Relationship: Do you hold back from saying all you are thinking?

by Sassy 25 Replies latest social relationships

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  Tashawaa

  I did talk to him about this 'thing' last night.. turns out I should have followed my gut and not my heart.. He doesn't understand as much as he wants to.......and I feel like I created a rift between us for the first time. He says I was right to talk to him about it though....and upset I waited a few days to do so.. but I can't help but be sorry I said anything at all.....

  Oh, God, no Sassy. We don't know "what the thing is" but follow your heart! Firstly, you didn't create a rift - it was there. You felt it, and now you've brought it to his attention. He says you were right to bring it up ... now he may need some time to sort it out (or his thoughts). You're establishing a trust, an intimacy in bringing up things that you could ignore (and have fester inside you) and sharing them with him... He obviously wants to know, and it looks like he couldn't understand why you held it in so long (a few days). Don't be sorry you said anything at all. It was (IMO) the right thing to do. If it was reversed - he felt or needed to talk to you about "this thing" - would you have wanted to know?
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  simplesally

  pm me Sassy
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  fedolox

  I guess it depends on how important the information is, for you or the other person.

  What will be the consequences to live with for you or the other person if you dont say it?

  The reality shows. Most of the time we have to risc something to find what we are looking for.
  Its easier to win then to loose. And sometimes we can only really win if we are not afraid to loose.
  But I am sure if there is love ... then there is a way ... how crazy and difficult the way will be :)
  Be honest and courageous to yourself
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  stillajwexelder

  Not easy Sassy - but just because you are no longer a witness, does not mean that all bible counsel is incorrect - some is still good -- there is a time to speak and a time to keep quiet -- if something is bothering you then there is a time to speak -- if he loves you -- he will understand
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  Sassy

  Interesting this thread would pop up this morning.. my relationship has been at a crossroads of sorts lately..

  and I have been honest because some things were building and needed to be said..

  Not sure what is going to happen.. but we're trying. I am not throwing the towel in yet........ although the threads of hope get thinner each time..
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  simplesally

  Hang in there, Sass.

  I remember when my ex mother in law said it seems when there is no money, love flies out the window. Now, I am not saying that the sentiment is true but it has some weight. Financial stress can cause lots of problems, stress and sometimes causes others to react or do things they normally would not do........... both you and him. Maybe, just maybe, this is what is going on? Maybe once he gets a handle on his finances and can contribute, you might see the guy you used to know.