice. Not yours.

    Your mother's letter is a blatant attempt at manipulation; crass and cynical.

    If you maker her know you refuse to be manipulated in such a fashion, she may give it up. I hope so.

    And your emotional reactions to your mother are likewise your choice. Choose well.

    Francois

    My $0.02

  • Thirdson
    Thirdson

    Hi SL,

    It is very sad when our mothers treat us like this because we take a stand on issues we are passionate about. I don't know what will change her mind or when she will see the truth. Maybe seeing the way you are treated or the flood of information that will be unleashed about the depth of the child abuse problem and the WTS cover up will make her see the real truth. Maybe then it will be you with the open arms, open to restore your relationship.

    At least there's hope with this outreach. Keep doing what you have to do, don't succumb to the emotional blackmail her letter.

    THirdson

    'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

  • RedhorseWoman
    RedhorseWoman

    (sigh) How truly sad this is. Instead of being proud of her son for standing up for what he knows to be right, she is intent on keeping the status quo for the WTBTS by trying to guilt you back into silence.

    Keep doing what you know is right. She is your mother, and deep inside I'm sure that there is pride in a son who is willing to put everything on the line for what he knows is true. Hopefully, that little spark of "mother" will overcome the BOrg conditioning and brainwashing. Hopefully, she'll come to you in the not-too-distant future and truly welcome you with unconditional love.

    She says that she loves you unconditionally now, but yet she goes on to list the "condition" by which she will welcome you with open arms, and that condition is that you stop your campaign to help the victims of the Watchtower abuses and that you quietly return to the Organization and help them to cover up the atrocities once again. This, IMO, is the farthest thing from unconditional love that I have seen in a long time.

    Know this....if your mother truly loves God and truly loves righteousness, she will eventually come around to your way of thinking and will stand beside you, proudly saying, "See, everyone? This is my son! This is the man who looked evil in the face and stood firm. This is the man who refused to be cowed by guilt or rejection from those who said they loved him, but who were actually pawns of a giant corporation. This is the man who helped me to see the truth."

    I hope this day comes soon for you.

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hello silentlambs:

    How unspeakably sad your mother's letter is to you. Sad that she has been conditioned by the borg to feel and talk like this, and sad for you as the son and recipient of such a load of blather.

    I read her words and pictured my mother saying those same things to me. I thought my mother is the master of the "guilt trips" but I see she has other comrads in her force, like your mom and Mulan's.

    So many times I feel like just giving up in trying to have the kind of mother I have envisioned all my life, one who will be there for ME when I need her and be a strong arm to lean on, not what I get.... a carbon copy of some Awake article. I still have a smidgen of hope left that she will "see the light" but that hope is growing dimmer with her advancing age and growing inability to think clearly.

    Your mom displays the typical JW indoctrination of propaganda but JT's experience with his mother-in-law at least shows promise that there is always a chance that something will make them think for themselves enough to start making a difference.

    At least it seems for you and Mulan and for me and I'm sure many others here, that the one good thing that has come out of this type of "guilt trip ridden" upbringing is that it has produced in us an insight to be able to see through the "ranting and raving" of the borg. and react with insight and clarity of mind.

    For me, it has produced a dedication to NOT treating my children with the infamous "guilt-trip" MO. As a result I have a loving relationship with my children because they too see the manipulative tactics of my mom and their grandma and they too react negatively to those manouvers or as Thirdson labelled it...."emotional blackmail"

    RedHorseWoman:

    I love your very accurate prediction of how mothers will react when the truth shows their children to have been right in the first place about their "stand"....with pride and support saying "this is my son..I knew he was right all along"

    Silentlambs...I do hope that this will be your outcome. Life is so short, I have come to realize. I hope she does not throw it away.

    Had Enough

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Hi Silentlambs,

    The letter was tragic. Truly tragic, yet my own 73 year-old-mother could have penned exactly the same thing. I know exactly how you feel, and exactly what your mother is trying to do to you because I've been getting exactly the same thing from my own mother for nearly thirty years now, and even before that when I was a dub, I could never do enough, never be good enough. As I said its tragic cult-thinking at its worst.

    : when you build your life around negative stories as horrible as child abuse there's never anything to laugh about any more.

    I find that supremely ironic since JWs have built their entire lives around the most tragic and negative horror of all: six billion people being massacred in a day or so, eyes rotting in the sockets of babies-in-arms, blood, guts, and gore splattered over every inch of this earth, their own "wordly" parents, brothers, sisters, and children all being brutally murdered in front of their eyes on that "joyous" day. This is what JWs live for, work for and give up everything else for. Yet somehow people like your mother still think there is something to laugh about "anymore."

    Tragic.

    Farkel

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hello JT:

    I truly appreciate your relating your experiences as an elder and ex-Bethelite to us.

    You said:

    she allowed me to go into my exp at Bethel with G-JOBBING and so many instructions that we had recieved as elders

    If you haven't already related to us the experiences at Bethel that you told to your mom-in-law, (or even if you already have told us) could you tell us about what you told her.....and...what is "G-JOBBING" (sorry for my naivity)

    Thanks...

    Had Enough

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hello Farkel:

    I see you too have grown up with the kind of manipulative guilt-trip weilding mother as I, and others in this thread, have also.

    Yes I find it so tragic that our mothers can accept the gruesome descriptions of the massacres of the masses including babies and children at Armageddon with "the blood flowing up to the bridles of the horses" and yet can close their minds to the proven facts of the gut-wrenching accounts of child-abuse hidden deep in the org. and having been going on for so long too.

    Yes it it truly TRAGIC beyond words.

    Had Enough

  • Kent
    Kent

    Hi silentlambs;

    I am, naturally, sorry for the situation so painfully clear in your mothers letter.

    On the other hand it fully shows the enormous hypocricy inside the Watchtower. The typical "we don't want to hear" - and we "really don't want to know". The typical methode of putting the head into the sand, and pretending there is no problem!

    Also, the letter shows the force of the WAtchtower propaganda. We terrible "apostates" will rip you apart, tear your stomack open and have you for breakfast when we're "finished with you".

    It's sad people don't dare to think a little bit by themselves - and open at least one eye a LITTLE.......

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • Norm
    Norm

    Hi there Silentlambs,

    Your Mom is certainly using a lot of Watchtower clichés. It is really amazing how successful the Watchtower Society is at putting all these thought stoppers into the minds of their faithful followers.

    dear son,

    while i wish you happiness, i am having health problems now from your decision to be at odds with jehovah's organization, and when you said you didn't feel it was neccessary to talk to jehovah everyday once a week would be enough. that really hurt. becaues i remember when you loved to talk to jehovah everyday. he is so kind and helps so much. i would never want to live a day without telling him how much i appreciate the things he does for us each day to just help us live and breath. i will always love you "unconditionally" but i truly feel you have been decieved by apostates and i feel when they are done using you, they will hurt you beyond description.

    Jehovah's Witnesses which is probably among the most manipulated people on earth will of course pick up the technique themselves, and when mom tell her son that a certain something he do makes mommy ill, that isn’t even subtle. Talking to the Jehovah's Witnesses/Christians imaginary friend is of course also compulsory. For some reason this God never tires of being sucked up to in the most blatantly nauseating manner, being told how wonderful and great he is, in spite of all the genocide and shit “he” has pulled. Then we have the use of the word unconditionally which no Jehovah's Witness alive have the remotest clue as to what is, because they ONLY "love" people who blindly accept whatever is printed in the latest Watchtower.
    Then we have another cliché, “you have been deceived” meaning, you could never have figured this out for yourself, as thinking is prohibited for Jehovah's Witnesses.
    Unlike the Watchtower Society the apostates USE you, and then throw you aside, something the Watchtower Society would NEVER do. Wonder what Mom and the Congregations is doing to you right now is called? Could it be an example of the Watchtower brand of “unconditional love”?

    the pain of, or fear of, that, is causing me so much stress, i am having headaches and pains in my stomach. i feel you have lost the common sense you used to have and are driven by a desire to be somebody, which will never happen in the world you have chosen to live in.

    Oh, another Watchtower cliché, you want to (gasp) BE SOMEBODY! Wow! You don’t like to see child abusers get away with their despicable behavior, you refuse to turn a blind eye to the fact that the almighty Watchtower organizations clean façade is more important than children’s lives and well being. What a horrible man you are.
    Common sense? A totally unknown phenomenon among Jehovah's Witnesses.

    when you build your life around negative stories as horrible as child abuse there's never anything to laugh about any more. there's no joy or feelings of happy times. "happy are those conscious of their spiritual need." if you don't feel a need to be with jehovah there will be no real happiness, it will only be a mirage that will fade when you reach for it and need it most.

    Another cliché in the huge Watchtower arsenal, “NEGATIVE”. Everything that is true is negative and in particular truth about the Watchtower Society. That’s “negative” in the extreme. Why can’t you be happy with us and look forward to the day when Jehovah is going to wipe out 6+ billion people, which is due any day now. Now there is something we could laugh about, son. That’s real happiness for you.

    i feel someday you will wish you had never taken this course. when that day comes, me, your father, and sister will be there with open arms. i don't always listen to what people say. i just watch their eyes. it's hard for eyes to not show the truth. i didn't see peace and happiness in you, your son or daughters eyes, only in your wife, i feel she see's the mirage and someday she will find those new friends are saying things behind her back that really hurts. this is what i feel. anyway, right now, for my health's sake, i have to not hear about child abuse and your feelings about the organization. it hurts to much and i have to find a way to survive. i will always love you.

    mom

    I, your Mom who have this tremendous “unconditional love” for you will only accept you with open arms if you share my delusions, now if that isn’t unconditional I don’t what is. Don’t you understand that we don’t want to hear about child abuse in la la land. Such filthy and horrible things as reality should be ignored altogether. Just as all the horrible things your wife’s “old” friends in the congregations is saying about her and you, these days.

    This is in my opinion what she really said. As usual we who have taken a stand for truth and decency are the ones who will show unconditional love while we put up with such nonsense.

    Norm

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