Hi!
Welcome to this nice venting venue. After reading your intro with the phrase "enjoying every vice", I now understand your smoking avatar.
Be careful of not becoming a self-fulfilling WTBTS prophesy, you know, the throwing out the baby with the bath water that so many do upon leaving the Org. So, many go on binges of such proportion that they get used as an example of what "NOT" to do.
Be happy and well.
DY