Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs? (page 5)

3rdgen

DOC, So Bethel actually produced something positive for a change. Yeaaa.

DesirousOfChange

So Bethel actually produced something positive for a change. Yeaaa

One of those tours to NYC and Bethel. She lived almost 100 miles from me in a different state, different circuit, so we would have most likely never crossed paths if it wasn't that chance meeting. A group of young guys went together. It was the "spiritual" thing to do, although our hotel room was still the party room. Boys will be boys. It was a great experience. There was an older guy from my Cong serving there at the time so we got the full tour. It was enough to convince me that 4-years at Bethel (which is what they required back then) would be about as bad as 3-years in the military. (Skipped both of those tours of duty thankfully!)

Doc

mrquik

I had quit going to meetings from age of 18 to 22. Was 22 in 1974. My mother instilled the 1975 scare in me. Figured I needed to straighten my life up & my mother mentioned Deb had just broken off her engagement with another brother. I saw my chance, courted her & married her in 1975. Love didn't even come into the equation. I was more concerned with not dying. I figured I learn to love her in "Paradise" just a few short months away. We fought constantly. I stayed in the relationship for 34 years. Finally found the love of my life & filed for divorce. Of course got DF'd which was the best thing to ever happen to me. Read C of C & I was out. Would I have married her if I wasn't a witness? I never would have met her. Then again, I never would have met my current wife. Was it worth 34 years of my life? I don't think so.....

oppostate

Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs?

Nope. Our paths would most probably have never crossed and never met otherwise.

ToesUp

Definitely...Yes. Great guy. Wonderful person, father and husband.

Quarterback

Probably not. I wouldn't have married anyone at all. I'd be a Rock Star ressembling someone like Keith Richards

stuckinarut2

Most people marry someone from within their own social circles, so it's no wonder witnesses do the same. Add to that the outright condemnation by the GB of marrying anyone "worldly".

I know of MANY witness couples who married ones they are not really suited for, yet some stick with it and make a success by forging their own foundations, and some don't.

3rdgen

Mrquick,

34 years is such a long time. I know because I belonged to my first hubby from the age of 15 till 47. married 30 years. I was clueless. I gave the Borg and him the best years of my life! Glad things are great now!

Oppostate,

Thanks for your candor.

Toes up,

Two thumbs up!

Quarterback,

I would have LOVED to be a back up singer for a famous artist or group. For me ideally, marriage would have come at least 10 years later than it did.

Stuck, So true.

Spiral

No, because we would have never met.

Mr. Spiral and I have had this conversation before (again, the wine helps) and agree we probably wouldn't have considered ourselves compatible if we had met, although we would have been friends.

If I hadn't been a witness I would have been off to college, as would have Mr. Spiral. But his interests are very different than mine so we probably wouldn't have crossed paths.

But, we've had a great marriage and have stayed together 30 plus years. We were just incredibly lucky it worked out for us. Also incredibly lucky that we both realized TTATT independently, but at about the same time. We are in total agreement about that.

I know a couple of people who got married because they were told they couldn't break off their engagements without being DF'd. (What the h*&^ is an engagement even for then, anyway!) Both have been through bitter divorces. Same for many we knew that were just far to young to be getting married.

The cult and families in the cult exert considerable control on who you can meet, and who you pick, and why you think you need to be married in the first place. Therefore it does not surprise me when I see divorces, and obviously unhappy couples.

Dissonant15

Like cofty, I'm unusually fortunate to say allowing us to meet was the only good thing about the cult.

I think I would've married him as non witnesses if there were some way to meet.

He's also the one who later helped me wake up. So very fortunate here.

Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs?

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