Emotional Blackmail and ex-JWs (page 4)

wednesday

It is a safe place to talk about my religious issues without fear of reprisal. My counselor came from an extreme fundamentalist family background, understands my situation very well.
Blondie

yes it is, and i am not shy at all in saying my first therapist saved my life. I will always be grateful to him for patiently listening to me say for 2 -3 years, "But JWS believe , .." Finally after that amout of time i was able to listen to him and listen to my own gut . It was terrfying to know that all my opinions were based on an organization, or what some elder said. He helped me throught the darkest time in my life. He is deceased now, and i have another therapist, and this one is also wonderful. He has a lot of fun in his life and he is helping me learn how to lighten up and have some fun. I've had insurance also that paid, and actually consider it a blessing from jehoavah.My current doc is a jewish person and while he does not understand totally the fundy thing, i feel very comfortable with him b/c our religions were so simailar. (we are cousins to the jews u know) It is a gift ot be able to listen with discernment and know how to help people see the need for changes,and how to make them.

Sentinel

Lady Lee, thanks for this great thread. I have enjoyed reading everyone's posts here. Such good information. The JW belief system fits so well with "women being considered second-class". That's why my mom was drawn into it. Co-dependance, on a different level. She raised her three daughters the same way. Thank goodness, we are free from all of that and our lives have improved so much!

Welcome kalela! A very good post here for your first one.

/<

wavvy

This is a really interesting thread...although from a few years ago.

I left my JW husband some years back because of years and years of emotional abuse. I left the JWs because I realised that it was my beliefs that had caused me to stay in an abusive relationship for so long: the brainwashing that led me to believe that leaving my husband was not an option.

In reading this thread though it has occurred to me that the organisation not only created me the submissive victim, but created the abuser as well. The emotional manipulation by the organisation is so ingrained that a man raised in that way of thinking can easily develop an abusive mentality and think it completely normal. Not only completely normal, but scripturally justified!

You've probably all thought of that before, but it is an eye-opener to me....new-comer that I am!

RaraAvis

I went through counseling after I left in the early 90s. One thing my therapist helped me to see is that the organization as a whole, as well as the local congregations are like one big dysfunctional family. The dysfunction includes but is not limited to; physical abuse to children taking place at almost every meeting in the library or the bathrooms; abuse to women who are expected to do as they are told; not allowing anyone to have their own voice; the father (Jehovah) is intolerant of any wrongdoing i.e. expects perfection; the elders have no boundaries; sexuality is controlled and suppressed; all or nothing teachings; lives are not as important as obedience; the list goes on and on.

When you shrink the whole thing down, it is nothing more than one great big dysfunctional family. It also attracts the dysfunctional person, it fits, feels familiar. So when a person is healthy emotionally they can see clearly how far off base it is.

ra

Lady Lee

wavvy

In reading this thread though it has occurred to me that the organisation not only created me the submissive victim, but created the abuser as well. The emotional manipulation by the organisation is so ingrained that a man raised in that way of thinking can easily develop an abusive mentality and think it completely normal. Not only completely normal, but scripturally justified!

First welcome to the board. I truly believe you are right. People are groomed to be abusers or victims. And the saddest thing is that they use the Bible to justify the abuse

Lady Lee

ra

It took me a while to figure this out so good for you for first getting help and having a therapist who understood

boopoopidoo

How's this for emotional blackmail; they sent the brothers who had dug my mum's grave to my work, who asked me. as I served customers, how was Mum going to feel when she was ressurected, and I wasn't there!!!!!

BloominMarvellous

I totally agree, when I was going through a rebellious patch, my study conductor asked how I think my deceased Gran will feel when she is resurrected and Im not there. Its been two and half years and I still havent got over her death and I was suffering severe depression at the time!

It all in the name of Christian Love!!!

Lady Lee

OMG How cruel

mrsjones5

Geez, I my parents just did every last one of those points

Emotional Blackmail and ex-JWs

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