Feeling lost???

by Winston Smith :>D 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    My book recommendation...

    I have referenced this book elsewhere on the site, but I wanted to dedicate a thread to this book.

    My recommendation for all X-JW's to help them combat any future mind control is the book:

    Under the Influence, by John Goldhammer.

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573920061/qid=1080747768/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/102-8116702-9416903?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

    I t focuses on finding your true, inner personality and then living true to it. Becoming part of any group can rob one of their identity, and therefore, rob them of a sense of existence.

    Here are a few quotes from the book:

    ?A ?safety in numbers? approach to life is dangerously flawed; if all the numbers are zeros, people find themselves living in a communal morass ? a collective existential vacuum ? that is not only unsafe, but marks the end of one?s individuality, freedom, and autonomy.?

    ?There is an accumulative cruelty in a number of men, though none in particular are ill-natured.?

    ?To remain free of collective influences, one needs the perspective of individual autonomy or self-determination, which is the first thing one loses in most groups.?

    ?If you have been put into your place long enough, you will begin to act like the place?

    ?Collective identities are crutches for the lame, shields for the timid, beds for the lazy, nurseries for the irresponsible.?

    ?What the crowd requires is mediocrity of the highest order.?

    ?When people are said to be in good company, often the reason is simply that they have the more civilized kind of vices; perhaps it is the same as with poisons, the subtlest of which are the most dangerous.?

    ?The tyrant grinds down his slaves and they don?t turn against him; they crush those beneath them.?

    ?So, let us be alert ? alert in a twofold sense: since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.?

    And now the following is a few an excerpt from the book. I believe it is worthwhile to read this because many of us will be able to relate to the feelings at one time in our life, and therefore will see the potential that is inside of us all if we dare look for it?

    ?After years spent playing our assumed roles, our collective persona ? the mask we wear- becomes more and more disturbing; we being to feel uneasy, disillusioned, restless, empty. A deep, unnamable frustration nibbles away at the soul. We attempt to explain the feelings away by saying it?s just a mid-life crisis (or other outside reason). But in fact we?re having an ?existential crisis?, a deep gnawing dread that somehow we?ve missed living our own life, missed doing some unknown something, which if not discovered and undertaken soon, will vanish forever and become a living death. Thoughts of suicide (because we?ve been killing our own uniqueness) and feelings of ?being lost? arrive like an invading army storming the walls of our consciousness. Now we?re in the hero?s initiation. Collective dragons and monsters surface, beating us down into a morass of collective ?shoulds?, a deadening and mind-numbing drumbeat of how we ?should? live our lives.

    What?s happening? The authentic individuality is struggling to be born out of collective dominance. The battle has begun and the stakes are enormous. One?s very soul is at stake- one?s existential fundamental prerogative to live life as a singular, unique expression. That is our obligation, to live our own life, a life if unlived, becomes dead and stagnant, a pollutant in the cosmos, a place without meaning and reason to exist.

    The hero, beaten down by the collective, wearing the leaden armor of institutionalized systems, must now step off of the treadmill, and resurrect (rescue) the Self. Of course, the collective responds to such ?selfishness? with viscous attacks. Mustering all their forces, groups bombard the hero with doubt, fear, and especially guilt ? guilt that supposedly stems from ?doing one?s own thing?. In fact, only when we do ?our own thing? do we live a life that has meaning and value for the whole. We add meaningful value to any group only through our distinctiveness, not our sameness.

    Having survived the collective armies, our hero returns from slaying the collective dragon, empowered with new found strength and courage. We now have access to real treasure, and that hard-won treasure is our unique gift that has survived the ?valley of the shadow of death?.?

    Thanks for reading this.

    I hope it helps at least one person out there who feels ?lost?.

    Best wishes,

    Paul [Winston.]

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    WOW !

    The hero, beaten down by the collective, wearing the leaden armor of institutionalized systems, must now step off of the treadmill, and resurrect (rescue) the Self. Of course, the collective responds to such ?selfishness? with viscous attacks. Mustering all their forces, groups bombard the hero with doubt, fear, and especially guilt ? guilt that supposedly stems from ?doing one?s own thing?.

    After reading Shotgun's postings, that is so creepy, but true. Hard to believe Goldhammer wasn't a JW.

    What I find interesting, is having really only considered myself as being under control of one group in my life, It raises my awareness, that this philosphy can apply to any group, that suppresses individualism.

    Good find Winston.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D
    After reading Shotgun's postings, that is so creepy, but true. Hard to believe Goldhammer wasn't a JW.

    xjw-b12

    That's what I found frightening as well.

    I thought that since I was out of the JW's, I could never be suckered into another high-control group again.

    The thing I have to now consider for myself is this: can I lose my 'true self' even in an a supposedly 'innocuous' group, and therefore, be robbed of true happiness?

    Here's some info on Goldhammer:

    Goldhammer is a cult survivor himself [never JW, but Niscience].

    He joined the cult after having an education, home, wife, kids, fancy car in the driveway, the whole nine yards.

    Most people would say he had it all.

    He says he felt a 'God-Hole', like something was missing, and that is how he got sucked into a cult.

    I find this bio info of interest because many people feel that only a stupid person would get sucked into a cult.

    This just is not the case.

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    Good warning as well to exjws that are on the rebound.

    Some after leaving jwism, still feel the need to be a part of something, something that gives them some feeling of comfort. For some that feeling of comfort, is something, or somebody, telling them what to do, and how to act. Basically exercising control over them.

    Then the same mistake is made again, "leaping from the frying pan into the fire as it were". by simply joining another mind contol group with a different set of beliefs, but with the same detrimental results.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Wowie! wowie!

    What powerful words, Paul.

    I felt like that while exiting the borg. "Existential crash"...and felt like burning up inside.

    I too, thought of my current Hero, shotgun, while reading this.

    When I read his words to the elders and their responses sometimes I feel he is not only bearing his own thoughts but the thoughts of many of us here.

    At first I thought that taping an elders visit wasn't quite right. Now I think it brings awesome power not only to the hero (shotgun) in this case but also it empowers every one of us here who have struggled in silence with the screws on the WTBTS in our backs.

    I think that is one of the things the WTBS has sown in many of us. ... naming me for one.. was my silence about the injustices I have endured under their rule and I stupidly continue to hold my tongue about the things I know.

    They shut you up, box you in, and turn everyone within their organization (including your family members) against you. No wonder their stupid rules and regulations last so long.

    I truly enjoyed your post Paul, and remember well, your posts about the elder visits. you too are one of my more recent heros.

    sincerely

    Special K

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D
    Then the same mistake is made again, "leaping from the frying pan into the fire as it were".

    I couldn't have said it any better myself!

    This is the position I remember being in once I realized the truth about the Troof!

    I desired to be part of another group that had 'the answers'.

    I'm glad I postponed going to any other churches, bible groups, etc until my mind settled down and I got chance to catch my breath to realize that god wasn't going to strike me dead, right then and there, for not having my name in some other religion's registery.

    Now I am finally looking into things that I always wanted to look into as a JW, and before i even was a JW.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Good link to Amazon.com and the book and reviews.

    One thing I noted in some of the reviews was

    "Support groups, various recovery groups, common interest groups, and community groups can be invaluable, provided they maintain a balance of power between individual autonomy and the group--but no group is immune from regressing into cult-like, destructive patterns."

    When my husband and I were first escorted our of the J.W. Religion, this is one thing that really used to keep cropping up. Other groups, .. We were so gun shy of any organized anything. Gee's I couldn't even dump my smartie box on the table without thinking.. Oh, No.. their all together.. This is not good!..How will the red one's, that I love, stand out when being smothered by all the rest.

    Anyways, we didn't join any type of groups for a long long long time and then I still push off anykind of real organization of individuals in fundraising groups, mom's and tots, nursery school and all the way up. Once any organization says it has a board level.. I cringe!.. By reading your post Paul and the points from this book.. on amazon.. now I know why.

    thanks again

    ((Paul))

    sincerely

    Special K

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Thx for the comments Special K.

    Yes, shotgun is finding that he is becoming a "hero" right now.

    I find reading his posts about the elder visits exasperating.

    It brings up the same feelings I had when I was going through all of that crap myself only months ago.

    Poor shotgun must be feeling so beatup from all of that crap, plus not having your wife in your corner can feel like it's you against the world

    remember well, your posts about the elder visits. you too are one of my more recent heros.

  • bebu
    bebu

    Very interesting stuff!

    Even a community like this could be prone.

    Not that I would argue that this board is not a good thing. Just something I would keep in mind...

    bebu

    remember well, your posts about the elder visits. you too are one of my more recent heros.
    Ditto!
  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D
    Even a community like this could be prone.

    Not that I would argue that this board is not a good thing. Just something I would keep in mind...

    bebu

    I was thinking the same thing.

    Going over in my head of the 'groups' I am in, I analyzed them all.

    JWD, professional associations [people can really get sucked into these contruction groups and let it take over thier lives], my Aikido classes, etc...

    And I was thinking of becoming more involved in politics, but that can be a dangerous group as well.

    Become republican/democrat, and the other group is automoatically your enemy it seems

    remember well, your posts about the elder visits. you too are one of my more recent heros.

    Ditto!

    Ahhhhh, shucks

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