Black and White Thinking (page 3)

Lady Lee

DanTheMan

what an inciteful summary of what really goes on. Thank you

Oxnard Hamster

Yeah, I noticed the WTS is black and white. Funny thing is, my friends and family always said I thought in terms of black and white, even long before studying with the duds.

As doubts began to spring up about the duds, and after I left, I began to recognize those gray areas. After all, I knew a lot of good Christian people before I studied with the JWs. I knew there is no possible way that every single person involved in Christendom will be destroyed, while every single dub will be saved. There is just no way. I've seen too much good out of what they call Christendom for that to be true.

Phantom Stranger

Wonderfully written LL.

Lady Lee

Thank you Phantom

Oxnard

I too experienced the B&W thinking from before my connection to the JWs. Considering the history of the WT founders then it makes sense that this is how they thought and that the teachings they used carried the same kind of thinking

bebu

Lady Lee, thank you for this wonderful thread!

I think about the double-edged sword of using the terminologies and tactics that JWs have already learned. By their own standards of black and white, the witnesses struggle when they see that there is more black than white on their plate. Yet I shudder to think that I might endorse these concepts in their lives, if I'm not careful!

I love the comment of colors, not just ugly gray. (What? No rainbow icon??) The possibilities of our lives are beautiful things to comtemplate.

(JamesT, you beat me to that question about application. )

Lady Lee, AMEN, AMEN to your comments about reaching out to hurting dubs on the emotional level. It is easier to trust someone who holds your heart gently and tenderly in their hands, now and always. And I will add that it is imperative for us to HONESTLY care about the folks we talk to, rather than use "caring" as a ploy for getting them free.

These days I'm speaking with my JW neighbor about difficult issues, and I truly care about her! She's not something like a psych class project. I want her to be a color, not a mere black or white. ..Even the strangers (Mormon, JW) at my door whom I don't know, they are people with colorful possibilities, even though they don't (yet) know it. ...It's rather exciting to think about...

bebu

Lady Lee

bebu

I have read what you are doing - excellent job. They have been taught that we are nasty and evil. Real caring shows how wrong they are and disarms them.

Keep up the excellent work

One suggestion might be to continue to use the inclusive "we" when talking to her. "We were taught..." "We believed..." "In the magazines and at the meetings we were told...."

Doing this will help her to see you are on her side and not against her.

I love colors and rainbows

Phantom Stranger

You know, I re-read this, and while I agree with the prices and effects of black and white thinking, I see it pervasive in American culture - doesn't seem tied to "mind control" to me. My mom was looking for support for her B&W worldview when she found the witnesses.

Seems that B&W thinking is an oversimplification of the world preferred by any group or individual who doesn't want to make hard choices that require thought and might have to be made with foggy data.

bebu

One suggestion might be to continue to use the inclusive "we" when talking to her. "We were taught..." "We believed..." "In the magazines and at the meetings we were told...."

This would be very important for someone who has a JW background, which I (fortunately) don't.

I think it has been necessary to use voice and eyes to convey emotional support, even while my words are saying things that are hard for her to hear. I think this helps her know I am somehow saying "we".

bebu

Lady Lee

You are absolutely right Phantom

theis B&W thinking is most certainly not limited. It is found in almost all dsyfunctional systems, whether that is between a couple of people of a family or a group of any size. I think I mentioned that in the first post. And believe me I first learned of this in dealing with my pre-JW family abuse issues.

One would suppose that any religion based on God would be free of mind control techniques such as B&W thinking. A healthy belief system would encourage openess, real honesty and the freedom to ask questions and explore various possibilities.

Black and White Thinking

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