This time try not to hot wire it to your little plastic vibrating thing.
Who told you about that?
~Aztec
(As promised) BETHEL TRIP part 7. Loosing my balance
by seven006 46 Replies latest jw friends
-
Aztec
-
iiz2cool
Bahahaha! Walter is no angel!
Who says I'm no angel???I'm nominating Walter for sainthood.
Therapy may do me more good.
Walter
-
think41self
Dave, you old fossil
As always, I enjoy your story telling style. Lots of pain and real feelings and struggles in your life....must be where all that gray hair comes from?
One thing I can really relate to in your story...nothing would ever make me regret having my kids. Much as I'd like to go back and re-live my life with the knowledge I have now...I can't figure out a way to do that and still end up with my kids as they are now. So maybe it's a good thing ol' Doc and Marty Mcfly aren't around with their time machine.
I look forward to your next installment.
Tracy
-
seven006
lark my old friend,
Having a sip or two tonight? Wish I could join you. I have never shared the emotions other have had while this was going on with me or when I talk about it. A few years after this little experience I had a mild heart attack. That didn't seem to effect me much either except for me taking a very serious look at my health. Like most things in my life I just took it for granted. That explains a lot doesn't it.
Good to see you peeking in.
Carrie,
You just did.
Walter,
Have you ever considered heroin?
Tracy,
Old fossil? Bite me woman.
I wouldn't change a thing. It's been quite a trip and I'm glad I have my boys to look at and realize it was all worth it. Now I have my little grand daughter and it just reinforces it all. The only time I ever really had a fear of death was when I was a JW. Go figure.
Life is weird.
Dave
-
shotgun
Dave you say writing is difficult for you and you don't like it......You must really excel at things you do like then because your ability to capture or retell your life and put it into words is remarkable.
Take care double Scotch boy, go get a massage now to work out that writers cramp. Craig will pay for it.
-
gumby
In the middle of trying to rewrite the history of mankind in my head to replace the myth of the naked lady and talking snake, I also had to deal with possibility of never seeing my Mom or family again and coming to the realization that I have become a grave disappointment to them. I also had to fit in the fact that I would not be able to see my sons grow up everyday
So.....big deal! I had to share my bedroom with my two younger sisters cuz we had a small house!
Seriously ya sick bastard.......nicely written, and expressed in a manner many can relate to.
When a person has been raised a dub or at least spent many years in later life as one, ...and then leaves,...the after effects are enormous. Most on this planet can not even relate to what we go through...................which is why we are stuck with listening to old bastards like you on forums like these to help us keep our sanity.
Gumby
-
avishai
Most of my emotions have been sucked out of me as you will see as I write more installments. It's kind of peaceful in a way and I have found happiness in the quiet numbness of it all. Life is kind of funny as long as you can keep laughing at yourself
Well, laughter is one of the best emotional reactions.
Life is both a tragedy full of joys and a Sick joke w/ death as the punchline. And it sure is funny!!! I mean that!
-
bigboi
All I can say is FUCK the Watchtower.
-
orangefatcat
Oh Dave, I felt that my heart was trying to break out of my chest. Your life has had so many vast ups and downs. AS I read each word, I began to cry and see that someone else was nearly devoured by the Shark Organization. You are an incrediable person. I love that you shared your heartfelt feelings with us, and the life you have fought to survive. I knew in reading your story that you really didn't want to destroy yourself, you just didn't know how to stop being angry with yourself and everyone else. Your actions showed that you were really crying out for help, but you were pushing it away. You weren't taking hold of that life jacket. It reminded me of the time I was in deep rushing water and I was drown I was going to die and yet needing help so as not drown. A man who was fearless, took it upon himself to try and save me from drowning, but for as much as I didn't want to drawn I was in fact fighting against him, and finally when he got me to a rock ledge my girlfriends hands were reached out to grab me and still I wouldn't take her hand. I didn't want to die and yet for some reason I was pushing the help away. Sounds crazy I know but the more I wanted to survive the further I pushed the man and friend away from me. In everyday life that happens like you said. YOu really had no intentions in you sub-conscience to die but at the same time in panic you were pushing your self deeper into deaths door. The help was there for you. And thank God you finally realized you were going to survive no matter what. You took His Hand.
The Orangization puts the worst in front of its JWs and in a way this causes in people literallly undo anxiety , fear and panic. Making people believe that if you don't do what is right then as you said they tell you that a Loving God is going to pluck out your eyes by ravens and that you say that a Loving God is going to swallow you up when the earth opens up, because you didn't do the right things they expected of you. The GB. has caused undo panic and fear into the hearts of young children, telling them if they do wrong you get disfellowshipped by a Loving God and if you don't repent this Loving and merciful father will destroy you at Armaggedon. How dare they portray God as an evil God. And yet they insist it is a Loving God who is going to destroy you. See all the complexities the WatchTower pushes and ingrains in the mind of people in the congregations.
As a child, (before being a witness) I loved God and Jesus with all my heart mind and soul. I was always happy going to church learning about a wonderful God and Jesus how He is our saviour and would take care of everything in life. Call it niavity or childish it was what being in the hands of God meant to me. I understood this because of the teachings my grandmother. She was a devote woman who loved God and Christ and everyone loved her dearly. I was so blessed to have had a wonderful grandma. She was a christian with the Church of England ...Anglican. Any way at bed time my grandma would spend time telling me stories about a loving God and how children were very special to Jesus. She told me that Jesus loved children and he would tenderly allow them to sit upon his knees, and endeared them into His Heart. He showed the people of his day that this is how we should be towards our children and at the same time to tenderly love them and shepherd them in the same loving way. Up above my bed my grandma had a lovely portrait of Christ and another picture of Jesus with children all around him and sheep were in this picture. I alway fell asleep saying my prayers and looking up at Christ knowing that he would watch over me and take care of me and would bless everyone on the earth. So young was I that I loved being at grandmas side every day and her love of God made me have a love of Him and his Son. I really and truly did know God and Christ Jesus.
Then becoming a JW, not by choice because I was 13 and my father said this is what we are doing and that is what was. I was deeply saddened that dad told me I could no longer go to church with grandma but now we were going to go to the KINGDOM HALL. You see everything grandma and the churches teach are lies in the eyes of Jehovah. blah blah. and she will be destroyed by Jehovah if she doesn't change and become one of us. Yuck.
After being in the organizaton for 38 yrs. I realized that one day I was never good enough as a Christian at least that is what my mom and dad told me as did my sisters. I just was a poor example to the congregation and a loser for a mother. Nothing I did was good enough. But to me I felt deep in my heart I was a good person and Christian but I was disallusioned by all the things going on in the organization and the congregations the fighting back biting , the gossip the cliques, and class distinctions amongst the poor and the well todo. The showing off, the elders out doing another elder, sucking up, kissing up and it was terrible that they had no time for the sick or elderrly. They gave the talks but didn't preform the walks.
So in Dec, 1999 I took hold of my live and divorced a fanatical JW husband and left the so-called Loving Organization. I was disfellowshipped for adultry. I was sick and tired and fed up with it all. I went for help through therapy and had a wonderful male friend who had been a friend for 5 yrs yet not a JW. I would spent most of my time with him. Eventually we married and we have shared our love and happiness for the last several yrs together. I have not looked back ,because I knew I was drowning ,but this time i didn't push help away, I took it and here I am a very Happy person and good Christian who does good deeds to others and in a drop of a pin help any one I could.
I love your courage Dave and your strength. I am glad you survived. So hurry up pleasse with part 8 because I can't wait.
Love Orangefatcat (Terry)
-
Vivamus
Thank you for posting this. I feel kinda glad having read that, knowing I wasn't the only stupid one after the cult ...thanx.
-
Blue Bubblegum Girl
Who says I'm no angel???
