Do all Bethelite marriages end up happy?

by freddi 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • freddi
    freddi

    hugs joelbear,
    I am sure that Bethel can be enjoyable time in ones life and I am glad that you had such an great experience. Thnaks for the input.
    Are you happy now? Have you found the freedom to deal with your homosexualtiy? I hope so. Heads up and peace to you as well.

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    I wouldn't say I am happy as I want to be, but I'm on the road.

    I suffer from OCD which inhibits my happiness to some extent. I am also afraid of taking the risks necessary to explore life to its fullest, which is frustrating for me.

    hugs

    Joel

  • metatron
    metatron

    The common way for married folks to leave Bethel was to
    get pregnant. That way, they saved face getting out without
    having to admit they hated it. Some sisters have always
    been unhappy there because they're just stuck there because
    hubby is some Grand Poobah in the organization. All the
    usual stuff about women quietly fighting with each other
    is all there, as you'd expect, just covered up. Heck, what
    hasn't been covered up in this religion?. You also get some
    real dominant sisters who tell brothers what to do, just
    as in many elder marriages. Any body remember Sister Chyke?
    (I think I spelled that right - husband had sight in one
    eye and was big shot in Adams Street factory). Mid seventies
    some ex C.O.'s wife (Mays?) ran off with some bro in the
    Service dept. - it happens, you just don't hear about it.

    metatron

  • freddi
    freddi

    Hi Joelbear,
    I am sorry to hear that you are not as happy as you would like to be because of OCD. Would you tell me what that is?
    Peace and Blessings

  • freddi
    freddi

    Hi Metatron,
    Thanks for your info. I always knew that there was stuff that has not been exposed about Bethel. Of course it is not our business as to the details but they can at least let it be known that life "as usual" does go on at Bethel. I was always led to believe that Bethel life was some sort of Eutopia.
    Peace and Blessings

  • rob
    rob

    One of my former best friends married a Bethelite. They left Bethel and moved back to our hometown. Things quickly deteriorated, they had only been married a couple of months when Alice showed up on my partents doorstep, beaten. She had snuck out, her husband would not normally have allowed her out of the house, he was afraid she'd have an affair with any man she came in contact with. They divorced shortly after that, but she was so traumatized that she did not remarry for many years.

    I have had other friends who have dated and/or married Bethelites who have found that thse men were not always able to adapt to life in the real world.

  • freddi
    freddi

    Hi Rob,
    That is so sad about your friend. At least she chose not to be abused by that s.o.b. anymore. I am sure that with love and support she will find true happiness.
    Thanks for your response.
    Peace

  • LDH
    LDH

    I would think it was easy to stay 'happily married' while at Bethel. You don't even have the time to take a leisurely crap, much less sit down and spend time with your mate. (Unless you're studying the 'Tower or some other spiritual reading material.)

    But try living in the real world, making decisions about investments, budgets, children, etc.

    Joel, I would bet that the reason you were relatively happy at Bethel has something to do with your OCD disorder. From what I know of this disorder, you will tend to like highly regimented schedules etc etc. This is the same reason some THRIVE in the military, others can't get out fast enough.

  • RationalWitness
    RationalWitness

    Metatron,

    Yes, I remember Zelda Chyke. I feared her more than I feared her husband. She was quite a Valkyrie.

    The one who left her husband and ran off with another Betehelite was Fred Maes' wife (I forget her first name.) He came to Bethel from Circuit/District work and was a very nice guy, down to earth, spiritually minded, but not self-righteous. His wife was not the only Bethel sister to run off with another man ... it happened at least twice during the mid-1970's. Alcoholism was a problem for some Bethel sisters who just could not adapt to institutional life, but had no options since their hubbie's were too high up in the hierarchy to relinquish such glory.

    Rational

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