Winston, what I would suggest is to be a "peacemaker" by telling them what they want to hear and that you are sorry for all the trouble you caused them. Otherwise they WILL find ways to df you - even if you keep postponing the judicial meetings. If you always find excuses not to attend their meeting, they will turn around and say (by a majority of votes and according to the instructions in their "elders-handbook") that you are rebellious by not submitting to their "reasonable" requests to meet with them. I know for sure that they are planning that and you can be rest assured that they are not going to help you find the biblical answer you asked for. The elders will only go along the lines of what the Society prescribes in terms of understanding their interpretations. They are not allowed to do personal bible research on their own volition - they must be obedient to the Watchtower, otherwise they will go "against Jehovah".
Just play along with them Winston - remember you have to look at the bigger picture: to be reconciled with your wife is much more important - afterwards just slowly fade away and make sure that you "feed" your wife the real truths found in the bible (not with the Society).
What I did, I started to read other bibles and you'll be surprised to find out that you will be able to understand it better with the help of God's Holy Spirit. Also check the Greek Interlinear Scriptures (printed by the Society) with the New World Translation and you'll find hundreds if not thousands of discrepancies where the Society fraudulently changed the wording and/or contents of the scriptures ever so slightly in order to fit their own ideologies! If you can get a Greek Interlinear from around 1960, you''ll be pleasantly surprised and utterly disgusted how the Society has been deceiving you. The later editions of the Greek Interlinear were modified somewhat by the Society as too many people started noticing these deliberate errors (mistranslations).
Can you now see why it is necessary to disfellowship Witnesses when they start doing their own research and find out the real truth about the bible? They will force out any member who attempts to investigate the scriptures with earlier translations intelligently, otherwise there would be a large exodus of people leaving the Society for good...
Let me say this: The Watchtower Organization is guided by "another spirit", certainly not the "Holy Spirit" and this "other spirit" deceives people ever so smartly, and no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. (2 Cor. 11:14,15)...